I'm bursting with envy

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No need to envy me. I'm a jobless, aimless, uneducated, unpopular, sexless, childless, dateless, posessionless, worthless, bum. How's that?

Greentea,

There is a movie called "Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank"!

I agree with NQ, join a theatre group! That's where I found people like me, by taking a drama course at university (not necessarily homosexual (I'm hetero), alternative).

well for me that would be totally out of the question. My AS would prevent that. there is NO WAY i could cope with that. absolutely no way.
Wow - you can handle that, sunshower, and have AS? that is not meant as a derogatory question at all. i am amazed.

If not full of myself, then who, pray tell?

Years ago I thought I'd find people with more similar values if I went to the unconventional places. I tried the circles of the artistic, the intellectual, the mystic, the naturist, the bohemian, the self-seekers. I devoted years to it, only to find the same values and pretense, just dressed different.

i see what you are saying. but here and there i have found gems. i let very few people in to my world. i know hundreds of people through NA and the art scene and most i find thoroughly broig and one dimensional.
it has been very interesting for me the past year. prior to my awareness of AS , i was suicidal and felt so desperate. just terrible. just f*****g awful. I think most people are thoroughly boring. most in the art scene are complete tossers. particularly those who chase the money and stardom side of it which is crap. i have found a small quiet bunch of real, down to earth arts practitioners who are real and incredible people. that does not mean i spend a lot of time with them. not at all. it means i know they are there and i email them and can talk on the phone to them here and there and i know there are definitely decent people in the world. i am glad to have made this discovery, as not everyone is a total tosser.

Really? Well, yeah I feel far more comfortable in that sort of situation than in a general social situation. I tend to be "outgoing AS" in that I am loud mouthed and socially inappropriate. In a drama type social situation, I can act weird and crazy, babble out random stuff, not think too much about correct social cues/body language/blending in and people accept and even like me for it. As far as actual acting goes, I'm not sure how good I am at it, but you can learn a lot of body language and vocal tone as you pick up acting skills.

How would your AS prevent being in a theatre group? Would you be overwhelmed by the social stimuli? Are you shy? (also not meant derogatory, I am curious).

I've always been the odd one out. I've never met anyone like me, or someone who would truly understand me. I get envious of others my age constantly.In my community I have almost nothing in common with anyone. But I've just accepted that i'll probably be alone when it comes to truly understanding myself.

i love hearing about how it is for others with AS. time and again i am amazed at how different we all are. you may have gathered by now i am totally socially inappropriate, sunshower - i have no edit button - so it is not that. it is the intensity of groups i find so overwhelming. i find the group dynamic difficult - and not the notion of theatrics or mimicry or buffoonery. it is also the sensory issues for me which make proximity to people really hard. all those things operate wtihin me par excellence. it is reading the group that i find so overhwhelming. when i was in rehab we did drama and it was hell. i did do it though- otherwise i would have been chucked out of the rehab.

i actually like hearing about other extroverted AS people. not everyone is insular and it is nice to hear that.

it's great you can do that stuff.

The information you have provided is new to me. Thank's for it.
Lisa11

It only has begun to get a bit clearer now that I'm 40 and recently diagnosed with Asperger's- that I have no problem at all "performing" in front of people. That is to say that I'm not being "me", I'm portraying someone else. That is why I seem to do so well as a psuedo-social columnist and entertainment editor: As long as I can adopt the persona of "The Party Guy" it's like I'm playing a part which is essentially a means to an end ($).

But back to the original issue, I was not suggesting that GT find an actual theater group. It was a metaphor: Find people who will honor your unique attributes.

Last edited by NocturnalQuilter on 27 Jan 2009, 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

well...it depends whether you believe in possession or not.

yep, i was a freak at art school, a freak in bohemia. im currently a freak in matters of faith. i just don't have the 'pack' or 'hive' instinct and that shocks people to the core of their being and then they go into 'punish the freak' behaviour.

The one always on the edge, I have tried and tried and over tried and with every one huge step forward seems 10 back, so have to start over... so have found easier just to be me, forget the pack... the isolation often suits, but the black pit keeps forcing me outside of my safe circle... guess lucky I have a family to protect me from the wolves

I was always told the possession is 9/10ths of the law....