How did your parents raise you?

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well i said permissive.
im actually learning about this in psychology and i was thinking about this same question.
id have to say this cuz my parents were never strict they did believe in grounding they did it once cuz i crossed a highway when i was 8 by myself i still dont but it really depends on the parent cuz my mom used to take care of me alot when i was little and now my dad takes care of me so....

I would say mostly authoritative. But I'm not sure... now I think about it, I remember instances where I would say that I was not allowed to do something I had been asked to do, and people commenting to me that my parents were 'very strict'. I don't know whether it was that my parents actually set more rules and regulations, or whether most of the parents were the same and it was simply that other kids routinely disobeyed instructions and I thought that if a rule had been set, I had to stick to it.

I said permissive...might have been some place between permissive and neglectful...I sorta ran wild..My family was poor and emotionally stressed/depressed...They pretty much let me do my own thing...and I did not have very many rules..

...None of those fit exactly/well...

I would say neglecting even though my parents wouldn't agree.

None of them had any idea how to raise children. When I was very young, up to age 5-6, I remember being slapped and yelled at. Something my mother denies today. Still, I have clear memories of that kind of punishment. They tried to set rules but they did it because they themselves came from dysfunctional but authoritative families.

Between 7-16, (I got diagnosed at 12) my mother used my problems to get attention for herself. Being the narcissist she is, with a lot of supressed trauma, she took every chance to cry and put on an act in front of a doctor. My father, being an extremely neurotic and pathetic AS type with alcohol problems known only to his family, is so compulsive and self-hating that he damaged himself and the entire family in ways he can't even begin to understand in his narrow world of self pity and alcohol.

On the outside my family was kind of normal, my parents had good jobs and we were like any academic middle-class family. However, everything that went on was blamed on me and my "AS". For years even my father's alcohol problems, as well as the fighting which resulted from it, were blamed on me. I was left to dry in the sun and all neighbours, relatives and people in school were told about how I was the source of all the bad things in the family.

I hate my parents in a way. I can't believe I still live with them, but if I didn't I wouldn't be able to afford the things I need, such as nice clothes. They just neglected and thought of themselves, all my life. My mother is such an attention seeking b***h that if I confront her about this she fake cries (yes I can tell the difference) and claims "everything I did was for you!!" and if she has an audience she might even let go of some of her built up trauma from her own dysfunctional childhood and seek more attention and confirmation.
My mother used me, she still does if the issue is brought up. She never apologized or understood how much she hurt me, she just keeps making up rhetorical excuses. She believes that if she can justify it with denial, excuses and rhetorical logic, as if she was a lawyer (like her dad) speaking in front of a jury, it must be true and no real harm have been done. She lives in a fantasy world even more than I do.

I really want to just win the lottery, move somewhere else, and heal. I can't heal as long as I'm stuck with my parents.

We had to strictly uphold and live by our parents' values until we moved out of their house. Then we could do as we please with our lives. I wouldn't call their approach authoritarian (though this is what I voted) but pecking-order approach.

My mum was permissive with my older 3 siblings, but with me she sheltered me because of my undiagnosed AS. She wasn't too strict on me but didn't give me as much freedom as the others.

My mother was an authoritarian. She was strict with my academics, my behavior, my looks etc...but she never had many 'rules' as such, or at least none that I knew of. I would get yelled at for everything, I was never good enough to meet her expectations & to be honest, I didn't even know what they were. However I suspect there was a bit of neglect in there when my mum went through a bout of depression (6 months to a year). I remember her drinking & 'forgetting' to cook meals, leaving me at stores when she was mad with me & driving off, leaving me at home not knowing what to do.

Mine were definitely, at least with me, authoritorian. They made all the rules, you did what you were told period, no discussion. I wasn't allowed to be angry, to get upset, frustrated, etc., I always had to be happy and smiling or they gave me a long yelling lecture about how losing your temper at the wrong person can cost you everything, yet they engaged in the same behavior, which didn't make sense.

We spent alot of our time confined to the house other than to go to school. We seldom went out and played like I hear other's did when they were my age. They thought everything we needed was in the house, so we didn't really need to go out much.

Grades were everything to my parents, if I wasn't an A student, or worse yet if I got Cs or Ds, they would have fits. They constantly pushed me to the point where I didn't want to go on anymore or even try to do anything.

Of course, my 3 older brothers and sister weren't raised that way. They were allowed to pursue their interests, including one brother who only just wanted to read books about history or WWII all day long. They never did anything about that, yet when I wanted to stay in my room by myself, it was a big problem. My sister wanted to sit and read in her room too, and it wasn't a problem either. When I wanted to play by myself in my room all day, it was a problem, for reasons I don't know.

