The Aversion to Eye Contact - Phobia or... Something Else?

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In general I will look at a facial expression more than looking directly at someone's eyes when I want to read body language.

I hate looking in people's eyes. Don't know why (sorry, would be rich if I could work it out) although it generally makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't usually look at people's faces at all when I am speaking to them, I often look at the ground or out a window (slight attention span issues there!) When I go out, I put dark sunglasses on and pretend I can't see. Try it, it really works!

P.S The tutors at my college FOR THE BLIND agree that this is a funny strategy and in no way demeens blind/VI people so sorry if you are offended by this!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Well it's only in Western culture where eye contact is put in such esteem. If you live in countries such as Japan, the Koreas, Vietnam, Singapore, and a few African countries(can't remember which ones), eye contact is perceived as hostility.

For me it's distracting. The moment I look into someone's eyes, I am aware of both them and myself, and the fact that they are reacting to me and seeing me in my eyes and interpreting me and what they perceive as my reaction to them. I can't focus on all that - it is overwhelming. I can only focus on one thing at a time. I want to focus on what I am saying, and then what they are saying, and not be distracted. I can make myself look into someone's eyes, but then I am also confused with how long to hold the eye contact - I very easily become so distracted by their eyes that I stare into them, and people don't like that. I like looking at babies though - they stare into my eyes and I stare back. And of course that is easy because babies don't talk so I don't have to simultaneously pay attention to what they are saying!

I don't know, maybe it's a privacy thing, but whenever my eyes meet someone else's, I feel like I've been "caught" or something scary is about to happen. It gives me the same feeling as if I get when I stumble and am about to fall. I feel helpless for a moment.

Eye contact is very direct. It feels very rude and aggressive to me. My cats feel the same way, so I know I'm not alone.

Plus, when I make eye contact, I lose a lot of my ability to figure out people's words. I may get one out of every three words, and none of the between-the-lines meaning. (I also have mild auditory processing difficulties, as measured by an audio-only test.)

I didn't even notice it for a long time, but all through childhood I was keeping my eyes on peoples' mouths instead of their eyes--because their mouths went along with what I heard, and didn't add very much to information overload, and may have helped with the auditory processing by providing extra visual cues.

Have you tried faking eye contact?

Your therapist has probably been trained in psychological social phobia, but not in the neurological aspects of processing social information; asking people to make eye contact is fine if their processing is good, but when it gets in the way you may have to use different strategies. If you can fake eye contact and work on getting more information from people's voices, it may help you communicate better. (On the other hand: if you can learn true eye contact, without losing something else or going catatonic, it may be an option too.)

I find making eye contact utterly exhausting. Its hard work for me.
When I was young I couldn't recognize faces at all. As I grew up I realized people expected me to look them in the eye. When I tried I would kind of have a disconnect (excuse me, this is difficult for me to explain) where I would stand there looking in the direction of the person's face feigning interest. But, my mind would be someplace else entirely. I practiced eye contact for a long time before I could do it and stay engaged with the person I was speaking with.
When I was seeing my therapist, I told him how much it freaked me out to look him in the eye while I was speaking with him. And, that was no problem. Most of our sessions we didn't face each other. Which was very helpful to me.
Nowadays, I chose to do it only when dealing directly with someone. People tend to think you're lying or hiding something if you don't do it.

at age 46 i can now look at peoples' mouths to some extent. i hate and loathe looking into peoples' eyes. I get an excruciating and panicking pain in my chest - very physical and sensory - and i lose all ability to follow their string of words if they are talking. I have observed alot about myself regarding sensory comprehension. WHat i do know is that i have absolutely excellent facial recognition and physical recognition of peopl - abnormally so - to the point i can walk up to someone and say "i saw you in a cafe 15 years ago in such and such a town etc." I think that is something to do with my sharpened visual capacity which is really high.

However with me, once you start trying to get me to take in visuals AND verbals i am comletely befuddled. music and videos is ok on a screen, but th emotional intensity of having to look at someone donstantly and listen to them speak is impossible. i just either have to shut my eyes or focus on a spot on the floor to hear them, OR look at them and lose the words they are uttering.

On a really bad sensory days, i just go to bed and put my hand over my eyes and a pillow over my ears and wait for it to pass.......

I am good with eye contact when it comes to talking to someone who I am very comfortable with. However if I don't know you, I won't look at you. Whenever I buy groceries or whatever, I never look at the cashier.. I am just not comfortable with it.

The whole comfort issue is interesting to me.

I can do eye contact well enough, but I have to concentrate on it. It just doesnt happen naturally. If I am conversing with someone, my eyes are on the subject material.

Wow there are some really good ideas and insights in the posts people have contributed here.

To be honest I only have a problem with eye contact when it's with people who are creepy to me. I just don't wanna look at them cuz it makes me feel uneasy.

If the other person seems okay it is fine. But I DO tend to stare and have been called out on it. I usually just wait for the other guy to look away.