Do you see yourself as evil?

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I am.

It runs in my family, on my father's side. I'm a sociopath, and the only reason I'm not seen as "bad" is because I also have Autistic Disorder that disables me.

I used to steal from friends often, kill animals for fun/pleasure, and do other less-than-stellar acts when I was at my highest level of functioning before puberty.

I have some good, and that's from my mother's side, and she was the perfect influence on me; I have a code of what I can do and what I can't do [by following her way of life], and I live by that.

...You think that's evil?

(I'm only being half-sarcastic. Of course, society believes it's negative.)

Well, they all tell me that it's not a good thing, and looking at it from my mother's perspective; it's sick.

Once, it probably wasn't anything special; stealing, killing stuff well and cheating [at tests chronically] can easily be seen as parts of survival.

Except for the 'killing animals for fun/pleasure" bit.

Food. A nice winter coat. Sinew for binding stuff. Fat for soap and medicines. These things are survival.

Hello Zyborg,

Are you really evil? As you describe your defense mechanism, I am reminded of Voldemort from the Harry Potter books. He totally dehumanized himself (in response to being rejected and unloved as a child) in an attempt to be powerful. And sure, for a while there, he was one evil dude. His did kill people, and everything he did was for a selfish reason. He had all those toadies cowering around him in fear, and Bellatrix LeStrange slobbering all over him, and people calling him "Dark Lord." But ultimately, he was nothing more than a sad little blob. He didn't even go out with a bang.

You don't really sound truly "evil", if you'll pardon me saying so. You sound calculating, logical and unemotional. But "evil" to me means making a mother choose which of her kids to send to the gas chamber, or some other indescribably cruel thing. You sound like someone who's just fed up with being hurt.

And here you are, reaching out and making connections, in your Zyborg way.

I've actually kind of decided that I think you're alright. For what that's worth, which is probably nothing.

You're right that it's not for survival, but I disagree that it's... evil. That is all I'm going to say.

I think I'm more cynical and angry than evil. I like to think my heart is in the right place though.

Zyborg we all have a dark part of us and we all have a light part of us. Now that being said I know precisely where you are coming from. Darkness can be a powerful fuel. It can distance you from the common rabble of humanity. Evil can feel like an all consuming ecstasy blocking out everything else. It can make you think you are strong. but in the end it is just a defense mechanism. A way to stave off the loneliness the pain of a life as an outcast. Even if someone likes solitudes we still seek some kind of companionship. And what evil finds weak might just be the parts of our selves that we are trying to protect.

The evil might just be a mask to hide a more innocent broken self at least it is for me.
And masks always break under pressure.

No. I see other people as being evil though.

Evil is all just in the heads of people.

Things can be useful and useless depending on circumstances. That's the better good and evil.

i do not feel "good" or "evil".
i do not ascribe levels of virtue to any thing i do .

i do what i feel is "apt", not what i feel is "good".

people with antisocial personality disorder are usually evil in my opinion.
"evil" to me means to delight in the suffering of others, and to cause suffering for pleasure. i have no inclination in that area.

people see me as cold hearted and self absorbed and shallow and disinterested in their pain. it is true i am not interested in their pain because it is not my pain.
that is a sad and fatal flaw in me that makes others decide i am not a nice person at all.
to compound that matter, i sometimes smirk soon after when i realize i have said something unintentionally "callous".

example: a person from rural new zealand was working for us, and he was fired, and he came into the tea room and he said to me "guess what?".
i started guessing and he interrupted me and said "i just lost my job!!".
i said "oh really?", and he became annoyed and said "what do you mean 'oh really' ?!?! how am i ever gonna get another job!?!?". i said "i have no idea", and he said "i'll end up livin' on the f*ckin' streets!! !". i said "ahhh well....that's life in the big smoke".
he called me a d*ckhead and left the room.
then the others looked at me as if i was a lizard. i re-ran what i just said through my mind, and vaguely realized i did not portray a talent for condolence in my response to him, and i smirked for some reason.
the girls just sighed and shook their heads in disgust, and they also left (it was time to get back to work for them anyway).
but i am not evil.
evil is deliberate and cruel.

That's it.

I don't act on the urges I have to kill animals for sheer pleasure nowadays, which said pleasure equates to "feeling alive", rather than the silly "sexual pleasure" many psychologists purvey (Daniel's motto that he learnt: if you kill it, you eat it).

I'm not and never have been sadistic, however. I was indifferent to the pain I inflicted for I didn't [and don't] feel pain, and the killing itself was quick and without incident.

I was cruel, but now..., I seemed to have grown out of it.

When I was in school, I flirted with nazism and stalinism, to emphasise my evilness. Have always appreciated dictators.

I think I'm cunning, machiavellian, and manipulative. I've learned to exploit the rules of the NT system for my own benefit. I've "learned" empathy on a clinical, theoretical level.

Would I use it to do harm?

Well. Sometimes. I told my shrink that I display symptoms of sociopathy and question whether or not I have AS. He says it's just a result of an IQ high enough to learn and exploit social rules.

When I was a child, my parents believed I was "evil", so I naturally thought they must be right. I laughed when I'd done wrong and gotten into trouble, I laughed at my dad when he spanked me, I showed no signs of concern when people close to me passed away, etc. But it turns out I wasn't evil at all, I just didn't know how to properly express my emotions.

First define "evil"...

In realise that I have become such an avid fan of "Dexter" because I identify with him (except for the "blood thing" and it seems to me, that is just personal taste).

I don't hurt innocent people, I would rather die...but frankly, I don't think I give a toss what happens to the others.

Is that being evil?

Or is it just an alternative way of being perfectly ok?

M

Just IMAGINING the "feeding frenzy" when my small flock of personal "webstalkerazzi" find this one!