Female Aspies coping with life alone

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Home alone topic

Hi, Greentea. I just rechecked your other thread in The Haven and I saw your reply to my second post. I would love to go to Israel to see your apartment and to meet you. I wish I had money, but I am living on air right now.

I did not know you had your microwave oven so long. Then it is older and more heavy.

I do not think there is war inside your country where you live. Actually Israel is peaceful and there are only arguments about opinions and the like. I would like it there as I love to argue. Two people, three opinions.

My son comes over if I have a problem. I do not have a car, so I am not worried about that. I am handy with basic repairs and I do not panic if the toilet overflows (Just turn off the water valve at the side of the crapper.) Then you can manually flush the s**t with a few pails of water and then let your superintendent/landlord know. I know how to replace fuses and reset breakers and I know where the water shutoff is if I ever had a flood due to a leaking pipe. I have replaced the door locks and added some hardware (a wired doorbell) because the idiot landlord is too cheap but I like the security. Plus I have fixed a poorly fitting door and fixed a wall hole. I have added a shower nozzle because the other one was a piece of junk.

I am waiting for my social housing (rent geared to income) but in the meantime this one will do.

Sometimes there are fix-it courses and of course books on home repairs/ideas found at the library. Hope this helps.

Thanks, Sue.

Even though AS was hardly known (and I was undiagnosed) as a kid and my parents would have denied it and tried to shame me out of my odd behavior anyway... They also paid close attention to raising me to be independent, self-sufficient and especially aware of sexism; did a good job of bracing me for it without turning me into a rabid everything-is-men's-fault type. That said:

Heavy lifting: I've always endeavored to be in good shape and able to do my own heavy lifting. Saw Mom's weight issues and how they affected her ability to do for herself. Plus I always had this weird standard as a child for everything in my life: "What if the evil aliens come or there's a nuclear holocaust? I see the movies; whatever I'm wearing now is what I'll be wearing for the rest of the adventure, so it had better be comfortable and easy to run in." And it always annoyed me how the girl in the film can't do a thing unless a man is around to do it for her.

Really heavy lifting: Helps that I don't own a lot - few things that need lifting. The current biggest issue; putting the motorcycle on the RV lift is a 2-person job no matter how strong you are. I find sitting next to the 2 with a cardboard sign, "Help me load/unload my bike?" works fantastic. Few guys can resist the temptation to handle a motorcycle!

World outside: Shotokan Karate, Ki-Aikido. The idea is not so much to train for a fight, but train how to avoid the fight to begin with, how to make myself less desirable of a victim-target.

Car mechanics: Have learned some for myself. Otherwise, I strongly prefer the backyard mechanic who works out of his/her own garage. Less overhead, so they can charge less, and their only affordable advertisement is word-of-mouth, so they're less likely to rip you off. Just make sure they're legit. E.g.; the mechanic I just found on CraigsList is indeed listed in the yellow pages - same email and phone listed on CraigsList.

Men: Wow - whole other thread.

Prejudice: I'm in IT so yes, I get my fair share of it. But see above re; Mom and Dad training me well.

- Jo

They're kind of notorious around here, Midas is. I told the guy to just fix the freaking brakes and they tried to do the "we can't do that, we can't let you drive out with those struts like that, it's a liability hazard" so I said, fine, either produce a liability wavier form or I'm calling the police.

They fixed the brakes. There was nothing wrong with the struts and I knew it.

I now have a mechanic who works on people's cars on the side, his day job is as a fleet mechanic. He's honest as can be, and we do business on a handshake. I leave the key under the mat, he comes over and fixes the car while I'm away at work, and leaves me info on how much it cost and what was wrong on the answering machine. I send him a check. Been doing business like this for almost 10 years now and he's never cheated me once.

To the OP - For years I made sure I owned nothing I could not move on my own - it either had to be small and light enough, or be something that I could disassemble and move myself. It's doable, you just have to plan ahead.

On the person who posted about moving the fridge, block and tackle works great if you're dealing with stairs. As long as you have something you can hook it up to. Or put a quilt down and put the fridge on it's side, use ropes to stabilize it. I got a full-sized fridge up a stairs that way (shoving it while it was on its side on a quilt), once, when the kid was a baby. Hard, hard work, but I got it there.

Basically, if you know you have to do it yourself, make sure what you have to do is doable. They make really small microwaves, really light ones, these days... or do without one. You make the adjustments you have to make. It works out ok.

I fervently disagree with this assertion on so many levels. A shy male is a social leper that is reviled by both sexes. A recent article in the Careers section of the Globe and Mail (a Canadian national daily newspaper) was discussing promotable traits in the genders and here's how it broke down, from most desirable to least: aggressive male, aggressive female, passive female, passive male. Shy males are the least desirable, less so than women, and do you once hear about their plight? No. Shy males are the untouchable class of the Western world.

While I sympathize with your difficulties, shy males have it way worse. *dons asbestos suit*

Take it from someone who knows. It's better to take your car to the dealer than waste time on those silly Midases and other garages that do half ass jobs. Take it to the dealer.

This is not a perfect solution, but for the ladies living in the USA who are looking for an auto mechanic, go to this web-site
http://www.cartalk.com/index.html
Scroll down to the bottom of the page, and on your right-hand side you will see box where you can enter your ZIP code and search for mechanics in your area that other people have used and left reviews on.

Last edited by Logan5 on 18 Jan 2009, 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Same here. I am trying to get independent again and I cant wait to get back on my own.

WOW, you girls rock! And here I was, thinking I was the only one facing the challenges alone, stubbornly refusing to marry a good-for-nothing just for the illusion of having a man in the house to take care of the "manly" stuff.

You've changed my outlook and attitude to being a woman alone and for that, dear WP women, I thank you!