Why move out at 18?

Post Reply New Topic

I went to a local college, and lived at home... actually I moved out at 18 and went to college locally and then moved back home at 19.

Personally, I'd rather someone encouraged me to go abroad and study and the best college that would accept me. There's something about taking the easy route of going to the local college and staying close to home that's comforting, but in life you need to leave your comfort zone... and going to college somewhere else is the perfect opportunity to do that.

At 18 the thought of traveling to someplace different, where I knew no one... it freaked me out. There were other justifiable reasons to stay home, money, family and friends... but in the end I used those as an excuse to ignore my fears.

The education I received was adequate, but the opportunities seem less. My experience is my own, but I didn't have much guidance. I got a math degree, but I didn't have too much choice in molding the type of classes I took. I just took every math class they offered. The school also lacked an engineering department. Which I might have looked into... if the school offered it.

If you plan to look for work away from your home town, getting experience moving is important. You need to build that comfort level of surviving on your own. Going away from college is a good opportunity to do that.

I'm not saying that the financial considerations are important, or that you can't get a quality education from a local college. But there are other considerations to factor when deciding to more out at 18.

My daughter went because I told her to. She's an adult, now, and I wanted the place to myself. Selfish? Probably, but I really need the alone time and frankly I want the space to follow interests of my own. She still has a bedroom here for her college breaks, but mostly stays with her fiance's family. They all appreciate the rather intense level of social interaction my daughter needs and I see her from time to time. We're both pretty happy with the arrangement. I would really like to be able to just have her in the house with me and the two of us doing our own things and only touching base every once in a while, but she's pretty certain that would drive her nuts.

I'm also apparently the only mother out of all her friends that doesn't annoy her child with the Weekly Phone Call. While she's at college, I hear from her about once a month or when there's a specific problem to address and we're both pretty fine with that. Frankly, I love my kid, but I'm just not that interested in the minutia of her life, nor do I want to talk endlessly about the minutia of mine. If there's something interesting or important going on, fine. I raised her to address problems sensibly and she should be able to figure out a way to handle most things on her own. Actually, she's rather appalled at the level of dependence most of her friends show towards their parents. She's working toward a degree in psychology and will be entering a MSW program next fall. She's working on an excellerated schedule, not because she sees it as a race, but because she's annoyed by the amount of time she'll have to spend in college otherwise.

Regards,

Patricia

I had every intention of moving out at 18, but was constantly sidetracked by (a) community college, (b) the 2001-2002 recession, (c) not being paid enough when I worked full-time.

I moved out at age 27.

To also understand the American viewpoint, many great Americans strove to build their own world rather than do the "coat tail" approach.

It's easy to be a success if mom and dad have their money bankrolling your enterprise. Doing it alone is a significant achievement. I'm not sure how this originated, but I do know the idea of "3 generations under one roof" was not uncommon in the USA early on, and it still exists in some cultures.

Mexicans do this because a nice house with 5-6 people working full-time and contributing to the bills can live quite nicely.

I think the USA view works like this.

1. Many people have kids but don't want to support them past 18. Letting the kids stay at home is detrimental to their learning to be self-sufficient. I can see this as being true for many, but making the kids go out and start working and supporting the household is what is the better choice.

2. Too many parents can't let go. You don't have the "family home." You have "mom and dad's" home. It is theirs. You live under their rules. So, you can't live your own life while under their roof. If kids are going to contribute to the operation of the household and live there, they must have a proportional say in the rules of living at home and be respected as self-sufficient adults. Too many parents can't do that, so it's better for the kids to move out and build their own life.

I'm thinking about moving out at 27-28. I can save some money so I don't have to live cheap.

I've never had the money and there's too many things I can't do.

There is no shame with being in debt. As long as you are responsible about it.

Going away to college is a social education.

If you want to be like average people, yes.

Being indebted is slavery no matter how you look at it. People who tell themselves it's okay to work of their student loan and house loan for the rest of their lives are in deep denial.

The best thing is to be free of any obligations, both economically and socially. You don't become more worthy of living for hanging around average people in their average fart-impregnated jeans all day long.

