Can't Get Out The Right Word?

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I have much of what was mentioned here alongside with other speech problems. Or is it a language problem? I'm not sure. I am sure that it is a trait that comes from AS.

There are no words in my head when I try to explain something spontaneously. Words are something I have to think about and need time with. I need to think what I want to explain through before; trying to find words, put them into sentences, arrange them into a fitting order.

Then I have no problem explaining. Other than that people often don't understand me at all despite my fantastic explanation.

I sometimes get the impression I speak a different language than most other people. I like mine, I really do. But it would be advantageous to speak both for future purposes I guess.

Sometimes I "lose" the ability to speak properly. This means I speak total gibberish and I know this will sound extremely bizarre, but during this "mode" I think I am a bird and can fly. I speak this non existent language and start singing, flapping my arms as if they are wings, and looking up while walking. Its probably an autistic thing, I hope not a schizo thing. Then I have another thing that makes me speak all disorganized at times, not all the time of course (that would be annoying) and it is so severe that totally random words come out of my mouth which makes no sense whatsoever.

Is it because our thinking is holistic, but language is sequential? It's like the idea in my head is a ball of yarn, and it makes perfect sense, but there's no way to transmit it to another person in a single move. I need to unravel it for the other person, but I can't find the end of the yarn, so I can't begin to explain. Or the yarn seems to have many ends, all of which look like good starting points. I think my explanations tend to be wandering and circular.

I have great difficulties explaining things or spontaneously having conversations. Usually, I need time to think of a response to a certain question in order to translate my thoughts/images into words. Basically, an entire conversation has to be scripted (sometimes with the help of other sources) in order for it to be smooth. Routine small-talk is very smooth for me. For instance, when I fill up my gas tank with gas at the gas station, I rehearse what I'm going to say before I walk up to the cashier. When I get to the cashier, I say "Hello, $X on pump number X, please." The cashier takes the money, hands me the receipt, then I say "Thank you, have a good X (day, evening, or night)." It is the same script each time I pay for gasoline. Similarly, the other routine activities I do, such as going to the store, ordering lunch meat from the deli, ordering pizza via telephone, etc., are also scripted.

Sometimes I lose the ability to get my words out in spontaneous conversations- or sometimes I can only say one word or use echolalia- but it only lasts for a few seconds and soon I can talk- if slowly. I can communicate well, but it has to be planned or a routine for me- I can't apply it to new situations or new expressions too well at all.

If the situation arises where I have to speak or someone speaks to me in an unfamiliar way I can end up looking like a right idiot- I might just stand there frozen or sometimes the consonants or words spoken by others get all jumbled up and I can't understand them- part of auditary processing disorder I suppose.

When I have sensory overload I have occasionaly lost the ability to speak and communicate for a short while (only up to 30 minutes- and it's only once been that long) after the event. But people rarely notice since I tend to be reserved and it doesn't bother me because I tend to be a bit 'spaced out' for hours after anyway- apparently it's a type of shutdown.

I also almost always try to pre-script everything but when I get caught off guard I have a problem with the correct placement of words in a sentence but most people understand the gist of what I'm trying to say.

This morning I was trying to tell a relative that her gerbil had escaped:

"Gerbil floor, the cardboard- don't, floor- gerbil."

No wonder people think I'm nuts!

Tranlation:

The gerbil's on the floor, maybe you should try luring it into that cardboard box that you're about to recycle.