Would you abort your baby if...

Post Reply New Topic

Another thing to consider being a single mother with a disabled child is loneliness. When I worked at a restaurant there were two single mothers working as waitresses who had disabled children. One had a boy with downsyndrome the other had a girl cerbal palsy. Both women had a hard time keeping boyfriends they would stay around for a day or two them they would never see them again. The one who stayed treated them and their kids like crap. One waitress became so obsessed with one scumbag because he showed her a little attention so she stated spending more and more money to keep him around. Things got so bad for because of thic dickhead she had her child taken away for a few months by CPS. Those disabled children made a living hell for their mothers.

I am disabled but not as disabled as those two waitresses children I only have Asperger's Syndrome but I did cause as much trouble for my parents. Growing up I showed no love towards my parents I cried when I was picked up and ran away from them when older to avoid bing touched or hugged. I cried non-stop when I was an infant and took a long time to learn to walk to the point my doctors thought there might have been something seriously wrong with me. I caused my parents a lot of sorrow growing up. Then I started speaking very early so they thought at least that was a sign of intelligence. I was reading at age three and knew how to count to fifty. They thought I was a slow start but I caught up to the other kids and was now going past them for a short time they were happy with me at least.

After I graduated from kindergarden they put me into special education classes. It was another kick in the belly to my parents their son who they thought was bright and intelligent was deemed sub-standard then placed with the other rejects. I spent my entire time in school getting in trouble for being beaten up, spit on, and talking back. My parents were constantly coming into school to speak to teacher, psychologists, and the principal to hear about how I can't behave right or get along with the other students. They were constantly told it was my fault that I got my ass kicked or did not fit in.

My whole life I have been a horrible burden on my parents. I have never gotten my act together while my two NT brothers have good paying jobs own property and have girlfriends while I am 41 still living at home. My parents denied it when I asked them but I know they think they would have had a better life if I had not been born. If given the choice to not have been born I would have jumped at it. Being aborted would have spared me a life of horrible garbage and given my parents a break or a chance to have another child but less disapointing.

Do you want this to just continue? Disabled children either being aborted or their parents being in misery? I say, the world could be a better place for all of us, but it isn't going to get any better if we don't do anything about it.

The focus should be making life easier and better for both parents and kids.

Not existing is the easiest way.

I believe anyone can have high quality life and contribute if given the opportunity so why deny them a chance?

The easy way sucks.

^^^^^^^
Word.

I'm guessing a good 85% of the heart ache of special needs kids' parents is 1) fighting a system who doesn't want to part with a dollar and do as little as possible for the child.

2) Society's attitude towards less than perfect people.

Fix those two things, and the stomach acid meter drops.

I have been denied well paying jobs since I was 18 due to tests designed to keep people like me out. The low paying jobs I have been able to get I have done better than most of my co-workers, never late, my works is always finished on time, and I am a perfectionist but I am always skipped for promotions and pay raises. It so blatant my fellow co-workers notice it. You can wish all you want for good thing but in reality the world hates what is different and will sh!t profusely on outsiders. It is better to be dead then second class.

My psychologist told me I should apply to VESID or some such alphabet soup group designed to find jobs for the misfits of society. I told him I have met people who went with group to find a job all the jobs they were offered were cleaning jobs that paid s**t or office jobs that only gave you enough hours to not qualify for disability but not enough money to live off of. I asked him if cleaning up NT's s**t stained toilets or working for a few hours a week is so great why isn't he doing it. He did not give me a response. This is the life I will have to live with. I refuse to kill myself through suicide but if I ever develope cancer I am not fighting it. Once my life savings run out I will not be buying my blood pressure medicine anymore so hopefully I will have congestive heart failure again this time I will not be going to the emergency room. I have had enough.

Last edited by Todesking on 09 Jan 2012, 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, but I don't plan on having kids in general.

ouch, sorry you had to happen upon that. it sucks that aborting a kid because they have a handicap like that, it pisses me off. i heard it on tv they weren't saying that it was good but that it happens. i also ran across a site medical one. and these doctors\scientists whatever, were talking about us like we were a disease.

i replied and believe me i wanted to verbally gut them, but i stayed respectful.

can't find the site again, but they were talking about us as a disease that has to be removed, i said that instead of putting their time toward killing kids with aspergers, but to find out what causes it so it can be managed and dealt with better. because every person who takes the first breath of life should be able to enjoy it for a little while at least. and they slandered the term aspie, as being the ignorant ones or something.