I don't think it should be compulsory either way. My father was abusive so I couldn't move out of there soon enough and it was one of the best things I ever did. It would have been nice tough to have a more supportive family and some things would have been so much easier.

But given the circumstances, things worked out pretty well - now I cherish my independence and I'm doing quite well - and no, I don't have any debts.

There is nothing wrong with living at home and studying at the local community college. If you can you should get a part time job (which can fit in with your studies) and contribute something to offset household expenses. Just because you are at home, shouldn't mean your are a complete dependent.

ruveyn

I disagree. Education costs have skyrocketed in the USA, but the quality of the education has not. I live in a major college city, and all these kids seem to live off parents or borrowed money - go out to movies, eat, drink, etc to a high lifestyle.

Savings rate statistics bear this out - debt is a self-indulgent drug right now in the USA - and it is going away - but the past 30 years have proven unsustainable.

IIRC, Benjamin Franklin said, "Neither lender nor borrower be."

Debt = slavery. No matter what it is for. For as long as you owe to someone, they have power over your life.

Student Loans are of Satan. There is little to no consumer protections for the borrower and bankruptcy protection is next to impossible to get. NEVER get into a debt that you can't dispose of via bankruptcy should your economic situation go sour.

http://studentloanjustice.org/

Education is an overvalued commodity. If you can get it without spending the next 20-30 years under the gun having to repay the cost of it, that's fine.

Especially if you have AS....getting gainful employment is hard for many of us, and student loans means you need to earn enough to support yourself AND pay back loans....you basically have to budget for two house payments every month.

Possible. More likely it's just a matter of cheaper rents and more part-time jobs for 18-year olds. Hard to live on your own when you're not working and the supply of dorms rooms/cheap housing is limited. I suspect the US/Euro differences in leaving the nest mainly come down to simple cost/benefit. As the recession bites and the US gets more crowded, the gap will probably narrow.

Not everyone can be an academic and not everyone wants to either. In a real society, there were artisans and all sorts of things but today the mainstream way to go for 80% is to go to uni and get a degree. It sucks because not everyone is suitable for that.

I'm disgusted by the liberal idea that everyone should be theoretically minded. Some people are not knowledgeable in history and psychology but they can be just as interesting anyway. I don't want to live in a society where everyone is an academic, it's so soulless. I'm not academic material and I hear all the time that "your life is worth nothing without a degree". It won't change that I'm not the least bit interested in formal education. I can't understand why people are so obsessed with it. I'm maybe not in touch with reality but I just can't see why everyone is going on about education. Both my parents have an education and their lives didn't become great because of it.

And this BS about "social education", lol. You learn to be like the average piss-people and respect their average rules. I know how to act in social situations but I don't want to be like for example my brother who's studying to become a teacher. I don't want to act like him in some social situations, because I don't feel like it.

Actually, in the US, MANY things (social pay, tax cuts, some spousal support, college aid, insurance, dependent classification, etc....) last until the "child" is 25, at least if she/he is a student! Europe seems to have a SIMILAR limitation. Prior to 25, you can be in a "youth hostle". The idea is that the person will get experience and a chance at a better income. By 25, They could have a bachelors, and maybe even be married with a child on the way!

I think the idea about kicking someone out at 18 is STUPID! TECHNICALLY, it is iillegal for a minor to be employed, or have almost anything of their own, outside of what others give them. They can NOT be bound by a signature, so credit cards, contracts, corporations, loans, etc.... are really out of the question. Any half way decent bank giving a loan will require a "cosigner". Although the minor has credit that will be affected, it is the cosigner that REALLY has to pay. They HOPE the minor will.

So HOW can you let a person that likely has so little experience, and funds, into the world to fend for him/her self.

Economically, education is at ridiculous cost levels. Not a good value.

You have the internet at your fingertips. What field do you want to learn? Why PAY people to read a book out loud to you - which is all too often what school is? Yes, college has many advantages - but there are alternatives these days.

Last edited by TobyZ on 25 May 2009, 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.