Male / Female AS traits?

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I agree with this. Girls are urged by society to 'get out and talk'. This could be the reason that females are more social; I wonder if there was a female Aspie who was born under an experiment, and wasn't subjected to the media or any other girl who wasn't an Aspie, if she would grow up to be more social, or just be like a normal male aspie when it came to socializing. This would prove your theory correct/incorrect. But I don't think any such experiment would ever happen. It would be slightly cruel.

I think a lot of girls go undiagnosed/misdiagnosed because of a different expression of autism/Asperger's. It's typical among NT's for girls to develop language faster and become interested more quickly in complex social interactions/games/speech and it might be the same for autistic girls compared to autistic boys. A lot of girls play games that are very "socially-oriented," and merely by having the exposure to the way NT girls interact and play, an autistic girl more aware of different types of social language and interaction. Girls might make an effort to fit in more than boys do in our culture, too; there seems to be more emphasis put on encouraging boys to be ambitious and encouraging girls to be cooperative. Even if an autistic girl looked far from "normal," the way their weirdness expresses itself might not be the type of thing that causes them to be brought in for diagnosis. They might just seem extremely shy, or very sensitive, or "immature." Also, there are huge stereotypes about autism/Asperger's that people buy into that would encourage girls to be undiagnosed. I think girls also perseverate on things that sometimes aren't seen as "autistic" an interest as many autistic boys, and therefore no one thinks it might connect to autism. My best friend has Asperger's and she was always extremely obsessed with horses; an interest in horses is considered a "normal" interest for a girl, but the degree of her interest was highly unusual.

I think it's mostly an issue of more "subtle' expression in many girls, even if they have Asperger's/autism every bit as "severe" and have just as many of the associated difficulties (executive functioning, difficulties understanding communication, etc.)

I don't really agree with that it to Me as a man am very spiritual/religious in the end. I t is truly a personal thing of the individual in the end man or woman.

Though You might find more women that go to Church or something like that but does that make them more spiritual or religious I don't truly know in the end.

The "male/female brain" idea I came across while discovering Asperger's as I was pursuing diagnosis.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... 00005.html

gives a good long article, with some idea why the frequency and expression of AS might be different in males and females.
Under Simon Baron-Cohen's model, I have a very male brain indeed.
Since his tests produce an appreciably different average peak for females, a female shifted "malewards" on the autistic spectrum might not stand out so much in the population at large...

Just possibly less to men and more to women?

I'm not saying that Aspie men can't be just as spiritual as some Aspie women. From my observations of society as a whole, all I am saying is that females do tend to be more spiritual; deep spirituality does require a strain of empathy for the universe and the people in it. While most Aspies do have empathy, and just don't show it (that's why doctors think we are incapable of feeling empathy, which is completely false), Women tend to show empathy to a greater degree than their gender counterparts (males).

There is one thing I would really like to know, though. How do girls do it? Do they learn how to fit in, not stick out, just get along? Y'know, conform to the situation so they are left alone? Is it just a responsive skill they learn? Or did you learn the same thing I have?
For me, the pressure to learn social skills and how to manipulate people and situations came from home. The purpose being to enforce your will upon others, make them respond how you want, and get them in trouble. Mum was the usual tool of choice to inflict punishment, but often you would inflict it yourself. You would act the part required to accomplish it, while hiding yourself. If you couldn't manipulate them back, or if you reacted to their manipulations, you paid the price. It is my greatest regret that one of my brothers couldn't learn to manipulate or handle the price of the game. So now he conforms to society, rather than conforming others. He breaks too easily under the pressure of other peoples' will; he hates us and he hates his life. Too late, I understand the real price of our game. The reward for succeeding is great, but so is the price of failure.
People are not toys in the great game, they aren't pieces to move around for our pleasure, even though it is enjoyable to play. They can be broken, and they can be hurt. It always makes me sad to think of my brother, because we did it to him. So I try to salve my conscience by trying to help him feel better about himself, about his life, and to let him know that people do care about him. Because people have beautiful souls, and people like my brother are the most beautiful people of all. They live in a world not of their making, they refuse to learn the game of manipulation, and they are broken. You might think that describes all autistics, but it doesn't. Most of you aren't broken, you would play the game it's just that you are unable. You don't know what it's really like to submit to another's will. The game hasn't owned you.

I am technically inclined and social events scare and bore me. Personal chitchat (how someone's family is, work is, etc) usually bores me unless it's someone I care about deeply. I have always felt "safer" and more at home with guys than with girls (though that is at least partially attributable to there being so many more guys than girls in technical fields -- I've always been the only, or one of two or three, women in my fields of study and my jobs, so I've had lots more men to relate to on the topics that interest me).

