Anyone Else Outgrowing Asperger's?

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Same kind of thing here. As I've gotten older, I have both become more aware of AS and what that means to me. This helps me learn how to cope with some of the problems it presents. I have also learned social skills (much to my annoyance at the time), but it's helped a lot. Through having more experience and growing up, I have been able to lessen the effects that AS has on me, though since AS is a biological (and likely partially genetic) condition, I don't think you can ever really outgrow it. There is a difference between coping and learning to live with it and then outgrowing it.

I wouldn't say that I'm outgrowing it, but I would say that I'm learning to adapt. My Social Skills are better than they used to be. I've also been taking the Inititive to get out of the house and do more things, with my Clubhouse. This has become even more important, since I've developed a pesky new Obsession over the Past Month. The time that I spend with my the Members at my Clubhouse helps me to feel less Autistic, because I don't have nearly as much opportunities to perservate on my Three Musketeers. Routemasters, London and the Black London Taxi.

If Aspergers changes via learning, hopefully you've only learned to change those things you consider deficits. I don't think you'd have to worry about losing your gifts, too, unless you've particularly worked on quashing them.

As for myself, I know I've changed, but I don't think I'm growing out of Aspergers.

I am learning to deal with my problems. I am learning coping strategies. I am learning conversational skill and I am getting very good at it. Some of the things I had to remember to do on purpose I know do without thinking.

Habit breeds a way forward.

Do you think that NTs can tell that we are applying these skills consciously? I'm interested to know whether we can pass for NT by doing so.

I've experienced this too.

I remember reading something by an autistic person who'd tricked herself at one point into thinking that if she found a method of socializing, she was no longer autistic. She said that now that she was much older, she saw younger autistics doing the same thing, and didn't know what to say to them because they were in for a bit of a shock down the road.

I certainly know that every time I think I've got something figured out, something comes along to tell me that I don't really know that much about it at all.

I'm glad you posted this. I seem to be "getting over" a lot of the more debilitating parts of it (ex. I got over the worst of the "touch thing" and now I'm just very easily startled by people entering my personal space). I don't doubt that I had it, though- if you'd have seen me for five minutes as a kid you'd agree.

I"ve noticed the same. I guess because work is more structured it seems to be easier for me to handle being around people. But the job I'm currently on disability for was so hard for me because I was around about 70 people all day long, without stop. And at least one if not more meetings a day, so my people skills were being used constantly. By the end of the day, I was so exhausted from having to deal with people that all I wanted to do was either crawl into bed with a book or buy a bottle of vodka. Which is what I ended up doing till I realized that it was unhealthy and here I am today, getting a nice little breather from work. But in my jobs where there were fewer social interactions, I could handle them better than a random social gathering.

I like to look at my journey through AS as a lifelong education. Things that come naturally to NT's we have to learn. It doesn't mean it's impossible, though some things may be (such as my ever being truly comfortable in a random social situation) but I have learned how to behave socially to the extent that I get hired for jobs and when I tell people about AS they don't believe me. Like the rest of you though, I can just remember any one random day of my adolescence and see how far I've come.


Edited by Namiko for BBCode on Quote.

I can't say if I'm outgrowing it, as I don't how much it has affected me. I do have adapted to the 'social code', but this could just be because of gaining experience as I grew older - while I might have as much AS as I've always had.

In that sense, it's not so much the 'outgrowing of AS' I'm worried about, but more of finding my own place in society, with or without having outgrown it.

I don't think that anyone could truly grow out of Asperger's. Have you read Liane Holiday Wiley's book titled "Pretending to be Normal"? It talks about how she, in her lifetime, never grew out of AS and still had lots of the good traits of it. It also explains that some of the other things seemed like they "bubbled" in from time to time. I too think about if I'm growing out of my Asperger's, then again, some traits of mine always bubble in. So, I don't think anyone could truly grow out of AS, yet we can learn more social skills, since we weren't born with them and we end up having to learn them anyways.

Nice to hear I'm not going crazy, and that what I'm going through is normal for people with AS. All I think I need to work on is a good one on one relationship, and some more conversational skills. Of course, there's probably more I can't think of or know about too. Especially those subtle little quirks that I don't notice that other people do. I don't know if I really want to change (or cover up) my personality, just get better at socializing. It seems I'm evolving every year, so I guess it's avoidable that my personality well probably change again. Maybe somewhere down the road I'll be happy that this happened, rather than worried that I'll lose my true self while evolving socially.

I'm not too bad at the conversational skills, although it's a lot of work and most times I'd simply rather not bother. That tends to limit the relationship because people don't feel I'm bonding with them.
You can't really lose your "true self" unless you start pretending to be something you aren't. I don't really pretend to be NT. I just live life on my own terms and try to find other people who can handle that.

The thing about AS is that one can never completely outgrow AS. When I learned more and more social skills, I was increasingly able to pass off as NT. However, I am still occasionally confronted over behavior that was inappropriate even though I did not know it is inappropriate. I still have problems toning down my voice. I still want to be alone far more than the typical NT. Learning as many social skills as possible is the way to compensate for AS. Of course, Aspies will never learn social skills the way NTs do. AS will never go away, but it can be passed over by good social skills.

Solid wrote-

you cant outgrow aspergers you have it forever but your symtoms start to get easier to deal with when you go through your adolesent peropd (puperty) which is what I'm going through at the moment
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I am 13 years old with a lot of hope beside me that i shall overpower all of you and OVERPOWER ALL OF YOU

Bland- I agree with you, Solid. I've come a long, long way since childhood. I do regret to admit, however, that the older I get, the more tired I become; the more tired I become, the more the old ways start to gang up on me; especially the <Don't touch me!> and <I can't think because of all of the noise!> Also, I am so stubborn and non-conformist in so many ways and I wonder why I just can't go along with things and try to fit in! Sometimes I have to do this for the sake of my family but it's like pulling teeth!!!with no painkiller!! ! I don't seem to have particular obsessions but I am obsessive. Does that make sense?

I become more of a hermit as the years go by, so I'm definitely not outgrowing the social end of asperger's.

Apparently I have gotten better at covering it over the years. However I am beginning to let my guard down more often as I become more comfortable with it. I've also noticed that as I allow myself to act more AS, I'm becoming more creative.