I desperately, desperately wish I were neurotypical.

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When I was younger, before I self-diagnosed myself with AS, I thought that perhaps I was a horrible person, as in all the classes I was in at school, after a couple of weeks everyone would dislike me, however, a few years later, I relised I had AS, and noticed how annoying most of them were, and that almost every fashion they had I disliked, especially the stupid stupid stupid thing of "going out" which in my school equates to walking to lessons together and gossiping an inordinate amount, yet they call ME odd, for not practicing this. I HATE their culture, "what they do after school: go out get drunk, do something anti-social" it's not just me who's like this, most my friends (who are all Asperges) think that these trends are strange aswell. I think AS is not an impediment, but gift to some degree. ( in most cases)

I never tried "wholeheartedly" because I never was intrested in school or work. Even before the diagnosis.
I don't feel obliged to join the rat race.

I've been where you are. I think you can make it. Like Sora and others have said, it involves doing things differently and figuring out different strategies. I went through hell, hovering near failure for years, but eventually I was actually making it. I'm starting to believe I would have continued to have made it if other factors--others' negligence--hadn't almost obliterated my career. But that part was down to luck and could have happened to anyone. My basic strategy was to carry on, no matter what cr*p I had to wade through, until there was nothing left. It got me far. I believe I could have gone further if not for factors completely beyond my control.