Why do people use the phrase "Life isn't fair" to

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^ Whatever I can get away with...

maybe it's a question of absolutes...

life isn't ALWAYS fair.

life is SOMETIMES fair,

life is not ALWAYS fair ALL the time

Life is Never not fair ALL of the time

when i play poker, i dont win every hand. this is simply impossible. sometimes i win easy hands i never should have won. other times, i lose really big hands i surley should have won!

but making a big deal about losing, or not getting my way is frivolous and non productive. Instead of concentrating on winning my next hand, im stuck thinking about the big hand i lost. so now, i am losing in the present because i am thinking about the past.

life isnt infinite. it's best to accept a loss and move along to greener pastures.

does any of this make any sense???

Yes, life isn't fair in all things, but once in a while something goes on sale.

My dad has used this phrase. I mean innocent people go to prison, people get fired for unfair reasons, the court doesn't always help and some women lie by saying their guy abused them and the judge will believe them. There are also stupid rules we have to follow and not everything makes sense. Rules don't always make sense either.

I agree, life isn't fair.

I hate all corny and vague phrases. f**k em all. I hate em even more when people say em in response to something that's too complicated and specific to be summed up by em. The only things that make cliche quotes appealing is that they're catchy and give false hope by providing simple solutions to complicated problems.

^^^^^ I SOOOO agree with that sentiment!

If it’s merely said as a matter of fact then yes, there’s no denying that life isn't always fair, but at the same time my immediate mental response to such a trite saying is "no sh*t Sherlock ". I don't see how the proclamation of life's unfairness leads to some grand epiphany, at least not to any intelligent person over the age of 13. I would question any person's motive to use that phrase if they don't intend to come across as insensitive and needlessly patronizing. Seems to go hand-in-hand with "get over it".

As for people who use the phrase as a convenient way to tacitly justify the imposition of inequities on other human beings, well, I think they're asking for a hard smack upside the head. These types need to stop being dicks and learn some compassion.

I'm not sure. Maybe they aren't aware that they are causing their own problems. That's often the case. They are blind to it or in denial about it. Often, they don't want to be held accountable or accept responsibility. Some people will never admit to making a mistake.

I like really these. lol

The Axioms of Life!

Perhaps some people don't have the time or the energy to formulate their own balanced axioms regarding life.

Perhaps some things are out of control and people don't know what to say.

I've actually been doing some reading on how to talk to people who are sad or depressed.

What you never say to them is: "Life's not Fair"

Because it's not emotionally supportive and empathetic.
It's not actually helpful to anybody. It makes people feel a million times worse than they did before. The best thing one can do is listen carefully to the person, comfort them and perhaps suggest practical courses of action that the person could take.

In fact, counsellors undergo lots of training not to say that very phrase...

I actually question the wisdom of anyone who thinks that they can adequately summarise all of life and the universe in one sentence. There are too many components and variables to assess adequately. It's impossible...

You're right. These types get off on arguing with you. If you walk away or ignore them, they either shut up or apologize.

I can relate to this so much!! ! It seems that people use that phrase to appease their own guilt and justify their actions in their own minds.

Because life itself is not fair. Fairness is the result of the work and devotion of people who truly love things like fairness, justice and honour. If you want justice, you have to fight for it. If you want fairness, you have to work for it. Honour takes sacrifice. This is what life is. Fairness doesn't stem from life. Life is a rival male driving you away from your family, raping your wife, and eating your children, and this is something that wild lions actually do on a regular basis.

Things like peace, justice and fairness are constructs that we ourselves design in hopes of making this a better world than one in which some lazy, worthless, destructive brute can win the day by murdering your children and adding your wife to his harem. As much as we complain about things like war, a world where we do not fight with every ounce of heart and soul we have for these ideals would be a world in which men like Adolf Hitler have long since been overthrown by far more cruel tyrants; and those tyrants would be mass murderers who are nonetheless worshipped as gods.

Life is not fair. Humans can be fair, though, if they choose to be.

Last edited by ThisisjusthowItalk on 02 Apr 2009, 10:59 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I was skimming this topic Mikegee and everything you said made alot of sense!! ! For me emotionally it's very empowering I need to start changing my view of the world and be more like you LOL! You have a great outlook!! ! Thanks you just made my day and helped me alot emotionally without even knowing it.

This is my motto (or, at least, one of the big ones):

Life ISN'T fair....get over it.

I know life ISN'T fair...I just want it to be unfair more in my favor.
(Think about it. )

A moment of truth all should come to understand....

Life ISN'T fair. If it was, you would get everything you DESERVE, both good and bad. Next time you don't get something you feel you should have gotten, ask if indeed you really deserved it. If it was a job or a promotion, it hurts. Do you complain when it's something like a speeding ticket?

As a former pastor of mine would say, "Do you want JUSTICE or MERCY?" Justice is getting what you deserve. Mercy is not getting what you deserve.

wow thank you! you just made my week!! !

i'm glad if i was a help for you; i noticed you have "psychology" in your name here. the most interesting point is that my father who drilled "life isnt fair" in my head when i was a kid, was indeed a psychologist, and he also imparted this philosophy to his patients. my father was text book aspergers, though he never spoke of it. I have asperger traits, not diagnosed; neither was my father (that i am aware of; he may have known but chose to not speak of it).

and to touch on the subject if therapists should or should not state this phrase to their patients; my philosophy is this;

at times, people who go to counseling sometimes are too self absorbed and nuerotic (im not making a judgement call here, im simply stating my opinion) therefore they think that since something bad happened to them, they were dealt a bad hand in life, and it was unfair, that life is cruel. many times people do not own up to the responsibility of their circumstances in life. they dont take ownership or responsibility.

it's also much easier to concentrate and focus on the resulting situation than to own up to the situation, empower oneself, and make a decision to accept reality and strive to accept and overcome adversity.

and many times life's unfortunate circumstances are a resuly of people not taking initiative, like, if they are in a bad relationship, they just complain and gripe, and then they blame the other person for their problems, when they have the ability to just get out of a lame relationship and find someone better. and then sometimes they blame the other person in the relationship, when it isnt really a matter of pointing fingers or placing blame, but really just a poor match of individuals.

as you can see i am rambling on; i stop now lol

anyways... thanks again!

have a great day everybody!

ps if ya wanna check out some of my music: myspace.com/mikegeorgemusic

Life isn't "fair", you have to fight/strive to survive. OTOH, sometimes people use the phrase to rationalize stuff that genuinley isn't right.so it depends on the situation.

But what if the object isn't to survive but to be happy with life? I don't think human beings are so simple like other animals. Survival isn't our only drive. Of course mere survival IS the reality for a large part of the world's population that lives in poverty.

It really grates on me that people justify poverty by saying "oh, life isn't fair, those people just have to work harder and pull themselves up by their bootstraps", especially coming from people who had more opportunities just from being born in the right place. If we really don't believe in making the world more equal/fair then we should just throw all social cooperation out the window, get rid of technology and infrastructure, and every one can go live off the land in the woods. If we're not all going all to be survivalists then we have to try to make the world more fair. Otherwise we're going to have groups of p*ssed off people at each others throats for all time. Just because nature is the way it is doesn't mean that we have to accept unfairness and do nothing about it when we could do something about it.

Sorry for going off on a political tangent. This is just a pet peeve of mine.