AS support group: A Let Down

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I organise and run the local AS group in my area at the moment it is laid back and fairly care free we meet at a restaurant and talk to each other some people tend to talk in small groups depending on how many turn up. At some stage we hope to get a permanent group.

My experience with an Asperger's/Autism social group was quite different than yours. The group is only for high functioning people by the way.

The group was controlled mostly by the moderators. Before the group started I had a great conversation with one of the other members (we'll call him "Jim") and a girl introduced herself to me with a smile.

My conversation with Jim was quite intellectual in nature, we talked about computers, one of his interests. I think when autistics gets together we know how to socialize with one another, it's just neurotypicals we can't understand.

The first part of the group was spend filling out a survey about how the group could better serve us in the future.

Then we watched a music video created by the groups members. Everyone on the video was having fun dancing and goofing around.

At the end of the group, we played scattergories. Everyone had a lot of fun, we smiled and joked about the goofy words we came up with.

I doubt you'll get many people with LFA going to a social group as adults, whether they're allowed to or not (what's up with HFA/AS-only anyway? If they become uncomfortable and start acting weird, they can just leave, the same with HFA/AS-type people, and the undiagnosed people too).

Segregation is bad.

I'm trying not to laugh at the original post.

What should any of us EXPECT at an AS meeting? A group of people who are (in essence) handicapped when it comes to social interaction get together and what is likely to happen? Would we magically get together and have fun because we happen to have something in common? No. We'd still have our problems, only around others just like ourselves.

Online, we come across a lot better because we can choose what we type much better than how we'd act and react in person.

Yes, and we're all in our respective safe environments, without disturbances like background noises. If I'm in a place I know well (like my own home) and without sensory overload, and no one expects me to get mimics and gestics right, I'll pass as neurotypical anytime.

Ha, I'm a total "aspie" on the 'net (pedantic and factual orientated).

There's Daniel [the "aspie"], and there's the autistic tin man; same thoughts, but totally different in social ability.

On the 'net, nobody EVER noticed anything 'different' about me. Of course, it helps that my special interests (art, music, fashion design, okay, and mineralogy and natural sciences, but those can be explained away ) apparently don't differ much from what other people my age are interested in. It's all socially acceptable, so when I'm writing with others with similar interests, there would be no reason for them to think I was strange in any way. I've been writing with others with AS, and they've been VERY surprised to hear I have it myself.
It's only noticeable in person, because I don't get eye contact, facial expressions and gesticualtion, but even then, most chalk it up to me being 'quiet' or 'a bit shy' (though actually I'm not shy at all, and I don't have social phobia). I was popular anyway, because I'm usually the one organizing events and helping everywhere. I never had any trouble making NT friends.
Some people I met on the 'net first and then met them in person and they STILL didn't notice anything was off, until I have to tell them that no, I can't use telephones, so me giving them my number would be sort of pointless, and no, I can't go anywhere by train alone, and no, I can't hold a proper conversation in a noisy room, and I can't read their thoughts, so if they want me to know what they're feeling they have to say it, and would they please NOT give me gifts wrapped in paper with symmetrical structures, because it will keep me busy for hours. (That happened on my birthday...) My NT friends just accept it. Of course, most of them are artists, so I guess they're used to overall weirdness.
I don't have the 'pedantic' thing at all, by the way.

Sounded unpleasant.

I'm nervous about going to a social group for some of those reasons. The idea that everyone will lack even common courtesy is especially bothersome for me. That's one trait I definitely don't possess. I'm never downright rude to anyone and try not to seem as if I'm ignoring anyone even though I'm awkward and shy. People who act like that make me even more anxious, intimidated and awkward, because they seem unfriendly.

But like everyone said, it sounds like your group wasn't organized too well.

Agrees.

a lot of them dont include us because they dont have the staff,am still think the choice should be there though,for those that want it-and have the ability to use it,they would have their own carer/parent/support staff.

in the UK at least [dont know about anywhere else]-where HFAs/aspies have got occasional support groups/social groups,many LFAs have got regular visits to a day centre,they're a bit like social groups, but with a lot more support depending on individual needs,the autism ones are very structured and organised to a routine,lots of activities to do,can go out on visits in their minibuses if are not classed as a risk,was originally told it costs a lot of money per day per person so thats another difference between the two,it gives the autist something to do in their day,and it's like a social group because there can be a lot of autists all over the centre depending when it is,but everyone might be doing their own thing,or doing a class of some sort,some ride trikes in the hall,or play football or basket ball with each other etc.and it all depends on who runs the centre,as council ones are bare minimum and rubbish whereas specialist ones [eg,mencap,NAS] have the money to put better equipment and stuff in.
am recommend checking a day centre out Danielismyname,if would like things to do in the day without the interaction.


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OP,
Why not try and arrange a WP meet up,in local area and see if that is any better.

No, that's just me. (This is an insight, not a funny)

The one I go to is ran at my school, but it's a Social Skills group. It's held every Wednesday, and I think it's compulsory to an extent...(some less social people have to go, while others are strongly encouraged to go).
It's a lot more organized than that. We don't actually have a plan as such, but only one person at a time is allowed to talk.
The leader is presumably NT(I'm pretty sure she was hired by the NHS... it's definitely government funded anyway), and sometimes she'll ask us about a particular topic, like ones about technology(she's asked us about things like how we feel about the massive email database on the government), school, and other topics. Once we spent a whole lunch time talking about religious preferences.
It's more a, 'Social Group' as opposed to as, 'Social Skills Group', because as I've said before, she only tells us what to do in certain situations, like teaching someone bad at maths certain sums...
I think you should find a more organized one xD.
EMZ=]

For those of you who are kind of uncomfortable about such social groups, there are easier ways of meeting high functioning people. There are a few things which are effectively aspie social groups in everything but name only - especially at universities. Coming to think of it, some university departments are in themselves basically an aspie social group and workplace, in particular maths / physics type departments.

Do you end up suffering death by patronisation? I don't think I could stand one of those so called social skills groups...

I agree with you there, I've spent whole of highschool beig patronised. Sometimes I wish I was in junior school again where people just thought I was naughty/rude and left to my own devices.

I normally play rather stupid with the patronising types - basically they ended up being tools in allowing me to get away with loads of stuff rather easily. Still do it now occasionally at university level...

I don't do that usually, if someone lets me off I get really pissed off and tell them to tell me off the same way as everyone else or I get really embarassed. I have had loads of arguments with support staff at school over patronising, they never listen though and still talk to me in that sickly, sweet tone that makes me want to rip my (and their) hair out lol.

I normally ensure that they are not patronising in public - most of the stuff happens in private meetings. Though I am pretty good at persuading people I guess.