Does it feel this way to anyone?

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NTs are ALWAYS expecting me to read their minds, and when I try I get it completely wrong. In another thread, I summed up this feeling by saying, "We think we can sing along, and then they change the words."

A lot of the time when I ask my mum to explain some weird aspect of NT society, she gets pissed off at me, like she thinks I'm just being deliberately contrary.

Gina, you can't read minds. The truth is NTs cannot read minds either. NTs just make presumptions. Gina, no matter what your mother says you can't be something you are not. Your mother expects you to mind read which is really making presumptions. Personally, I think it's stupid and f*****g BS.

Check this out. When I am carrying my jacket or coat, I'm supposed to carry it in a certain way. Apparently, it's an unstated and unwritten rule that I'm supposed to carry it this certain way. In all of this time, I never knew this. I never knew it was an inherent requirement. If I don't carry it this way, she said "I carry it like a little kid."

My fiance told me this and I said "that's silly." Why does it matter how I carry my jacket or coat? My fiance became annoyed. All I was doing though was asking a simple question. I do not get the logic behind this. To me, carrying in different ways helps me to carry other stuff I may need to carry.

She's probably saying that I come across as a ret*d in a nice way. I'm just guessing though. I could be wrong.


Here is another silly thing. My fiance's friends went to celebrate the win by Obama, our president. My fiance's friends became angry at each other and argued with each other over "f*****g DRESSES." My fiance's friends wanted to match dresses with each and they were arguing which dress they should wear. I'm saying to myself after hearing all of this through my fiance's phone "WTF." This is so trivial. Should not the point be celebrating that Obama won and to be happy in each other's company and making merriment with each other? Can anyone explain the logic behind this? I do not get this at all. Why are they fighting over so trivial?

Why is it when I ask these kinds of questions I am considered an a**hole for doing so?

I especially want to hear it from the women on here. Maybe the women on here can enlighten me on this.

Gina, do you witness this kind of behavior in your school?

Spokane_Girl, did you witness this?

NT women make me to take a whole lot of xanax to keep me calm.

I think it's because NTs know this stuff automatically, and they assume that because we ask, we are just asking silly questions for the sake of it. Empathy my ass; they can never understand that just because they know things, others may not.

I agree with what you say about NTs fussing over how you carry your jacket and other trivial things. I really don't get why it seriously matters in the slightest. How can there be a right or a wrong way to carry a jacket?! Totally illogical.

I used to think that way too. It was very hard trying to keep only the kindest purest thoughts in my mind. Whew! Glad I grew out of that.

when i am a guest at my aunt's house, she always say "oh, jeff do not leave. stay for a little while more. drink some tea with us" and so on, but what she really means is that you've been here long enough and we would like some privacy. or if someone is going on a trip and they invite me and insist that i go when they actually do not want me around.. i tell you it's totally confusing for an aspie..

No I just assume they meant what they said. If I don't understand, I ask. I also ask stupid questions to make sure I understand. Back when I worked swing shift, my office clerk used to assume I didn't listen because he would say "What did I just say?" "What did I just tell you?" so it was as if I wasn't allowed to clarify or make sure I understood him and he meant what he exactly meant.

At least you know she means the opposite. How did you figure that one out? Same as about the trip thing?

I had crap in high school if that's what you meant. Kids get mad at me for no reason and get mad at me when I try to care about them and then they tell me to mind my own business and go away. So I figured they didn't want me to care so I ignored them and then they tell me I don't care about anyone so I pointed out to them I did care but they were always telling me to mind my own business and then they told me to just drop it. I couldn't understand what their problem was and my mother told me they said that because they knew I was right but my shrink had a different perspective. He said I was being defensive and people don't generally ask other people what's wrong and all when they aren't friends with them. I told him kids do that to me all the time so why can't I do the same?

It is all confusing. What my shrink said what people don't do but yet I saw them doing it to me and they weren't even my friends. they were just being caring and sensitive but when I do it, I get pushed away. No one wanted my empathy or care. Then they say I don't care about anyone.

Then they don't even bother to explain to me, but instead they say "Just drop it."
Maybe they realized they were idiots for their actions and they didn't want to admit it so they ran away from it by telling me to drop it.

