Problems at Jobs, Anyone?

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I VOLUNTEERED at the library for quite some time. I really enjoyed it because my special interest is books and organizing and being around them all day was even better. I was then one day called into the lady's office and told they were going to no longer let me volunteer if I didn't 'improve'.

Her complaints:
- I appeared unfriendly and rude to the employees
- hiding behind my hair and my manner of dressing gave them a 'bad image'.
- apparently I always want to do things 'my way' [I'm terrible with verbal instructions, so when I was doing something improperly despite them explaining it to me several times they simply figured I was doing it on purpose]
- I didn't talk much [need I mention this was a LIBRARY?]

Needless to say I was very upset by this and I could do nothing but cry. I couldn't say a word. I was very tempted to storm out of there and walk somewhere and find a nice quiet corner somewhere and stay for a few hours, but I continued working while I was crying still. I bet THAT left a bad image. I quit going there because it still upsets me thinking about it.

This thread is breaking my heart, because it's the story of my life too.

What the hell is wrong with people that working well is not important at all, what matters is being a cool club member?

Work does not make you free topic

Yeah, like what the sign over a notorious concentration/death camp does not say.

I enjoy the work, but not the creepy coworkers.

I did that too.

In a way it does not surprise me it was at a library; have heard similar stories from people who had quite solitary jobs (eg archivers) and got in trouble for giving off the wrong body language.

Don't worry you're not alone. I have hung onto my job for 9 years, but it hasn't been easy. I've actually requested to be transferred several times (it's a retail chain) using the excuse "I want to try something new and exciting" as my excuse to get out of an environment where I'm treated alien and sometimes very badly because of it. Just not fitting in can make my self esteem very low and give me alot of stress. It's a shame because I know there are so many aspies like us out there, very good at our jobs but no matter what we do or how hard we try we don't quite fit in.

I've gotten an unsatifactory on my job evaluation again, because of poor communication skill and lack of teamwork. I had already given them a note from my doctor that I have AS. My co-workers are also ganging up and harrassing me yet again.

Right there with you.
Made all the more poignant for me right now, because of my very recent awareness of AS.
I answered the top choice in the poll. No doubt about it.

I have worked 9 jobs in my life.
Not like you all need to know this, but it is helpful for me...
Here's a chronological list of each job with the duration worked:

1. Sandwich shop. 2 months. Worked here during a summer in high school. Mostly manual labor, and I was fine with that. Problems occurred when I had to follow multi-step instructions or complicated orders. I preferred mopping the floor or washing dishes. Solitary, repetitive, almost zen-like activity. I eagerly quit when school restarted. I was intimidated by that place.

2. Pizza delivery. 9 years off and on; working there currently. This job has been a blessing and a curse for me. A blessing because the work is simple, schedules are flexible, expectations for social-appropriateness are low, attitudes are generally relaxed, and certain aspects cater to my interests. A curse because the other employees still manage to ostracize me, the mental atmosphere is vulgar and loud, everything is dirty, and the job can occasionally feel demeaning. But I do like driving. It is calming (except when road-rage gets the better of me). I can listen to music, act or speak however I want, and immerse myself in the landscape around me: classifying plants, appreciating forests or gardens, observing and measuring weather fluctuations.... like being a mobile naturalist. I'm still there...

3. Handyman/Groundskeeper. 2 months. I worked for a doctor's office, keeping the building in-repair, mowing the grass, and doing errands and odd-jobs. The last two duties I had no problems with. The first one is what got me fired. Frankly, I'm not sure why they hired me. The thing is, I'm not handy at all. I break things around the house all the time. Building maintenance is something I know virtually nothing about. And after a number of costly mistakes, they let me go.

4. Environmental Activist. 1 day. I was with this group whose main purpose was going door-to-door with petitions/fundraisers for environmental initiatives. They had a great philosophy and organization, and I thought I could do it. After one day of canvassing neighborhoods, I was on the verge of a huge meltdown, and I told them that I was freaking out and there was no way I could do this job. They were baffled, but strained at understanding. I still remember the confused look on their faces when I left. The look said to me, "where the heck did he come from???"

5. Musician. 2 years off and on. I played guitar and bass in a church band. Actually got paid for it, too. It was a great time, because it had nothing to do with the message (which I didn't believe anyways), and everything to do with musicianship. We were a tight group. I'm sad that I can't still be doing this today.

6. Kid's Furniture Salesman. 2 days. HAHAHAHA. Oh my god, this was a joke. I sought after this job with some kind of stupid optimism. It was an abortive failure. After the second day, the manager just told me not to come back.

7. "Team Member" at a big-box store. 2 months. Two things about this job stand out. One is the performance-review I saw just before I left. I glanced at it over the manager's shoulder when I walked in his office. It said, underlined and in bold letters: "KEEP WORKING????" He asked me if I wanted to stay in my job. I said no, and walked out promptly. The other memory is when I was supposed to be organizing shelves in the health/beauty department after the store closed. I had become fixated on some kind of aromatic bath flakes. I was reading the ingredients and had taken off the lid, enjoying the alluring scent, when I suddenly hear over the walkie-talkie intercom: "WHAT ARE WE LOOKING AT?!?!?" .... My whole body froze with a blinding flash of anxiety, but after a few long seconds, I was able to stutter something about being done in ten minutes or so...

8. Elementary School Teacher. 8 months. This was my first real career-oriented job. I had recently graduated from college with a degree in Education. I was eager to make salary with benefits for the first time ever, build up a savings, and start my professional life. Nope. Didn't happen. Well, it did for 8 months, then crashed. After failing miserably at most of the main responsibilities of being a teacher (organizing/communicating/evaluating) I was demoted to a supplementary position in another classroom for the last two months of school, and not asked to return the following year. I am still haunted by some of this. It hurt.

