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elderwanda
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02 Jan 2009, 9:30 pm

thedarkpassenger wrote:
I get really exhausted from socializing. I was forced to go to a new years party last night, and I felt like every hour I was there, it was times 100 for me. I was completely exhausted by the end of the night and I felt like I had no emotion or energy left in me.

Do these people actually enjoy sitting around a room with loud music and a bunch of strangers, talking about fake things and chit chatting about the weather and their careers? Is this some sort of urge or need that people have to fill? I could go the rest of my life without any sort of party or social gathering like that, and I would be just fine. I have not the smallest desire to go out and attend a party of any kind..

Can anyone shine some light on this please?


Sounds like you are not an extrovert.

I'm like you. I get exhausted from that kind of socializing. Loud music stresses me out, especially the types of music that are likely to be played at parties.

Also, the kind of chit chat that is expected at those kinds of parties, where people don't really know each other well, is difficult. People will ask "So, what do you do?" but there is too much noise and distraction to answer the question with more than a word or short phrase. And in that case, what's the point of saying anything at all? You don't get to know each other, since neither person can say anything with any amount of depth.

It's been many years since I did that kind of socializing, and I haven't missed it one iota. Nowadays, socializing is pretty much confined to meeting my best friend for a coffee at Starbucks every couple of months, or when my mother comes over and we talk about movies or something. That kind of socializing doesn't exhaust me, but I don't crave it either.



JoJerome
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02 Jan 2009, 10:06 pm

I find it depends on the people. Office parties can not end soon enough. I end up going out of obligation, but it's nearly all people I feel uncomfortable around and like I have to be on my guard around; coworkers, bosses, etc. Plus, it's usually people I have little or nothing in common with.

With friends though, or even if a friend takes me somewhere where I don't know anyone but they're friends-of-my-friend and therefore we can probably, relate ... I often really enjoy it. So long as I too like the music!

Nightclubs; I haven't been in a while as I've fallen out of touch with most of my clubbing friends. But again, if I'm with people I know, I have a great time. I've tried going on my own ... nightmarishly awkward.

And yes, even if it's a party I enjoy with friends, I usually need some solid downtime to recover, whether hours or days later.

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messygeek
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02 Jan 2009, 10:10 pm

mosez wrote:
On such occations I get dead drunk. That make the impressions pass right through me. If I had to be sober, I'll just leave. Simple as that.


Self-medicating is not a healthy idea.



RustyShackleford
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02 Jan 2009, 10:35 pm

I can relate- In my current job where I work 4 hour shifts but talking to many people I feel more exhausted when I get home than my previous job doing manual work for 12 hr shifts.

On nights out I have usually had to force myself to be there in the first place. I try to do the rounds of people I know with reckless abandon only to burn out completely later on. I have fallen asleep in clubs before and nearly gotten thrown out because I have been taken as comatose. Ever tried explaining you were just having a nap to a highly skeptical bouncer?

I find I reach a cutoff point where I have to leave or get really overwhelmed, upset or cranky. Few of my friends understand when I just leave with no explanation and have often taken offense.



DeLoreanDude
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03 Jan 2009, 9:18 am

According to my mum, it's a normal thing for people not to enjoy work parties (so, yes, NTs dont like them either).



RustyShackleford
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03 Jan 2009, 9:24 am

Agreed. I have had similar conversations about how boring smalltalk is with several NT folks. Seems to be a stamina thing though, some people have much higher tolerances conversation and socialising. I can try and do it up to a point but sometimes I can't do it at all if I can't summon the mood, other times I reach a cutoff point after which I basically just shut down.



gramirez
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03 Jan 2009, 3:25 pm

If I have too much socialization in a day, I usually don't socialize for several days.


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mosez
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04 Jan 2009, 1:53 pm

messygeek wrote:
mosez wrote:
On such occations I get dead drunk. That make the impressions pass right through me. If I had to be sober, I'll just leave. Simple as that.


Self-medicating is not a healthy idea.


I know, I'm working on it, just temporally out of practice. So I have started to attend just small parties. I was joking a bit in my earlier post, but I seriously try to avoid too big gatherings. They really wears me out :D


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