Did You Name It Before You Knew?

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Yup. Before I ever knew Nonverbal Learning Disorder existed, I had realized the similarities between the extreme difficulties my dyslexic brother had with spelling/reading, and the difficulty I had with spatial information. You just can't pound some types of information into our heads with a hammer. When trying to explain why I had such trouble with some things, I would say I thought I had some kind of "spatial learning disability."

I thought it was non-hallucinating schizophrenia.

I called it "Repulsive Personality Syndrome."

I used to call it my false life.

a character. no real name. I just knew I was different.

_________________
(I'm a Girl... )

"The person who knows everything has a lot to learn."

"Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum" (I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am) René Descartes

I didn't call it anything. I just knew something was very wrong with me and spent a lot of my time obsessing over what that something was.

Besides calling it "what the hell is wrong with me", I called it, when combined with my musical ability, Creative Genius Syndrome, which I defined as high creative ability, social cluelessness, no organisational skills, being terribly absent-minded, and clumsiness. I think I was around 16 or 17 when I made up the term.
A few years ago, I drew up a set of criteria for Creative Genius Syndrome. (link here)

I called it my bad luck, when things I did would blow in my face, especially socially. I think I was born the most clueless of NLDers. I've read that many aspies, before knowing, attribute their failures to bad luck till they know better, so I guess I'm not alone.

I just felt that I was on the wrong planet.

I wasn't diagnosed as an adult, but I was diagnosed quite late (age 10), so I think it would similarly apply. I called it being weird. Also, if I saw people who seemed to be autistic, like on TV or in school, I would say "They're like me!" - and sometimes being told to hush up as if it were shameful to compare myself to "ret*ds", even when I was comparing an identical behavior like headbanging.

Falls into the "what-the-hells-wrong-with-me" type responses.

Just thought that life was composed of high highs and low lows. That's just how life is, isn't it? After a few decades seemed like something was always just a little off-frequency. Thought it might be an only child thing. Thought it might be a hypo-glycemic thing. Thought it might be an intelligence/education thing. All these, however, lacked persuasive power--couldn't answer all the questions. I also thought that bad luck was, or should be, an expected component of life. After all, I'd had plenty of good stuff too. Tried always to consciously resist the idea of blame. Whenever I looked closely enough, rarely was there anyone specific to blame. Sometimes. Not often.

I just came to the conclusion that life was sorta like Voltaire's Candide; just violent, confusing, fleeting, and made no sense whatever. Whatever happened, picked myself up soldiered on.

"feel like I need to take a screwdriver and fix all the loose pieces in my head"....
is what I used to say in my teenage years.

at age 20, I was diagnosed by a psych with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" and "Social Phobia". Here, have some Paxil. Gulp. That didn't last long.

Not that I necessarily doubt the diagnosis, but I've come to understand there was a great deal more to it than that.

I am trying shed more light on Asperger's and what role it may play with me. Everything I understand about it tells me that I've got it for sure. It explains too much and in too great a detail not to have some credible influence. But I want to get some professional opinions and learn more about it.