9. Substitute Teacher. 5 months; still doing it. In stark contrast to being a regular classroom teacher, I have had generally positive experiences as a substitute. The difference? The notable absence of the aforementioned responsibilities. Being a substitute allows great freedom and flexibility, and does not require the complicated organization and communication frameworks that being a regular teacher does. It can even be fun, if the whole thing is thought of as theatre, which is how I do it. Each day is a new play.

So currently, I work 7 days a week... substitute-teaching and delivering pizza. I can at least pay the bills, even if there is little extra. I mostly like the work I do. There is basically no potential for failure in these jobs. But I am certainly not happy. Perhaps in a few years I will have the resources to begin to move beyond this present pattern.

Missing an option here in my opinion. There is another category between

B. Often. My job is difficult but I'm hanging in there, sometimes barely.
and
C. Sometimes, but no more often than other people.

I feel like I have more issues than other people, but I don't feel like I'm "barely hanging in there" either. (speaking from the perspective of my most recent job which was a temporary internship).

Issues happen. I deal with them. I learn from them. I move on.

Very much agreed, especially on that latter point. The most frustrating thing in the workplace to me is how I can be among the best at what I do, with a healthy dose of kindness to coworkers and customers and a lot more work ethic than most, but I'm treated like a leper in the dark ages. Meanwhile the ones who are unimaginably rude to the customers and coworkers and couldn't find their ass with both hands much less do their jobs effectively are the teacher's pets.

I've had very, very few employers who rate me primarily on my job skill.



- Jo

How well I know this story! Let's see, only had a couple of jobs longer than a year. I've had lots of them in 40 years, by the way. Probably more than 40.

The jobs that worked out for me....third shift in a bakery where I didn't have to deal with anyone until they made me the supervisor, and then I justs told them what to do and went on to my own work.

Third shift computer operator at a bank. I could wear my pjs and sleep or watch movies all night.

Evenings and weekends at K-Mart in the sporting goods/ automotive department. I worked by myself and stocked shelves.

Teacher's assistant where I worked in the evenings and made copies and teacher's aids. I didn't have to deal with other people much except for the janitor which I actually liked well.

My most recent job is working with kids with disabilities. I like this job better now than I did a year ago. My boss is actually very good with me and deals with my AS without many problems. He actually asked me how to work with me better when he started being our boss. He helps me when I have problems with social crap. He listens when my personal s**t gets out of whack and impedes on my job s**t. I'm good at my job because I can keep track of lots of things in my brain without too much paperwork (because I hate paperwork). I'm good at doing things on the computer. I make forms, spreadsheets, web pages, flyers. I love my computer all of my friends are in here.

Before I found this job I did the annual fall job search. Every fall I was looking for a new job.

Worst jobs? Sales clerk in a retail card shop. I loved doing windows and displays, hated people. This worked into doing window displays at another job. This worked into painting windows for businesses in a job that I made up for myself.

Child Services worker. Good at the paperwork and computer part. Terrible at the getting along with co workers and making all of these important decisions for kids.

Day care director. Great at the day to day business part and making sure everything was in compliance. Bad at dealing with the owner and some of the parents. I got tired of whiny cry baby s**t that wasn't worth whining about.

There were a bunch of others, too, but those are just the ones from the last 5 years. Isn't that scary?

Always I hear the same thing. You don't socialise with others well. You have a hard time understanding office rules. You dress weird. You wear your hair weird. You wear too much antique jewelry (as if this is at all possible?). All of the same things over and over. Then there's the husband...why can't you just get along? Why can't you be like everyone else?

As if I could! I hate losing jobs. I hate looking for jobs. I hate working them sometimes too.

I do well at my current job at the library, where I have worked for 6 1/2 years. Somebody told me I was much more serious about my work than a lot of people there. I believe that's because my job involves collecting materials throughout the whole library and I need to stay focused on my list of items. However, I am not unfriendly and I do talk to people.

The biggest downside to contract/seasonal work is that I can't imagine them ever paying benefits. The upside; I have about 5 employers right now who will likely hire me back for the next contract job/next season. If one falls through, I have others I can try. Not actual temp agencies, but short-term jobs. Currently, I'm working this winter at a ski resort. Low pay but beautiful!! !

Also, you learn to keep a flexible budget. This job pays more than that one but less than this other ... must save for that 3 week lull between jobs ...



Wow - echos of what I hear at most every job! But replace 'too much antique jewelry' with 'weird shoes like moccasins' and replace 'husband' with 'most all of my friends and family.'

Every time I start to wonder if I'm really Aspie I read threads like these and am floored. Up until a couple of years ago, I thought I was the only one on the planet who goes through any of these things!

Best of employment luck to us all...

- Jo

I learned long ago to only wear extremely classical clothes to work; that way they can't ever criticize my way of dressing. I wear what I want on weekends.

I had a casual office job years ago where I was sometimes told I wasn't within 'dress code' even though I know lots of others dressed a lot sloppier than me. So I picked out an outfit and asked, "Is this ok?" They said yes, so that's the only outfit I wore for my remaining 4 years there.

Years later I was reading an article directed towards NTs trying to understand AS and it mentioned, "Wearing the same outfit every day to work." It had never even occurred to me that might be seen as strange! But it might have been one of the reasons they loathed me but wouldn't say why.

I own 5 of each (sweaters, shirts) and I wear 1 each day of the week (randomly).

I am 26, and have already learned to supress the desire to chat with my coworkers because I know that at some point this will only cause trouble for me.
I am still trying to learn to not care about people or what people think of me. I like these people, but have to stay cold or I will be drawn into a world where they crucify my people. I just keep chanting to myself that 'its not my problem, not my problem' .