07 Dec 2008, 10:42 pm
Good call
reassure
re·as·sure [rə shr]
vt
1. put somebody’s mind at ease: to make a person feel less anxious or worried
From my point of view it seemed that she told me what she told me in a rather reassuring manner. Yes, I believe that she reassured me that it's ok to have average intelligence. What was she actually trying to say? I don't know.
07 Dec 2008, 10:50 pm
07 Dec 2008, 11:27 pm
08 Dec 2008, 1:23 am
08 Dec 2008, 3:05 am
You seem to be making assumptions that she was making assumptions. Of course that's just an assumption.
But whatever she may have assumed, assuming she assumed anything, she right about looking for contentment in things other than being extraordinary (regardless of if you are). It's great to place high value on intelligence, I would certainly never suggest that people shouldn't be trying reach their mental potential. However, (now I'm probably going to be tarred and feathered for saying this here) sometimes that value can border on obsession with some people, especially people who were frequently told they were special as children. Usually they are either already outsiders, or they become outsiders when they have been set apart by that knowlege that they are better in some ways. It may be true that they are gifted, but emphasising their innate qualities leads to the inevitable and for them devastating reality that they can make mistakes, or that something new may be harder for them than they are used to. If they are used to being the best at everything, and suddenly realise they are not, a person with a gifted mind set rather than a growing mind set is more likely to become bitter or even give up on themselves. Telling kids that they are superior puts an insane amount of pressure on them to protect that identity, especially if for whatever reason that's the only value they can get from living.
Now I'm not saying that's you. You talk more about achievements you've had to work hard for, rather than innate ability, and that's good. That shows you value a growing mindset that takes work to improve, rather than developing the egotisical expectation that you should automatically be better just because you were smart to begin with. But she may also have sensed something about you that I sense from the threads you make. That you may still have the same unhealthy attachment to being superior that those prodigies often have. It's unhealthy because it interferes with their finding joy in life when that becomes the most important aspect of their identity. It's irrelevant whether or not you are mentally superior, it's still unhealthy to dwell on it the level that you do. Perhaps the question you should be asking is why you feel this is so important to be accepting of yourself. And especially why are you so frantic to prove it to others? Would that really bring you the satisfaction that you seek?
08 Dec 2008, 9:11 am
08 Dec 2008, 9:44 am
08 Dec 2008, 11:28 pm
But whatever she may have assumed, assuming she assumed anything, she right about looking for contentment in things other than being extraordinary (regardless of if you are). It's great to place high value on intelligence, I would certainly never suggest that people shouldn't be trying reach their mental potential. However, (now I'm probably going to be tarred and feathered for saying this here) sometimes that value can border on obsession with some people, especially people who were frequently told they were special as children. Usually they are either already outsiders, or they become outsiders when they have been set apart by that knowlege that they are better in some ways. It may be true that they are gifted, but emphasising their innate qualities leads to the inevitable and for them devastating reality that they can make mistakes, or that something new may be harder for them than they are used to. If they are used to being the best at everything, and suddenly realise they are not, a person with a gifted mind set rather than a growing mind set is more likely to become bitter or even give up on themselves. Telling kids that they are superior puts an insane amount of pressure on them to protect that identity, especially if for whatever reason that's the only value they can get from living.
Now I'm not saying that's you. You talk more about achievements you've had to work hard for, rather than innate ability, and that's good. That shows you value a growing mindset that takes work to improve, rather than developing the egotisical expectation that you should automatically be better just because you were smart to begin with. But she may also have sensed something about you that I sense from the threads you make. That you may still have the same unhealthy attachment to being superior that those prodigies often have. It's unhealthy because it interferes with their finding joy in life when that becomes the most important aspect of their identity. It's irrelevant whether or not you are mentally superior, it's still unhealthy to dwell on it the level that you do. Perhaps the question you should be asking is why you feel this is so important to be accepting of yourself. And especially why are you so frantic to prove it to others? Would that really bring you the satisfaction that you seek?
Wonderful message.
The answer to your last question is, yes, it would bring me the satisfaction that I seek.
Been there, done that.
08 Dec 2008, 11:33 pm
08 Dec 2008, 11:42 pm
08 Dec 2008, 11:50 pm
08 Dec 2008, 11:53 pm
well at least we now know: Mw99 is an IQ elitist.
09 Dec 2008, 12:09 am
I would be an IQ elitist if I were a genius.
09 Dec 2008, 12:13 am
09 Dec 2008, 4:29 am
sartresue
Veteran
Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism
09 Dec 2008, 11:26 am
Yer average aspie here topic
OK by me. 
