proud aspies really anger me

Post Reply New Topic

Which is an example that makes the absurdity of the "cure" mentality for AS very clear, because the immediate response most of us will have to Neuroman's question is "And why on earth would anyone think there should be one anyway?"

Like "What is the cure for being female?"
"What is the cure for being American?"
"What is the cure for being Homo sapiens sapiens?"

All presume there's something wrong, and for most people the above questions are clearly absurd, based on a significantly aberrant perception of reality (compared to the norm). I guess "proud" Aspies feel that the perpection that being AS is somehow "wrong" is absurd. That that perception also happens to be the norm does not make it more valid.

I'm not proud, in the sense that I think being AS is better than not being AS. It's just part of who I am, and I'm happy with the way I am. It makes for some awkward situations, but I don't think that makes me worse or better than other folks. I don't think my lack of social preoccupation makes me worse or better than other folks. I don't think being able to see letters and numbers in color makes me more special. It's just the way I tick. If someone else enjoys chitchat and gossip and whatnot, more power to him. We probably won't become fast friends, but it won't make me feel superior to him -- or inferior.

The world needs a lot more tolerance for diversity. Less fear of the different, more acceptance.

Pride is not relegated to an achievement. Even our own achievements rise out of what we were born with.

And, to be frank, I've never found Aliester Crowley someone whose opinion I thought highly of. Pride cannot stop personal growth provided it isn't extreme. And in the meantime, it's good neurochemicals.

Cynicism and pessimism, on the other hand, can be the greatest killers in the world. How many optimists do you think have commited suicide?

I dont tell people im aspie because im proud of it.the only reaseon i ever mentioned it was when i just began to understand myself..and that "friends might at least acknowledge that i get really uncomfortable sometimes. That the difficulties i had werer the probably cuz of it... I dont try to explain it to anyone.anymore. They probably will never in a whole f;;;;million years get. But I know, and i dont have to beat myself up or think im stupid, a f**k up, a misfit........ Dont have to accept their definition of me. I have told "friends" the one or two i got that its hard for me to be social, to go to a dinner party, to go shopping, etc. Ya know what,,,, it didnt make a flip of difference........ ! !! !! ! And OH MY GOD!! !! try to tell a psychiatrist or psycologist or somebody at Vocational Rehab..... FORGET IT>....... ! ! i been categorized as lazy, unwilling, etc. There is not alot help ( not that ive found anyway) Im angry about it ,wanna slap the fatass shrink s ive talked to....... but know what.?....... Im me, aspie or no . I wish i had a mentor/coach to help me move on. he/she will show up someday... Meantime, IM SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR. ! !

Bland-I agree with alot of what toonaspie has to say. I think that the kind of unreasonable, high-minded pride I have seen is dangerous and arrogant in any situation. No one is really better than anyone else. I am sick of the labels that fly on this web site. NTs? Aspies? I hate that. But I realize you have to identify people somehow. I still cringe at the labels (also at NOMAKEN's avatar!! ! gross!! !) There's no pride in differences, only abilities and the special person that each of us are, if we acknowlege who we are and let God work with us and dont remain a pathetic lump of clay!! On the other hand, I'm tired of the way society so narrowly defines normal. Its kind of ridiculous. That is one major reason why I hated school. (Fat kids in this group..Smart kids over here....Nerds over there...Good-looking ones, here...Jocks, there...and everyone else lumped together on the very, very, outskirts.) My little girl entered public school for the first time in the 4th grade after having been homeschooled all of her life. She did not realize that it was unacceptable to play with the down-syndrome girl on the playground. She has been taught that everyone is created equal and is valuable to God. She was never really able to get past the taint that this caused. The other girls just didnt want to play with her much anymore. So much for "multi-culturalism". I hope that I can make a difference when I'm a special ed. teacher. I've noticed that even adults contribute to this stupid segregated mentality by their barely perceptable disdain for kids who are different.

There will always be people like us people who can see things differently and dont think along standard way. That is part of the survial of the fittest our ability to see things others dont or care to and draw upon that to to push forward otherwise there is stagnation. Everbody does not need to be a very social person ,I am certainly not people person, ants and termites are social too but I don't see any of them posting here. It the differences that make us all NTs too a strong vivable species all we can hope for is more tolerance to be acepted as we are.

Toonaspie, i agree with you, having autism is a defect. Let's let this thread die quickly though it's not nice to tell people the truth when just like everyone else they want to believe they are the full package.

Did you tell the spastic in class that he was ret*d or did you let him carry on believing that he was just like the normal kids? If they get high functioning enough to tell there is a difference between them and most people then just tell them they are special or gifted or something. Failing that just tell them they have a cultural difference and need reccognition. Tell them to be proud of themselves. Leave the depressing reality to be known to the smart people in the world.

