How do you introduce the fact that you have AS?

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sunshower
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18 Feb 2009, 5:48 pm

I say I have Aspergers Syndrome. And then after their inevitable reply; "What's that?", I say that it's a mild form of autism. Then, in some cases, after their reply; "What's that?" I attempt to explain the symptoms of AS and fail miserably.


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AmberEyes
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18 Feb 2009, 6:01 pm

Actually, thinking about it.

I think that others and myself have been going about this telling business all the wrong way.

If I was to only include the positive aspects and omit the negative aspects perhaps people would be more receptive.

I think that I'm high functioning enough to rough some of the social bits.

If I told the truth i.e.

That I had an inquiring mind, was polite, punctual, reliable, good with systems/memorisation skills, helpful, imaginative, creative, humourous, determined and had a keen eye for detail.

Maybe I wouldn't get so many negative reactions if I just left the AS label out of the equation altogether.

Maybe if I downplayed some of the social difficulties and just said I was a little shy and a little nervous with crowds sometimes perhaps I'd just about get away with it.

I wouldn't exactly be lying.



AmberEyes
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18 Feb 2009, 6:01 pm

Actually, thinking about it.

I think that others and myself have been going about this telling business all the wrong way.

If I was to only include the positive aspects and omit the negative aspects perhaps people would be more receptive.

I think that I'm high functioning enough to rough some of the social bits.

If I told the truth i.e.

That I had an inquiring mind, was polite, punctual, reliable, good with systems/memorisation skills, helpful, imaginative, creative, humourous, determined and had a keen eye for detail.

Maybe I wouldn't get so many negative reactions if I just left the AS label out of the equation altogether.

Maybe if I downplayed some of the social difficulties and just said I was a little shy and a little nervous with crowds sometimes perhaps I'd just about get away with it.

I wouldn't exactly be lying.



Flismflop
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18 Feb 2009, 6:30 pm

AmberEyes wrote:
Actually, thinking about it.

I think that others and myself have been going about this telling business all the wrong way.

If I was to only include the positive aspects and omit the negative aspects perhaps people would be more receptive.

I think that I'm high functioning enough to rough some of the social bits.

If I told the truth i.e.

That I had an inquiring mind, was polite, punctual, reliable, good with systems/memorisation skills, helpful, imaginative, creative, humourous, determined and had a keen eye for detail.

Maybe I wouldn't get so many negative reactions if I just left the AS label out of the equation altogether.

Maybe if I downplayed some of the social difficulties and just said I was a little shy and a little nervous with crowds sometimes perhaps I'd just about get away with it.

I wouldn't exactly be lying.

That's the way I would present it to the unknowing. People who recognise themselves from that combination of terminology can then start connecting with you more directly. Others will see you as someone they'd like to be friends with, as opposed to someone with extra challenges.

I mostly just downplay the detriments rather than sell the positives, since the purpose is usually either to avoid something specific that I know I won't be comfortable with or, to explain why I chose something different than the expected.


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lovecholie
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18 Feb 2009, 6:38 pm

I just say that I'm weird. But that's because I haven't been diagnosed (yet). They usually agree.

It is interesting to hear what other people say when I am self-deprecating and constantly point out my flaws. Some say eccentric, others say quirky, some just think I'm weird or absentminded, sometimes creepy. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't immediately think, autistic.

I am still debating on diagnosis. I also don't have money. If it happens, I don't know how I would tell people... I don't think I would at all. Is that bad?



18 Feb 2009, 6:46 pm

I don't tell people I have it. Even if I over hear someone bringing it up or someone decides to bring it up to me in a discussion. The last person I have told I have AS was my boyfriend. He told him his disabilities, I felt I should share mine. He didn't judge me so I guess it was a good test I did to see what kind of person he is. I even had him do the aspie test to see what he score.

When he met me, he could tell I had it but the first day we met, not really. He doesn't know much about AS TBH. He only knows about it through me but doesn't pay attention to what symptoms I'm having. He doesn't pick bones with my behavior.



mechanima
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18 Feb 2009, 9:49 pm

I tell people I have AS round about the time I tell them my name...I'm quite casual about it...something like:

"Incidentally, I have Asperger Syndrome, so if I seem a little odd that is probably why" then I explain more if they ask, and try to give them a concise account of how it may affect their particular dealings with me...

It works for me...but, to be honest, I have lately realised that my entire social life consists of skillfully evading all forms of ongoing relationships (because even the most mundane and informal kind turn me into a gibbering wreck and cost me most of my functionality), it might not work so well for someone who is less "isolationist"?

M.



Odd_Duck
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18 Feb 2009, 10:09 pm

Lately, I've been disclosing it with: "I am autistic. Specifically, I have Asperger's Syndrome." What I say next pretty much depends on who I'm disclosing to, and why. With my Chief Engineer at work recently, I didn't need to say much more, since he knew what it was. The conversation was focused on how and when to handle disclosures at work. (kind of off topic, but what he said was really funny, I thought: "Well, consider what you're trying to accomplish by disclosing. Presumably you're not looking for empathy." I had a really hard time not laughing.) With family members, it's taken a lot of education and explaining (my Mother was really difficult). With friends, it's been much more relaxed. For the most part, I'm not disclosing casually, but I'm not going to any real effort to hide it either.


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Danielismyname
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18 Feb 2009, 10:43 pm

I don't.

However, my mother tells people (which I like), especially neighbours. Since I don't interact with them, wave to them, acknowledge their existence, etcetera, if something were to go wrong on this street, who do you think would be the first person people would look at? Daniel, that asocial person who is weird.

She's told them that it's nothing personal that I'm aloof, it's just autism.

They understand then.



Nim
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18 Feb 2009, 11:12 pm

Last time I mentioned it was to my step mother. So now they openly say it to everyone. Its like, a bad word in general. Not for the puns but just for the broad spectrum it covers. Everything from savants to jerks.

I explain problems. Like today I had to tell a guy that when he talks I can't understand him because I'm hearing split syllables and peicing together the words and context by guessing. He didn't even understand tho. Lol. Why try?



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19 Feb 2009, 12:20 am

if its no ones business, i say nothing


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SpongeBobRocksMao
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23 Feb 2009, 12:49 pm

I usually say I'm autistic, it seems easier than telling someone I have Asperger's, mainly because their reaction will be "what's that?"


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