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Feeling disconnected and like a lone entity

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lyricalillusions
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10 Apr 2009, 4:53 am

I've felt that way my whole life. It's as if me & other people are functioning on a completely different wavelength. Which is true, I guess.


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Jamin
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10 Apr 2009, 10:07 am

Greentea, i think Willard is spot on.

He is not talking determinism of action, I don't think.

He is saying that the connectivity to others is lacking.

In other words: that the connection that would motivate a particular behavior in response to a stimulus - that connection itself is missing. It certainly feels that way experientially; all this trying to pretend I am human, and the enormous energy it takes, and how I wish to simply drop it.

I may be wrong in what Willard intended. I do very much like your analytic thought and methodical reasoned approach.



Greentea
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12 Apr 2009, 1:18 am

Hi Jamin, nice to meet you. I use that approach so as not to fall into fallacies to base my life on. Not that it helps to improve my social life at all, but at least my lonely life is less full with crap to limit my enjoyment of it...


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pensieve
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12 Apr 2009, 3:36 am

autisticstar wrote:
I am wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way. I do have friends that I care about very much and have been dating a wonderful man for a year now. I am a thirty eight year old woman and lately I have had this strange feeling of not being connected to anything. I don't mean this post to be a pity party or a complaint. It is just strange to be feeling like this. I just have this empty feeling of not being a part of anything. Sometimes I wonder if I had a family of my own then I wonder if the feelings of being disconnected would not be quite so strong.

Despite being more self-aware and improving my social skills somewhat there is still an invisible wall up between me and other people. It is difficult to make connections with other people in a way that most people cannot comprehend. So I think I will try to find a way to fill a void in my life that doesn't depend of making a connection with another person. Has anyone found a way to feel fulfilled and somehow connected to something?

Yes, I have felt this way and continue to. I don't feel any close connection with anyone. I had just met some new friends, and although I get along with them quite well I just think when I talk to them and others that I'm not really talking to them. It's like I'm talking to no one. The words come straight out and I make no eye contact. I don't know what others feel when they talk to people but I think there is a barrier in front of me that I fail to break down.
I don't have a boy though. I don't think I should if I can't even feel anything towards my friends.



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12 Apr 2009, 3:42 am

Oh, I just realised - you meant that you actually feel a poverty of connection with people, as opposed to experiencing the physical proximity of others.

Sorry; I misunderstood.

You know I really have to think hard to figure out whether I connect with people. Which is probably a sign that I don't. But it really doesn't bother me. I don't wish for connection.



Jamin
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12 Apr 2009, 1:35 pm

AutisticStar:

Thought of something that helps connected-ness.

About my favorite thing to do is - I feed some birds every day, twice a day. If you do it at the same time of the day, in the same place, move slowly, and never look at them directly, they will begin to wait for you and trust you. It's very healing. Particularly in a war zone.

Today with my mind on other things, I walked past the spot where usually I feed them beneath two trees. I happened to glance back, and several of the sparrows had followed me for some distance and all the way around a corner, looking up at me with a quizzical look: "But don't we get any bread today?" I don't know how it is they recognized me.

I think it does not have to be just people we connect to. And those little birds become connected to us. In many ways, I am more connected to them than to my NT colleagues.


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