Aspergers and looking after yourself

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What Cassandra is saying.

In the last few weeks I've been trying to institute various physical (written) mechanisms to make up for my inability to do it naturally (as it seems everyone else can!). It's worked so far (the last 2 weeks) - I hope it doesn't become overwhelming!!

Here's my plan so far.

Schemas:

Lists. schemas. Things that are either A or not A. I think they call it dichotomous thinking?

Well, I am constructing written schemas of stuff. I already have a "Morning sequence," "evening sequence," "pre-sleep sequence," and am attempting to write a "laundry sequence," and sequences/schemas within the above few, such as "packing bag sequence." When in doubt, I'll consult the basic level of each of these, and if I get stuck doing any of those I'll consult the next level. All schemas are lists. Lists are great.

(NB: Speaking of serial processing: I've realised that I can best clean my desk of confusing different objects by deciding on one X category of items, then, starting at the left and moving towards the right, putting every object either into that X category or into a non-X category.)

The "paper":

1. I have also attached a pen and a (small!) pad of paper to a lanyard that hangs around my neck, so if anyone tells me something I need to remember it will be on my neck.
2. I also have a small notebook in my bag in case the small pad of paper is not enough.
3. Further to that I have started to use google calendars to create long-term schedules of my life (eg when classes and assessments are, when I need to meet with someone), and I've decided that each week I will set aside time to write that week's schedule into my
4. Small paper diary that I can consult if I forget what I have today (so carry around with me, rather than the calendar which is just a bit big - and online)
5. Every morning, as a further extension on the small paper diary, I write out a "programme" of today's activities. This is kinda repeating what was on each day in the paper diary - but it really really helps me to write stuff down, and lets me really prepare for the day, otherwise I'll often just forget it and be surprised when my classmates tell me I missed a meeting.
6. I plan out my free time around that programme. That is, I list every moment I don't have something else to do.
7. Also every morning, I will write a "to-do" list under the programme. These are the things I can look to do during the planned "free time" and tick off during the day when I complete them. I transfer these to tomorrow's to-do list if they aren't finished.

And 8. Main lists are on sheets of refill which I write out in my spare time. I have a plastic case for carrying these lists around with me.

Wonder if it'll work, lol

this

People with ASDs often have executive functioning problems, but it can be rectified by trying harder. It will probably never be perfect, but if you HAVE to do it, then you will do it.

One thing that concerns me is the fact that I've seen parents of young adults with AS put these independant living skills on a pedestal, and act as if only a professional can teach them these skills. As a result, their kids think that it's too hard, and they give up on trying. If they were to simply teach them these skills themselves, then their kids would "get it" a lot faster.

Exactly!

Speaking only for myself - and having grown up in ignorance of AS - I did what I had to do. For as much as everyone knew I was "different" when I was growing up, no one in my life even considered the possibility that I wouldn't be able to succeed on my own.

So I struck out on my own - made some mistakes & had some difficulties, but made a life for myself. I definitely isn't the life that everyone (including myself) expected for me, but a life, nonetheless.

There is nothing special about the skills needed to get by - they can all be learned. I expect that they can all be learned by anyone with AS. As Katie_WPG indicated, these skills are something that parents can teach - no need for professionals to get involved.

I think that this website (& others like it) also help to disseminate those life skills.

A girl around these parts with autism died because her parents didn't prepare food for her; if only she had tried harder. You can only work with what you have, and for many people, trying is no different to failing.

A better and more objective view would be: if you aren't too bad in regards to executive functioning and cognitive development, you may be able to circumvent such via applying intellect to such to build a routine. But if you constantly fail, it's not the fault of your personality, it's the fault of the disorder in question.

I do alright until I become depressed. Then I become useless when it comes to keeping my living space clean. I also become reckless with my finances when I am depressed.

I've lived independently several times in the past, though I keep returning to the 'rents house. Not because of mess-ups, thank goodness, but mostly because I tend to get depressed and progressively more disorganized without having someone around to give me a reality check.

My GOAL is to get a career and get my own place. Hopefully this time, I can succeed.

My problem is not so much lack of motivation as it is inability to grasp what sort of social cues to seek out in getting ahead. Mostly, when I'm at a job, I work very hard and get absolutely nowhere. No promotions, no new projects...just...overlooked. So in 15 years of working in various professions, I'm no further ahead than when I began. Where's this 'ladder' people talk about?

I have the same problem, and so does my aspergers father. It drives my mother nuts. It's going to make moving to another town a nightmare if I want to do that.

Some of the problem with me is that i've got terrible organisation skills anyway, and i've never had to do it, mum always thought I can't cope with stuff.

I have trouble getting organized to a bit. I go to camp for almost a week every summer. I do fine. But to live independently to a little point scares me. My mom said I am going to end up bringing her to college. I plan that after medical build a big log cabin and seperate areas for everyone and combine some parts. My whole fam is going to live with me.