My parents also used their authority to give my sister power over me, by backing her up when she'd order me to do something I didn't want to do. This often happened with things like going out, forcing me to swim(one of their personal favorites), and just totally ignoring what I wanted to do. Even though I wasn't allowed to be upset or angry, my sister would often have fits where she'd run to her room and slam the door, to which my parents would respond by caving into her. She wanted to rule the whole house, and my parents pretty much let her. I didn't know how far they'd go to appease her run to her room and slam the door tantrums, and am still scared of finding out. They wanted her to have infinitely high self esteem, while caring nothing about mine, and they gave it to her by pretty much catering to her. It came back on them later in a not very good way, and I'll never feel any sympathy for them because of it.

My siblings' lives were for themselves, I don't know who mine was for, but it definitely wasn't for me. If they had just let me be, I probably would have been fine, and perhaps found my true interests, but it wasn't to be. My sister's self esteem was just too imporant for that.

I'll never understand the NT propensity to enforce double standards, know what they are doing, and find nothing wrong with it.

Permissive, and I've turned out better for it

Mom was Authoritative. Dad was a mixture of Permissive and Neglectful.
Although, to my dad's credit, he was not neglectful in a mean way, just in a tuned-out-obsessed-with-work way. He's probably where I got Asperger's from.

Things became complicated when my mom got cancer and eventually died, all before I was 15. At that point, I effectively had no parents, and my life pretty much fell apart. I've been spending the past 12 years trying to pick up the pieces.

Good times

I voted permissive.

My parents weren't nearly as strict as most of my peer's parents were. But they weren't neglectful.

I suppose in my household, it was mostly 'permissive'. We had some rules of what was expected of us, but as we got older our parents held to those rules less and less. My aunt (my mother's sister) was far more strict on her only child. She and he husband saw to it that they ruled in an authoritarian style. Because of this style, my cousin is now very strict with her children. A little too much if you ask me, but it seems to have worked for her so whatever.

The way my brothers and myself were brought up, though, did lead to some of us getting into trouble. I fell in with a rough crowd just because I needed to "belong". I joined a street gang for a while and walked around proudly displaying my "colors" ONLY because I knew I had the backing of a lot of bad kids. If I had to fighton my own to get myself out of trouble, I'd never have made it. Not all street gangs require a jump-in initiation, because if so I would never have been allowed to join. I ended up slowly parting ways with them over the years. It was kind of a mutual thing ... I didn't do drugs or drink, I wouldn't shoot anyone, I would only start fights if I had my "brothers" with me. They saw no point in disciplining me, they knew I wasn't a total wuss but that I just wasn't "right". I'm not sure what they thought was wrong with me, but nothing really was said. We just finally parted ways and never really spoke again. I wasn't "marked" when I left, but word did spread to my enemies and I was marked by them more than I already was. I don't know how I ever survived those days and I still would like to move away from here because I sometimes find myself face-to-face with one of my old enemies while out and about and I tuck my tail and haul butt the other way every time.

Anyway, despite my falling in with the wrong crowds, I never did drugs or drank as a kid. I did experiment with smoking for a short while, but it was a matter of curiosity more than anything. And for a while I thought "smoking grass" meant LITERALLY smoking the grass from the ground so I even tried that a few times. I'd grab some paper and put grass in it and wonder (1) why it wouldn't stay lit, and (2) why anyone would even want to do that!

Anyway, both of my brothers got into drugs and alcohol but not me. After parting ways with my bad friends I started staying indoors a lot and drawing cities, houses, buildings, etc. I was very interested in architecture so I was always designing new things and I would do that to the exclusion of everything else. So despite being bad to some extent, I was actually the good one of the bunch. Of course, despite my mother and my older brother both likely having AS or at least showing many of the symptoms, I always felt like I didn't belong there. I always had an air about me, walking around with my nose in the air like I was a snob but I really wasn't. I just felt like I didn't belong there. I felt like an alien in my own family.

Authoritative, but I didn't turn out that way. I suffer from constant self-esteem issues and I kind of drift with life instead of actively pursuing it. My schoolwork and work ethic was initially very good, but eventually dropped off when my self-esteem hit an all time low and has never recovered since.

authoritative probably (currently)

I was treated like an adult. I had rules, for sure, and was abused for sure, but at the same time treated like a fully adult self-reliant person. They had very high expectations of me.