i told them that i call myself the nickname because it's short and easily remembered.

http://medicalkeywords.com/aspergers/as ... r_free.asp
must have gotten spread around a bit, my reply is not there.

i do agree we should be treated better by others. like most nts think we are stupid, and i am gaining a fierce hatred of nts, i think it has something to with finding out about the asylums. but i verbally gutted a person on youtube, mainly because i wanted to get my anger out mostly.

but every time i hear about them slandering us it gets me really pissed. and it's not a good idea to piss me off. i don't forget people or things that hurt me, i'll probably die slandering my kindergarten teacher on my death bed. i'm lucky i don't remember the class, but i remember the reoccuring nightmare i had every day.

but as soon as i read that, i thought i could have been aborted. if the system existed then i could have been killed off. and as much as i hate living with the fact that i do have a disorder, i am glad i actually got to have the gift of life.

we didn't ask for this issue we have but we can't do much about it, just deal with it one day at a time. and it's a slap in the face when they keep saying this bs crap. like we gave ourselves the illness to begin with. and i know some fake it thinking they will get pitty, but your start saying you are mental and they think you are a psycho, or stupid.

at least we have wp to turn to.

I have wrote my opinion about it explaining in a better way why I would prefer to bring up an NT child.
I have nothing against Autistic children, but personally I would prefer to have an NT child. Life is more predictable then. You know that an average, healthy NT child with no psychological differences or any developmental delays will start school happily and will make friends as they get older, and you just have the normal worries what all parents have with their children. I know NTs can still get depression and other disorders like that, but having a child on the spectrum has more chance of becoming depressed and anxious, and feeling isolated throughout school and struggling with living as a socially awkward person who tries hard but still gets pushed back even further.

Not only that - with a child with any disability, you have to keep taking them to clinics, get a diagnosis or something, fight to get them the right support in school, hope to God that the child won't get bullied, know that there's a higher chance of the child being socially miserable at school - and then you are afraid the child might have serious developmental delays which may humiliate you or the child, and I don't know many parents who prefer to have their child unhappy because sometimes parents with low self-esteem themselves start blaming themselves for the child's depression and isolation....

I'd rather have an NT child because there is less chance of the child from becoming isolated, depressed, anxious, easily stressed, and humiliated because of developmental difficulties or differences. I'm not saying there's 0 chance of NTs from getting depressed, but there is less chance of an NT child getting depressed than an Aspie or Autistic child becoming depressed, also due to social issues and co-morbids and severe lack of confidence, also having to endure school life and also work life struggling. At least with depressed or anxious NTs, there is a little more chance of them overcoming their disorder better by having more chance of having friends to fall back on. Generally NTs have more chance of becoming socially accepted, more so than Aspies. So I would like my child to be socially accepted, being that I wasn't throughout school, so why should I want to bring another Aspie child into the world and put them through it too?

Also it's all the social double-standards which leads to confusion, more isolation, distrust of people, anger, resentment, and possibly even Social Phobia. This has happened to me anyway. All through my life I've seen NTs breaking social rules, and thinking ''but if I did that everyone would hate me'' sort of thing, and it then makes me believe that whatever I do is wrong, even though rationally most things I do is socially right.

I don't understand the sort of thinking that runs thus: if eugenics was practised, I would never have been born, therefore eugenics is a bad thing and should never be practised. Isn't similar to saying: if my parents were celibate, I would never have been born, therefore celibacy is a bad thing and should never be practised? When they're not enforced by the state/church, eugenics and celibacy are matters of personal choice and don't infringe on any individual's rights (unlike genocide). I'm talking about prenatal screening and abortion here, so my position does rest on the foetus not having human rights yet.

I think people should be free to practise eugenics if they wish. Denying them the right to do so is impinging on another's freedom and interfering with their personal lives.

The difference between celibacy and this type of eugenics is the motivation behind it, there is a big difference between not existing simply because your parents didn't want to have sex and being killed before you are born because you are not "perfect".

Also, screw personal freedom, we don't have the right to murder, do we?

I've established that my argument rests on abortion not being murder. No-one is killed before they are born because they haven't acquired personhood yet. 'I' didn't exist before a certain developmental stage, so you couldn't 'kill' me before then.

This is just going to go around in circles.

Exactly. Our bases haven't changed, they are never going to change, so we are just saying the same things and we might as well just stop debating this.