Are there any independent aspies here?

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I am fully capable of taking care of myself.

I also care for my dog and my husband *rolls eyes* actually I don't do much for him anymore but I used to do everything.

i can now manange my own money.
i can now drive a car.

i could not do any of these things until my late 30's and early 40's.
i do not hold down a normal job or live by any routine excet the one generated by my special interests. i've made some money out of my special interest in the past but at present it is not happening (due to recession and just being f****d, of late.)

i cannot work or study. it is not the work or the actual study that is the problem. it is the sensory issues, the people and the having to get out there and cope wiht too much that is the problem.

i suppose i am not that high functioning.

i can clean myself, organise my clothes etc. not a problem there.

I got my driver's permit at 16 (after acing the written exam), and got my license at 17 - would have been a bit sooner, but grades were a bit lacking at that time (my parents wouldn't let me take my road test until I got them up.)

I have been employed in some way, shape, or form since the age of 17. In fact, I got my first job to pay off a speeding ticket two months after getting my license. The longest gap I've since had in employment is six weeks.

I can do all of my own housework - when I choose to. In fact, my friends have told me I'm actually a very good cook, and I was usually the one on Sunday laundry detail in my marriage. Live out of my laundry baskets now, but I think that's mainly due to my own lack of motivation to put the clothes away. I also take care of a cat and a dog - they are my four-legged children, and even when I was sometimes going with my belly growling, I did what I had to do to make sure they didn't.

I was with my wife for 8-1/2 years (married for 7 of them). Those who knew us both in many ways considered me to be the mature party in the relationship.

I still get a little jittery in social environments where I don't know anybody, but not cripplingly. This is mainly do to "sink or swim" type situations on the job and in school, which I recently finished (expecting my actual "sheepskin" any day now). If all goes well, I will be starting graduate school within 12-18 months. Socially speaking, I am changing the company I keep to include those with whom I know I will share a common interest.

Money management issues I have had recently is mainly due to my own lack of self-restraint and trying to be something I'm not - like "normal" or a "big shot". No longer having bar tabs I will say went a long way towards getting out the hole I dug myself last year. And eating at home as well.

So, all in all, I would say I've done OK.

Ah, but you miss the pertinent points in the DSM-IV-TR:

Cohen describes this for adults/teenagers as, either no peer relations (friends/relationships), no job (constantly getting fired fits too) and/or the inability to study. You must have one of these to be diagnosed. If not, it goes to PDD-NOS.

And also from the DSM-IV-TR on Asperger's:


What you quoted at the start is compared to children with Autism of the same age; the age-appropriate self-help skills aren't meant for adults, it's meant for comparing children to children. Since those with Asperger's are pretty much adult-children (developmental disorder...), they will start to lag behind the older they get compared to their peers, and this is backed up by outcome studies. Someone may have the intelligence to do something, but it doesn't mean they have the ability to do it; it's talking about cognitive development, not ability.

i've been cooking for myself, laundry, all the financial stuff - i have a seperate computer for banks/loans/etc, when i was not in school, i spent my childhood alone in an apartment with a dog from morning to 9pm. i know NTs who cannot manage these things. lol. i've never been late for work in three years. and only one sick day when i had to study for test.

Not formally diagnosed, but 99% sure I am...

Had one job from 1989 through 2008...same company, although different jobs...
Always managed money very well until I got married...now it's tough because it's seen as a control issue when I attempt to manage all money correctly...
Have lived on my own since I got married the first time about 20 years ago...(divorced in 4 years, lived alone for 4)...

keeping a job is extremely difficult for me, but i go to school and i drive.

i am married, and have two daughters, and my main problem with that is that i get really distant when stress aggravates me, which is a lot lately.

i rely on my mom a lot to help me out with little things. i'm not very good at housework because i'm too obsessive to complete it all the way so i kind of let it go. i'm terrible with money, but i've been kind of limping along there with my husband's help.

i've done alright so far but i don't think it's complete independence. if i didn't have ian to motivate me and help me out i would probably play a lot of silent hill and read medical books all the time. when i was younger, my mom was the one who made sure i got out of bed and ran errands and went to work.

Last edited by 17seconds on 05 Mar 2009, 2:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think you're interpreting the criteria in a highly personal manner. I always understood Asperger's to be capable of independent living, and the majority of people here with that dx are. Including me.

