Books that condescend to Aspies/discriminate against us

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Maybe I used the wrong word. I don't tend to get offended, or insulted in the general meaning of the words. It just annoyed me how wrong the stuff written was. I put it down to maybe I was just a different ASer. But looking at this thread, maybe it's not just me.

I think the only book or artical I ever read/glanced at before throwing my hands up was the Jenny McCarthy artical...it made me want to scream.

I really liked this book, because at first I didn't know there was something wrong with the protagonist except on 2 occasions. Having a special interest about maths and getting physically sick during an emotional drama stroke me as totally ridiculous at the time I read it.

I thought it was a pretty accurate presentation of a kid with AS. It reminded me of myself when I was 2-3 years younger than Christopher.

Louder Than Words, by Jenny McCarthy. It contained the usual amount of filthy language she typically uses in her books.

I thought "The Curious Incident" was a bit too stereotypical a description of a person with AS. I couldn't identify with the lead character at all.

"You're Going to Love This Kid," about educating a child with autism. I think they tried to jump through way too many hoops to eliminate competition from schools altogether. They also stress group learning. I hated that stuff growing up. All of those things that they suggest to make the life of someone with AS easier would have driven me crazy.

For me, the problem is that when you take a shower, there are a lot of things you must do. Make sure your towel is handy. Take your clothes off. Make sure you have clean clothes available for after. Start the shower. Check the water temp. Then there's washing your hair and the various parts of your body (this alone could stymie me). It would just feel overwhelming and like I didn't know where to start. The task just seemed too big. I know now more about executive dysfunction than I did when I was younger, and I think if I had had a list of showering tasks broken down for me, that it would have made a big difference.

Hmm. The way I saw the hygene stereotype in girl Aspies was not so much about washing up and wearing deodorant (expected of everyone), but more about the secondary hygene rules (clothes and hair) that are more often placed on girls, especially by other girls.

I know that hygene is technically about bodily cleanliness relative to culture, but the perception also has alot to do with how manicured a person is. Because expectations are generally alot more relaxed for guys, that would explain why people think it's specifically female Aspies who have the problem.

Of course there could also be sensory issues involved with shaving for a handful of Aspies. If a guy has a sensory problem with shaving, he grows a beard, and as long as he keeps it trimmed he's good. However if a female has that same problem, even if she's obsessively clean, people will probably think of her as a dirty hippie if she doesn't shave her legs and armpits.

The hygiene thing was in he Oasis Guide too and bothers me. And also in Helping A Child With NLD or AS. Also, The Oasis Guide makes it sound like we're all trying so hard to conform to NT society but we just can't because we're so disabled. I didn't try at all. I didn't want to.

Yes, most of that book is condescending or just ridiculous (like the queen bee chapter), but the chapter "Aspie Do`s and Dont`s" written by Jennifer McIlwee Myers is well worth reading. She has insight and compassion and I found her entry both fun and touching. Frankly that is the only reason why I have kept this book.

According to Christopher Gillberg almost 3/4 of all Aspie teens have unsatisfactory hygiene (won`t shower or wash their hair).
I have also read a claim from some expert (can`t remember who, might be Gillberg) that while DSM clearly states no significant delay in self help skills, his experience when talking to parents of Aspie children/teens is that they had to be pushed into doing these kinds of things.

Well, sure, Aspie's usually have to be pushed into things that disrupt their activities. But that doesn't mean that they CAN'T. That's what is meant by "no delay in self-help skills".

And isn't Chris Gillberg the same psychologist that said that it's people with AS that have 'severe autism', and that people with classical autism just seem more impaired because they're 'all mentally ret*d'?

Funny thing is, in the DSM-IV-TR, it explains that the acquisition of basic skills can be affected in AS. As always, it's the matter of degree and severity. People with Asperger's are intelligent enough to do these things from an early age and in the same way as their peers, it's just that something gets in the way (whether social indifference, executive dysfunction, not enough time due to the repetitive interest, etcetera). With prompting, they can most likely do it; with prompting, the child with Autism probably can't.

The last sentence from the last paragraph from the DSM-IV-TR on Asperger's: