Do You Avoid Friendships Out of a Fear of Being Conned?

Page 2 of 3 [ 39 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Silver_Meteor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,399
Location: Warwick, Rhode Island

31 Dec 2008, 8:11 pm

The only friend that does not take advantage of you is man's best friend.


_________________
Not through revolution but by evolution are all things accomplished in permanency.


bistromathics
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 26
Location: USA

31 Dec 2008, 8:19 pm

Silver_Meteor wrote:
Are you reluctant to get close to people because you are concerned they will try to nail you when you let your guard down?


Uhh... Why do you ask? </sarcasm> Seriously though, I do find many NTs to be untrustworthy. It's just like Postperson said, it's all a power struggle for them.



Dhp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 538

31 Dec 2008, 8:32 pm

The answer quite simply is: Yes.



CelticRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,368
Location: as far away from Autism Speaks as possible

31 Dec 2008, 8:44 pm

I have recently stopped trying to be friends with people at work. Three people who I thought were at least casual friends turned on me at the same time. This was the latest incident in a series. I've decided to keep my work life and my private life strictly separate from now on.

I'm still open to friendships outside of work. At least if something goes wrong I won't have to see the person every day.


_________________
Autism Speaks does not speak for me. I am appalled to discover that Alex Plank has allied himself with an organization that is dedicated to eliminating autistic people. I no longer wish to have anything to do with Wrong Planet. Delete this account.


Sir_Beefy
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 183
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Maryland

31 Dec 2008, 8:53 pm

You see, THIS is the exact attitude that keeps people from being your friend, and its the exact attitude that makes people want to "con you". Friendship isn't life or death. If the person doesn't like you, or you don't like them, move on. If you like them, and they like you, then be friends with them. If they have a problem with you at some point, then they suck and it's their problem, not yours. Most of my friends don't call me. Ever. So I call them instead and everything works out fine. I have seven people I trust. Sadly, only two are within driving distance, and one goes to college in New York. I'm an excellent judge of character, so it's easy for me to see who is friend material and who isn't. So bottom line is, don't put people on a pedestal, cause PEOPLE SUCK A LOT. You know, kind of like how you can't put women on a pedestal. Women suck too. And so do men.


_________________
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world...looking really funny because nobody has eyes." - Jon Lajoie


Postperson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2004
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,023
Location: Uz

31 Dec 2008, 9:33 pm

oh I attract psychos, people who want to befriend me are often crazy or turn out to be. and not 'good' crazy either.



Icheb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,918
Location: Switzerland

01 Jan 2009, 3:25 am

No, I avoid friendships out of a fear of being bored. :?


_________________
"If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing." - Magneto in "X-Men: First Class"


sethzack
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 826

01 Jan 2009, 3:29 am

I have been manipulated most of my life and I was only susceptible because I have AS, I think I can tell when someone is trying to con me now although I wouldn't want anyone to test that theory...

P.S. I forgot to answer the actual question, no I don't avoid friendships because of that. I try and get as many friends as I can. I do however am easily tricked into ordering stuff on T.V. and now I rarely watch T.V. anymore.


_________________
I'm an aspie and wouldn't have it any other way.
- My own words.
I have an addiction to my affliction. - My own words
I Want To Become Stronger...
... Than I Was Yesterday!! !! - The words in my avatar picture.


MattD
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 423
Location: Australia

01 Jan 2009, 3:35 am

yes, last year i had money and video games stolen from me. i wont be so trusting anymore.



philski
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 84
Location: Park City

01 Jan 2009, 4:28 am

Postperson wrote:
oh I attract psychos, people who want to befriend me are often crazy or turn out to be. and not 'good' crazy either.


Unfortunately I've attracted my share of psychos and sickos. I married two of them. When I really screw up, I invite my whole family to celebrate the occasions. The betrayals are too many to mention. I too am open to friendships but now am unwilling to be the one to stick my neck out. I don't think I'm fearful of making friends... just very cautious. :?


_________________
<My Karma ran over your Dogma.>


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

01 Jan 2009, 8:22 am

Icheb wrote:
No, I avoid friendships out of a fear of being bored. :?


This.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Danielismyname
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,565

01 Jan 2009, 8:29 am

I fear getting close to people and getting hurt. Those close to me are the only people who can hurt me.

I don't fear being alone, I fear being with people for this reason (I've been hurt really bad once, and I don't want to ever go back to that place again).



Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

01 Jan 2009, 8:39 am

I don't avoid friendship at all. But I've stopped bending myself into a pretzel to fit in with a person so they'll want to be my friend. Which, for an NLDer like me, is the same as avoiding friendship. It was hard enough making a friend when I DID bend myself into a pretzel, let alone now that I don't make 1/10th of the effort.

Another thing that's new in me is that I don't stay in a relationship till the bitter end as I did all my life. When I see a sign or two that the person is showing less interest than before, I quit.


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


lostD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 560

01 Jan 2009, 9:46 am

I don't avoid friendship but I need time to trust truly someone because I've been cheated on by my so-called friends before... I just don't know anymore who is honest and who's not... well, before I thought everyone was honest in friendship !



SMARTIE
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 90
Location: Sitting in the Shadows

01 Jan 2009, 9:54 am

I dont actively avoid friendships but do keep myself to myself a lot. I think its a mixture of being taken advantage of when I was younger by so called friends and fear of having to start and maintain conversation with others.

I do have a small circle of close friends, and am starting to make friendships in my new job so im getting there slowly at 31 :wink:


_________________
Is it better to let people assume you are stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt??


b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

01 Jan 2009, 10:13 am

i avoid "friendships" not deliberately.
i just do not see them on my horizon so i never navigate toward them.