Do you exspect others to be....
I tend towards distrust, because of my experiences. I spent 4 years of my life in a relationship where I was constantly taken advantage of. It took her leaving me for a random internet coke head for me to realize what had really happened.
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An Ugly Bag of Mostly Water
Actually, I think I get more frustrated at the lack of logic many NA's (and some Aspies) seem to show. I think this baffles me more than anything. I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work. ![]()
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
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My Science blog, Science Over a Cuppa - http://insolemexumbra.wordpress.com/
My partner's autism science blog, Cortical Chauvinism - http://corticalchauvinism.wordpress.com/
grayson wrote:
This is *so* crucial to me; I have to know I can trust someone's answers. Without that we would never have been able to form the relationship we have. I cannot stand lying, even if it's "little white lies", perhaps especially then. I have nothing to count on if someone will lie to make me feel better ("yes, that looks nice on you"); I can't get answers about the world that way.
Something else I thought of: I guess many people ask "how do I look?" (to keep going with my example) because they secretly want to hear "you look good." But when I ask "how do I look?" I just want to hear the truth. I ask someone whose opinion I trust, so that I know I'm getting a valid answer. I really just want to know if I look normal enough, or am appropriately dressed for the occasion.
If I wanted to hear "you look good," I'd tell the person straight out: "do you think I look good in this? I hope you do" or maybe "I'm feeling insecure and uncomfortable in this outfit, could you reassure me that I look good?" But I don't think that's the way it works in "the real world." That's very frustrating. People are always assuming others want to hear "nice" answers, when all I want is an honest answer. If I can't stand hearing the truth, I just won't ask at that moment.[/quote]
Me too! When I ask a question, I want a direct answer. I feel exactly the way you do about asking somebody if I look okay. What I mean is, will I get weird looks where we're going, NOT do I look fat in this outfit.
Sophist wrote:
Actually, I think I get more frustrated at the lack of logic many NA's (and some Aspies) seem to show. I think this baffles me more than anything. I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work. 
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
Wow. You are certainly too superior for us inferiors to comprehend, then. :p
thepeaguy wrote:
Sophist wrote:
Actually, I think I get more frustrated at the lack of logic many NA's (and some Aspies) seem to show. I think this baffles me more than anything. I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work. 
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
Wow. You are certainly too superior for us inferiors to comprehend, then. :p
Guess so.
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My Science blog, Science Over a Cuppa - http://insolemexumbra.wordpress.com/
My partner's autism science blog, Cortical Chauvinism - http://corticalchauvinism.wordpress.com/
Sophist wrote:
thepeaguy wrote:
Sophist wrote:
Actually, I think I get more frustrated at the lack of logic many NA's (and some Aspies) seem to show. I think this baffles me more than anything. I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work. 
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
Wow. You are certainly too superior for us inferiors to comprehend, then. :p
Guess so.
You enjoy that crown you're wearing stolen from some kid's birthday party at Burger King while I continue to point and laugh at your inflated ego.
Sophist wrote:
I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work.
That's when you have to hold on to your own logicality.
It wouldn't work, so to give in to mere emotion would be irrational.
And in my case, cost me my job.
I keep a small list of gems offered in my optometric consulting room.
Non-sequiturs are very common.
"Are you having any particular problems?"
"I haven't been for some time"
"Have you tried syrup of figs?" (no, I only think that, and variations)
thepeaguy wrote:
Sophist wrote:
thepeaguy wrote:
Sophist wrote:
Actually, I think I get more frustrated at the lack of logic many NA's (and some Aspies) seem to show. I think this baffles me more than anything. I just feel like thwacking some sense into them. Not that this would work. 
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
I don't mind shallowness half as much as illogicity. Not that shallowness doesn't get under my skin, too, though.
Wow. You are certainly too superior for us inferiors to comprehend, then. :p
Guess so.
You enjoy that crown you're wearing stolen from some kid's birthday party at Burger King while I continue to point and laugh at your inflated ego.
Shhhhhhh... Nobody was supposed to notice that... *notices crown is a tad bent and goes off to another BK party to lift another one*
You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a Burger King crown.
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My Science blog, Science Over a Cuppa - http://insolemexumbra.wordpress.com/
My partner's autism science blog, Cortical Chauvinism - http://corticalchauvinism.wordpress.com/
Musical_Lottie
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 656
Location: Bedfordshire, East of England
grayson wrote:
Something else I thought of: I guess many people ask "how do I look?" (to keep going with my example) because they secretly want to hear "you look good." But when I ask "how do I look?" I just want to hear the truth. I ask someone whose opinion I trust, so that I know I'm getting a valid answer. I really just want to know if I look normal enough, or am appropriately dressed for the occasion.
If I wanted to hear "you look good," I'd tell the person straight out: "do you think I look good in this? I hope you do" or maybe "I'm feeling insecure and uncomfortable in this outfit, could you reassure me that I look good?" But I don't think that's the way it works in "the real world." That's very frustrating. People are always assuming others want to hear "nice" answers, when all I want is an honest answer. If I can't stand hearing the truth, I just won't ask at that moment.
If I wanted to hear "you look good," I'd tell the person straight out: "do you think I look good in this? I hope you do" or maybe "I'm feeling insecure and uncomfortable in this outfit, could you reassure me that I look good?" But I don't think that's the way it works in "the real world." That's very frustrating. People are always assuming others want to hear "nice" answers, when all I want is an honest answer. If I can't stand hearing the truth, I just won't ask at that moment.
I'd like to add to that - if someone's going to tell the truth in a roundabout way, I'm highly likely to miss the point of what they're saying. I'd much prefer them to be blunt and say it - I'm thinking specifically of playing music - I ask whether I'm rubbish and they say something which on the surface is nice, but then when I ask someone else what said person meant I foind out that I've completely missed the point. So I'd much prefer just to know. Although I have a slight problem in that I don't take criticism or stark truths very well - it always completely knocks my confidence. But I prefer that than to be oblivious to how rubbish I am!
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Spectrumite ... somewhere.