It's not easy and you're usually treated as a 'second class' citizen in work or study but it's possible and most people try it, since they usually need to support themselves.

Same here; I have a job, I own my own business, I have a driver's license, I pay my rent. Basically, here's how you'd pick up I'm autistic: I'm "quirky", have lousy social skills, virtually never make eye contact, trying to control intense anxiety, don't talk much, show little emotion, and...the list goes on.

I live on my own, I've almost been working at my current job for a year, now. I volunteer and I hope to start my own business, selling my crafty wool creations. I do my own shopping, pay my own bills and I'm able to budget quite well. I do my own cooking, cleaning and laundry. I can also walk around town, without assistance and I also take public transport without assistance. I'd say that I'm very independent.

As the DSM-IV-TR says:



"Many" doesn't equate to all, but it should represent a sizable portion of individuals with such. However, newer outcome studies don't seem to correlate with this, but this could be for the simple fact of diagnostic confusion.

I dont know how to put this, but is not wanting to drive or not knowing how to drive a car common to as? This is something that never sat correctly with me, and I am much more at home in the passenger seat then the drivers seat.

On to the main question at hand I am a dependent, living at home and depending very greatly on the 2 amazing friends i do have.

The problem at my end isn't WORKING so much as GETTING a (decent) job.

My level of Executive Function impairment makes it particularly difficult to both work at a scut job that barely pays the bills AND look for Professional level employment at the same time.

Been spinning those wheels for the past 8 years...

I'm "very likely an Aspie" according to the Aspie Quiz etc, but not officially DXed.

Jobs:
Outwardly, no sign of any problem except for constant whinging about it being scary, boring, humiliating, repressive, "imprisoning," uncomfortable, etc. Also took a fiscally insane decision to leave a secure job after 18 years to try and make a fist of it in the worker co-operative sector, which failed, and am currently contemplating financial suicide again after a further 18 years in my current job, because of one particular aspect of it that feels particularly horrible and indeed may end in my dismissal because I can't freaking do it and the management are ratcheting up the expectations as if I were a perfect robot. The plan, should I choose to execute it, is to grub about on my savings for the next 9 years until I reach pensionable age. That's barely realistic as my savings divided by 9 years won't pay the bills, unless I go very frugal and/or supplement it with a bit of casual labour or business here and there, and I'm not optimistic of my aptitudes and attitudes in that respect. Barely missed a day's work in my life, I'm ashamed to say. Nobody else seems to have anything like the angst I have over the world of work. My body works, my soul screams for liberty and very occasionally gets heard.

Money:
I've generally been prudent with it, though as I have strong instinct for frugality and the modal salary has always been there, I've never really been tested in crisis money management, which I guess is a way of life for a lot of people. Nobody should have to both work hard and be poor at the same time in a wealthy economy such as the UK or USA. I can barely be arsed to pay the bills, and am often late, but not by much and it always gets done without it going to court, the money's always been there. So, no superficial problem once again, though there's evidence of a weird approach and no doubt I'm losing money hand over fist compared to a successful bread-head. My wife has proven rather expensive so far, though I always thought my job was secure so I can't say I was terribly unwise to supplement her money when she was struggling.

Driving:
It took me 3 attempts to pass my test, and I'm sure it was only the frequent practice and good coaching I received that got me through the third time. When I drove, I drove competently for the most part, though there are many roads and conditions I wouldn't dare launch myself into without some serious scrutiny. I did a few rather impulsive things but my license remains clean, mostly because I know my limits and always took extra care.

Taking care of myself:
I lived alone for several years and came to no harm, things got quite untidy from time to time but the essentials were always pretty much in place. Basic health and hygeine were never a problem, as judged by the fact that I'm still walking about and no less fit and healthy than I've ever been.

Summary: no problems on the surface of it, but probe deeper and it's hard to tell - could be that I'm just too perfectionist and worry too much about insignificant risks and mistakes, or maybe the pain and fear is realistic and points to potentially serious problems with these areas, and I'm just too stoical to let it show in my everyday life.

Yeah, quite. I have my own house, a licence and a car and hold on to jobs. My former job engagement lasted for 20 years. I got a new job in 2001 and counting.., no troubles. But I'm bad with bills. Sometimes they get the best of me, so in order to straighten things out, i sometimes call in sick to to work just on that for a whole day

I made this poll (AS and age-appropriate development) some time ago - so there ought to be at least those 9 people with AS if not more than that.