Unfortunately, like you i am very perceptive despite my other failings and always try to find the truth without buttering it up so i know im a freak but there is no pint in dwelling on these things too much as it just leads to depression and makes you even less normal than before.

I actually DO agree that we should develop a cure if possible. But leave it up to the aspie individual to decide if they want it or not.

What is the cure for trolling?

true, but its possible to be born with certain potentials and never realise them.



I think in the case of having achieved a goal, or otherwise surprising yourself pleasantgly, the neurochems are great, and serve as an incentive. However, lets take someone whos proud of an accident of birth eg. nationality. I suspect that those feelings are quite distinct from the 'reward' cocktail of neurochems.

I think perhaps most of the aspies who say their proud are perhaps conflating their pride of idiosyncratic achievements with the condition (AS) that made those achievements possible. Then again, im sure that there are some aspies (i hope a minority, and ive no one inparticular in mind) who really mean it, and those are the people who may harbour resentment and bitterness.

This is just a friendly reminder to remind y'all that there are no personal attacks allowed here at WP. If there are any questions, it is all in the TOS. Thanks!

Namiko (as mod)

I don't quite see why the term pride is only properly used in regards to personal achievement. If it happens, it happens, regardless of whether it conforms to what we consider "deserved". Why should I be any less proud of who I am? It's an achievement getting this far.

And in that sense, "achievement" is only a word, an intangible to which we ascribe a definition. I find this a matter of semantics and definitions rather than the result.

There are certainly forms of psychologically healthy and unhealthy pride. But would you actually recommend people to stop being proud and become pessimistic instead? What does it matter whether others deem it deserved or not? If it's good medicine, if it works, why change it?

Then the only problem is discerning what is psychologically healthy and what is not.

Now that business has been done, I can get back to answering what the original intent of the thread was.

Personally, I don't see AS as something that is to be proud of, but I also don't see it as something that is disabling in any way. Yeah, it makes certain things harder, but they aren't impossible by any means.

What I don't want is NTs looking down on me just because I have AS. If that's the case, then they have managed to push aside everything that is good about me and only look at what they think is negative or odd. And if they are like that, frankly they aren't worth the time and effort to be a friend.

AS is part of who I am. It is neither fully negative nor fully positive, but an important part of my personality.

I smell Troll... Nonetheless..

Eamonn do you by any chance go up to people living in poverty and remind them of their financial ailments, and generall rub their situation in their face?

I'm pretty sure the "spastic" (as you call them) person knew very well that they were different, having you come up to them and call them "ret*d" is the same as slicing open their leg with a rusty knife and rubbing salt in the wound.

People like you disgust me...


As for the topic of the thread itself;
Aspergers can be a burden, that much I wholly agree with. But it can also be quite the gift.
But conversly, being normal may seem like a gift, but they have their burdens too.
The grass is greener on the other side, as they say...

I, personally, am proud of who I am today. Go back to when I was younger, when I made social blunder, mistakes, screwed up, said the wrong thing, and generally made an idiot of myself, I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly. What changed? I learned, I adapted. I changed some of the negative things of AS while keeping the positive, though that doesn't mean I'm cured, or that I don't still make an idiot of myself. And I would still rather be the social pariah than the social butterfly...

It guess it comes down to your perspective. What your point of view is...

GA

The main reason that I question whether AS is actually AS is because I can't see how it (comorbid conditions aside) is necessarily, essentially and always a defect, when autism in most other forms apparently is.

At any rate, I am proud to be AS. I'm proud because I've always enjoy my Aspie quirks, they have actually brought me a lot of joy in my life, and they are essential to who I am. I know I have challenges, some pretty big ones to, like having reoccuring depression since I was 8, or having EFD. But when I look at my place in society from a broader prespective, I frankly fail to see how having challenging of the Aspie kind really differ so much from challenges of the NT kind to ipso facto make me the defective one.


Moreover, I don't want to play the victim. Furthermore, people who play the victim really anger me. SO if you despise me, know the feeling is mutual.

And honestly, toonaspie, I believe you are just thinking thinking of yourself. You think any other Aspie must feel like you do. It's myopic, it's self-pitying and it's applying the subjective to the universal, which makes it logically fallacious. I accept that other people may struggle more with AS than I do. I don't assume their claims of pain and disappointments are invalid or based in delusion, like you imply about the pride of someone like me. But all the same, I don't think that we should define who and what we are by exclusively our pain, frustation, disappointments, or challenges. And most importantly, I don't think we should despise ourselves for that either.

Ask Michael Jackson.

But now he has a dozen other problems that he needs to deal with, like AS..

He's got gobs of mullah, maybe he can buy a cure for Aspergers as well.
*or does his lawyers have all the money now*