I understand women less well than I understand men. "Normal" women are a puzzle to me. That's not to say I can't superficially fit in with them; I can engage in chitchat in the schoolyard and even make it look like I care . But I always feel like I'm acting. I do it for the sake of general harmony and for my kids (don't want them saddled with a "weird mother").

I am straightforward, direct, and "bold" as women go. I've always approached men I was interested in. I never saw a reason for the gender dichotomy in who should ask whom out. I am not interested in fashion or makeup or how I look.

Don't know if I'm this way because I'm AS, or if I'm this way and happen also to be AS.

hmm. Well it looks to me like there are no defining female traits, at least nothing you could put a finger on. Different levels of socialization perhaps, or at least a genetic tendency towards being better socially.

I need to go back and look up some links and other articles but this is proving interesting.

This was definitely true for me as a young girl. I was bright and an "easy" student (easy for the teacher) and morbidly shy. My problems mainly caused problems for myself, so there was no one desperate to get a diagnosis of anything for me. And of course, there was no "high functioning autism" when I was growing up, just "gifted, nerdy, and shy."


My AS daughter also had the horses interest, and it is indeed a very normal interest for girls around 10 to 12 or 13 years of age. Her difference was that she collected toy horses, drew pictures of horses, and engaged in running monologues about how many horses she had. She didn't have much of an interest in real horses, and she didn't do anything with her toy horses (beyond occasionally lining them up and brushing their manes).

Yes! That is also very very true for me. I tend to find, socially speaking, that I am generally more accepted by males than females. It has always been that way. The greatest exceptions are when I am seen as a "threat" to some NT males manhood, and then the status quo changes.

My uncanny ability to not get along with other females is mostlikely one of the reasons, subconsiouisly, that I wound up enjoying the fire service so much.

Most women see me as a threat because I get along with males so well. I dont play that alpha female game where some one has to be the head "b"..... I have found that women are far less accepting of social differences than men....

Then the exception to the rule comes in to play. Men are more accepting of females as friends that are strange than having a GIRLFRIEND, or romantic intrest that is strange. As soon as some one, even in jest, accuses one of my NT aquaintences of being sweet on me, well, that is the last time they are friendly to me for a long time. There have been a couple exceptions and those are either the ones that ARE sweet on me (and already taken) or the ones that are intelegent enough to see beyond the fooloshenss... I have never understood why that is, that males are teased for having a female friend and then they go away... Is that just an NT thing, or is it with all males?

I havent had any interaction with aspies my age (that I know for sure to be aspies) off line so all I really have to compare with.

I'll third this. I've often had the feeling that I'm just not allowed to be by myself. people just assume that I'd be much happier out socialising with everyone and simply don't believe me when I tell them otherwise. at parties and other such gatherings, I've tried so many times to tell people that I actually enjoy sitting quietly and listening to everyone else talk, but that doesn't get listened to, either - people feel obligated to be constantly dragging me into conversation (then they complain when I don't do so well )

Unico, I went misdiagnosed till my mid twenties because AS is expressed differently in females, and because of medical ignorance in general. I've always read fiction apparently boys with AS don't, that's the stereotype anyway. I was also asked by one very ignorant Dr if I collected train-timetables! When I answered no he finished the consultation!

Yeah, but that's normal if you're out with people who are your friends. They want to make sure you're having fun. That's no different whether you're male or female. It's just the nature of having friends.


I'm surprised how many aspies don't like to read fiction. Most aspies I've talked to hate fiction, and only read non-fiction for facts and stuff. How boring! I love fantasy and sci/fi mixtures in books.

I (male, AS) love good science fiction *. Fiction with ideas to chew over.
Otherwise I turn more to history, but not often to biography. Romances, in the modern sense of the word, are a no-no.


*(and occasionally bad SF, just for a change: try E E Doc Smith).

AS isn't 'expressed differently in females' as that infers that all females are affected in a different way,a lot of us are classically steriotypical when it comes to traits.

Re.Females understanding males better.
I know quite a few females who get along with males better,it also surprises me when they are the steriotypical excessively feminine type.
But on second thought, I don't think it's as simple as stating that females are harder to understand/get along with,because of the differences between feminine/masculine orientated brains so some will be easier to get along with than others,the only friend I ever had [since infant school and still see her now] is female,but,she isn't the steriotypical excessively feminine type-she doesn't look at things in a male or female way and wears sports clothes,she doesn't gossip or say nasty things about people when they aren't there to defend themselves.


Any age should be normal for horse enthusiasts/obsessionists IMHO,probably not a good one for the parents though hearing,"can I have a horse" for the millionth time.

pardon me...