Do you find extraverts exhausting?

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I am introverted so yeah I do find people tiring

Well said. I can't even relate to someone that requires that much input. Well, at least not personally.


I dunno...
There are some people that party selfishly, just for the sake of partying -- and spend friendships like that. In my experience, most of the people that do this and are very selfish and ingenuine. A lot of high school/college parties assume this "sake of partying" attitude too, so I know exactly where you're coming from.

There is also a lot of people that party and drink for its own sense of intimacy. Its easier to get together and share stories, relate emotions, and relax with people you respect. People are less uptight and defensive, and less likely to take things seriously if they share a few drinks, unlike when out in a different situation. Lets not forget that social situations can still become extremely stressful even for a NT.

As far as marriages and relationships go, nobody is a perfect judge of character. If the couple only knows each other through parties, then that's obviously not healthy. The fact that love doesn't last forever and people naturally tend to displace anger to those closest to them doesn't help this, too. Other than that... personally, I couldn't understand getting in a relationship just for the sex -- that's called a f**k buddy, the relationship stuff doesn't need to be in there. I couldn't for the life of me understand why there's such a distinction between a "relationship" and "serious relationship", but that's just the attitude of a lot of people. These people aren't bad for it, it just doesn't make sense. It would be kind of arrogant to imply a sort of generalization of anybody's friendships just from that.

Last edited by typ3 on 20 May 2009, 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I find everything exhausting.

Introverts are exhausting. Extroverts are more exhausting.

Thanks for your replies. I had a migraine all night and I still feel ill today after seeing my friend yesterday. I'm glad it isn't just me who can't cope.

I'm an extrovert, so... no haha

Well, curiously, I find introverts to be very draining. I'll try to explain that.

The people I met with an introverted personality type where very hard to get energetic. Some hardly talk, some talk more, but even then their behaviour isn't energetic. Not as energising.

It's the other way around of what others said about extroversion.

Introverts are, like, unable to connect and help creating energy to pass around into the atmosphere. That's who they feel like to me.

They're like urchins, closed off. You just can't get them to help with the atmosphere which is sooo exhausting.

I'm very outgoing. My classmates all say that class definitely was not the same without me when I was sick for that one day. I'm actually a pretty and happy person, but if I'm upset about something, you'd know it. Usually, I'm pretty content though. One of my classmates had told me a few weeks ago, "I just love how you say everything with a smile on your face!"

But doesn't all this assume that intraverts have some kind of duty to "help with the atmosphere?" Why wear yourself out trying to get a cat to fetch sticks?

I didn't say they have. Why would you assume that?

You mean you think I implied that when introverts go out with others they should adjust to their environment? Did I get this right?

I am forced to interact with them if they participate in a social event, so I am forced to work with their lack of support. The same as when introverts are around extroverted personalities and forced to work around their energy craving. This is daily life and like many people before me who explained they think extroverts are exhausting, I explaining why I am not all-happy cheery around introverts, but why they too are exhausting to me.

I just don't think I understand what you are trying to say about assuming and duty.

Sometimes exhausting, yeah, but I prefer that to being around someone really quiet.
You see, I'm a pusher...when I don't understand someone, I push them. I had this very quiet friend once, I didn't get her at all, so I'd make up all these sort of scenarios to see how she'd react. To understand her a little better...of course, because of this she ended up hating me, which is not what I intended.
With extraverts I don't have to do this, because I can read them a lot better. I might end up with a splitting headache and no energy, but at least they don't end up hating me?

I probably read too much into what you wrote then. I was going a bit quickly.
Though, reading it again, it does seem that you're saying you find it exhausting to "get them energetic" and that you can't get them to "help with the atmosphere which is so exhausting" - I'm just saying why bother trying to get them to do that? You didn't actually say it was their duty to help with the atmosphere, I added that word, but to me you seemed to be implying that you'd been somehow supposing or expecting them to do that, otherwise why try to get them to? But maybe you didn't mean it that way. All I'm really saying is that sometimes it's OK to just let quiet people be quiet, though I guess from what you've just said that you must already know that. I still don't see why you could find a quiet person draining though.

Hey ToughDiamond, you got a 1000 posts. You can use custom titles now!

I think maybe its more of a personal disturbance of atmosphere that can't be controlled consciously. Like, there's nothing wrong about a quiet person, but it's always more comfortable to socialize with someone on the same wavelength as you than someone that is on an unrelated one. It actually doesn't seem much different from the reasons that an introvert might have a hard time hanging out with an extrovert.

It depends on who it is. If I'm around extroverts, then they can take the spotlight and I can just sort of hang out. Less pressure on me. I used to try and keep up but it just got to be too much effort.

If I'm around people I feel comfortable with, then I'm pretty outgoing myself.

On the whole, just about any social interaction can be tiring for me.

Oh that. There's some kind of change, a slight difference in my behaviour depending on whether I am in touch with an extrovert or an introvert. When introverts are there I can't interact with them if they're totally... 'not there' kind of. So I got to get them a bit energised if they really expect me to interact with them.

I probably also have to change some of my extroversion (in ways I can't explain, I leave that to the introverts) for them to be able it interact with me. I don't know. I mean, I am self-reflective but it really ends where my body ends because of my autism and social impairment so I do not notice if they act a special way around me to make me easier to talk to.

So, yes, it is their duty to adjust to me if they want to interact with me and the other way around. Adjusting to each other, in short. It just doesn't work somehow, trying to laugh at the same with in the same way with a real introvert as it works with an extrovert. The difference's so weird!

Edit: Oh, i just saw typ3's post! that's it totally:



I wish I could be that straight to the point haha



Why would you find a loud person draining? Loud crowds, full places, fast-paced stuff are raising my energy levels. Being in a quiet, empty place with a quiet person who doesn't spread excitement and isn't noisy I quickly spent my energy but cannot refill it and become utterly exhausted and tired.

Yeah, I feel the same way- interaction is interaction, regardless with whom. I actually kind of like to be with outgoing people- it fascinates me to watch them navigate a conversation in a way I may never be able to do. Outgoing people don't really wanna be around me though. Sigh.

I do find people in general to be tiring, but especially extroverted people. I occasionally wish to be more outgoing myself, since they do seem to be having fun sometimes, but I get tired of trying to maintain the relationships after a while and they tend to drift away. They are very high-maintenance.

Regards,

Patricia