We are our own worst enemy

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or it could be the popular people that are out of school now have matured and grown out of the need to be the center of attention and do things only if it were cool or hang around only those that were deemed cool.

I knew a girl in school that would always act big and bad when she was surrounded by her friends and would put me down constantly. When her friends weren't there she would walk by and smile and be nice to me.

This girl thought I couldn't talk. She never heard me talk. I didn't talk much. I had a smile on my face 24-7 and I couldn't help it even though I wasn't really happy.

When she teased me, I didn't get upset but I did take time to notice the change in attitude when she wasn't around her friends. Anyone can be a bully. It's more about if the person develops a mob mentality and feels the need to secure themselves by putting down others to do it.

Vorzac, that seems like a great approach to therapy. Perhaps I should attempt to do the same.

what's wrong with your analogy is that everyone knows that a blind person doesn't choose not to see, whereas in my most cases, people are unaware of the fact that aspies literally lack the capacity to naturally learn to act in a socially intelligent manner, and simply assume that they are childish, arrogant and self-absorbed.

AS is a "hidden" disability. Unfortunately most people don't have the same level of respect for people with more subtle disabilities like AS. They either focus on your seemingly high intellectual ability, and say it's your own fault for not trying hard enough, or they see your eccentricity and consider you ret*d.

About the facebook thing, just because your friends with someone on facebook doesnt not even mean sometimes that you talk to them in real life. I was pretty much a loner in highschool, there are a few people who I didnt talk to back in highschool that befriended me on facebook, doesnt mean I talk to them now.

You don't have to be obnoxious, moronic, or infantile to make other people feel uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, being any of those things would have made you more tolerable than being quiet and reserved.

KevinLA wrote:

After reading your post I also looked-up a few people from my past on Facebook mostly using my high school year book as reference. Also mostly high school people. As far as I remember I have either never or hardly ever spoken to any of them so I haven’t the slightest notion as to who was friends with whom or if any of them “imagined” keeping in touch with any other. I also have no idea as to who might have been considered popular or NOT with the “ ‘in’ “ crowd. I only have one “friend” in my Facebook and the only reason I have it is because I had to send this person an e-mail and did not have their address. This person can only be considered an acquaintance not a friend.
I also have no idea as to what you mean by:



I can only assume you mean that being a misfit is something transitory. In that case I guess my ineptness is chronic because not a single person has contacted me since I put my name in Facebook and it would be a severe shock to me if anyone ever did. But I promise to let you know as soon as anyone does, just don’t hold your breath.

P.S.: Are you sure you have AS?

I am flattered by that remark.

Why do you ask?

I have worked hard to overcome it.

I agree, it's true that our social skills are not up to scratch (the kind of complete social rejection and bullying one experiences is caused by more than just being "different"; a lot of "different" people are in fact very popular). I am certainly my own worst enemy in every way (more than just socially, I'm past the social rejection stage of my life). But the good news is that we can always improve using logical deduction.