Sure that be fine but your fiancee doesn't seem to be that respective of you from what you have said about her.

Thanks Spokane. Where do I start? The woman is so ad-hoc. There is no routine about her. She moves so fast and I am drained.

First, I cannot pass the interviews for obtaining a job. I do have a bachelors degree in I.T. In fact, it took me 2 months after I graduated to even figure out what the title of the position I was applying for. I was a programmer and programmer was not the title.

Second, once I did figure it out the title name all of the positions required:
a. years of experience for the requiring language
b. other required stuff besides the programming language I knew and those required years of experience

This was when my fiance and I first got engaged.

I tried explaining this to my fiance and asking questions and she thought I was making excuses. I figured, ok she was not going to listen to me no matter what I said and no matter what questions I asked. She would say to any question to figure it out myself. I had to do what I hated. I had to blatently lie to her until I could obtain answers for myself which I eventually did.

I hate myself for lying. In fact, I lied to myself for a long time and to her and again I hate myself for it.
I thought I could will myself to believe in God and to believe and understand God through reason and logic. The properties ascribed to God do not make sense to me. The words of the bible and what christains do today do not make sense to me. Christains do the very opposite of what the bible says. I have prayed over the years to God to help me believe and to give me answers but I receive no answer.

My fiance wanted me to do promotions by being a brand ambassador. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brand_ambassador I kept telling her I couldn't do this because:
1. It was too ad-hoc(no routine)
2. I had problems memorizing the sales pitches in a short amount of time required.
3. I had problems talking to the customers so I stood there for long periods doing nothing.

She then wanted me to do mystery shopping. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_shopping Here are my problems with this

1. Again, it's too ad-hoc(no routine)
2. I had major problems memorizing the script and the questions I was supposed to answer to complete the shop
3. Once I was able to obtain the answers I could not remember the answers to most of those questions to be able to record in my car once I left the store.
4. I didn't know how to tell if the sales person made eye contact.

All of this is just a touch of what I'm going through.

One good thing she gave me a lot more data so I could google my symptoms to see exactly what was wrong with me and I knew something was wrong because I never fitted anywhere until I discovered you guys.

I was going to commit suicide on March 28, 2009 which is the day I was born. I was born March 28, 1979 which makes me 29 years old. Another Aspie talked me out of it and I have been exchanging emails with him back and forth ever since 6/24/08. He has helped considerably. He has been through a lot of crap himself.

I have had major other failures with this woman like not being able to clean properly and organize properly. The reason is because I have major executive disfunctions.



On the plus side, I have discovered how to do x/0 where x is not equal to 0. I have an answer to dividing by 0.

I have come up with a new technique that could make anti-virus scanners or any scanning engine scan take a second to scan gigabytes worth of data on a hard drive. I have also discovered something else about why anti-virus scans take so long. This is because the hard drive is the primary hard drive which means a lot of files are in use. Files can be used by only one process or thread at a time

Spokane, this is going to be wierd to you but I am able to put head in the computer's shoes and think like how a computer functions and how programs run. I can come to conclusions quicker when troubleshooting than NTs can. I can think like an algorithic program. In fact, this is the only way I can think. This is why I am having problems with my fiance. There is no pattern to the woman. In fact, with NTs there is no pattern at all. I can't predict them at all.

I have also concluded time is 2-dimensional instead of 1-dimensional. This means there are multiple timelines that co-exist at the same time. Just like we're 3-d spatical dimensional beings. We are 0 dimensional time beings. This means we can only perceive the present. 1-d time beings can perceive the past, present, and future of one timeline at a time. 2-d time beings can perceive multiple timelines at once.

Spokane, I am sorry I am rambling but this is the stuff I have been thinking about and it's hard to do what my fiance wants with these obsessive thoughts in my head like my math proof, time, dimensions.

In addtion, I keep adding numbers together in a series whenever I see them on road signs. I have determined that every other even numbers will produce the odd numbers. I keep doing this while I drive and while my fiance is talking to me and I cannot stop.

I've been told I cannot live by numbers by the aspie man I've been talking too. There is a problem. Patterns and numbers are truly the language I understand if you know what I mean. Again, I am sorry I am rambling.