Finding love

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yeah mith - now that i hit the big 1000 i could put up a little quote that was more realistic than the old "veteran."

and the freaky teeth smiley had to go.
Just wait until you see my tics and twitches when i post a vid...then you will really know i am here to corrupt in the most asocial manner possible.

though i spend most of my time alone, and dont feel lonely, i do feel alone through having no friends,a dn especially no partner. i want to marry and have children, but could never share a bedroom, let alone a bed with another person- doubt id even be able to share a house.

this is immensly depressng, and i hate the cage of my autism. i feel so lonely but there is no answer, help, or hope.

well i must say mith i would probably almost definitely corrupt you.
especially as you have the chilli peppers as your signature. You girl, are no slouch.

I wonder what the question was for this thread, and why it was deleted. Anyway, I couldn't agree more with the poster who said that if you see her holding something, show an interest in it. Nothing makes my heart melt more than something about me being (respectfully) noticed...

Would that not be trivialising the matter to a great extent? I talk to plenty of women my age in a day in college, I can't say whether one or any of them are interested in me. Even most men without AS, in seeking women, seem to struggle with that. So I see a pretty big gap between having the social skills to start and maintain a conversation and having the social skills (necessary but not always sufficient) to start a relationship.

#1: Make yourself interesting. If you are not interesting, a girl won't want to get to know you. Do interesting things, be able to make yourself interesting.

#2: Be in love with yourself. I know this is cliche, but it is true. If you can't love yourself, why would anyone else love you?

I guess it's an individual thing. I agree there is a huge gap and in my case the latter is much harder.

I never saw the big deal about going out with someone, the way people go on about it like if they are not always going out with someone and if they are alone then it's this huge terrible thing has always been confusing and has seemed stupid to me.

At your age I thought the same way, even though I was thinking about women, but it wasn't long before I changed my mind.

as for the notion of "love:" I can definitely "love" but whether i can contend at close hand with the complexiites of inter-relating as is required in a relationship ---- i doubt i will ever be able to do that. i really have come to the stark conclusion that this is an impossibility for me. My requirements are somewhat atypical, to say the least.


A more "novel" and individualised approach to the notion of a relationship is probably what i require.....some kind of pairing with parallel universes where there are designated times re getting together --- so the getting together has all the regiment and routine of the way i function best. then, within that particular context i can handle it and be free. BUt there are all these difficulties re sensory processing and dysfunctions that make me seem like a complete fruitcake. and of course my individualism extends to having open relationships as i find the issue of being contained in any way suffocating.

Mostly, i just need to be physically on my own. ...a kind of interior and virtual existence...and the interior and exterior worlds actually fuse together and make me feel complete when i am absorbed in a special interest.

then if i can have some love on the side so i feel partially human and connected..... i will be one very happy litte oddity.

Last edited by millie on 25 Jan 2009, 6:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Well, the topic sounding interesting and it seems like it's the thing which unites everyone in every group in every city and every country of the world, finding someone who will love them and accept them unconditionally.

Luckily, for me, I have found someone but she is very far away, (one more year).

But good luck, with 4 billion women in this world, if you are male, speaking coldheartedly and mathematically you will find someone.

Well, the topic sounding interesting and it seems like it's the thing which unites everyone in every group in every city and every country of the world, finding someone who will love them and accept them unconditionally.

Luckily, for me, I have found someone but she is very far away, (one more year).

But good luck, with 4 billion women in this world, if you are male, speaking coldheartedly and mathematically you will find someone.

#3: Alcohol (among other things) is your friend. Apply liberally to your targets

[just kidding ]

Someone should lock this up, now. I want to take back what I posted, because this is just a private issue.

You might want to let the mods know, in their thread. They will lock it.