Aspergers and victim complex

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no,I actual like women.It's liberal and feminist women
who take everything out of context. Am I sexist,of course
not.Stop listening to feminist.

There is a difference between feminist and radical feminist you know. Feminists simply want equality. Radical feminists want superiority. I'm a feminist, yet I'm a stay at home mom, a housewife, I cook and clean and wear dresses and fix my hair. I ask a man to change the tire and take out the garbage if one is here to do it, and to cut the grass etc. I bring my husband a plate of food when supper is ready and when i get up to do something I ask if he needs a cold beer. I enjoy being a housewife, but it was my choice to be one. I fully support women who choose to have full time careers and women who choose not to have kids, etc. Just because I'm a feminist doesn't mean I'm not a lady.

I'm also pretty liberal when it comes to politics. I'm not crazy liberal but I'm very much liberal and feel that everyone should have equal rights, that the government should stay out of our business, that gay marriage should be legal, and I'm pro choice. I also think that healthcare should be available to everyone but Obamacare is just trash because it's not going to work and isn't working now. I don't support all the liberal causes, like the whole illegal alien thing, and I do agree with conservatives about some topics as well, but not all.

So whats wrong with liberals and feminists? I think anybody who is extreme in their views is pretty much a half bubble off plumb, and thats for either side, liberal or conservative. Are you against women having equal pay and equal rights? Cause thats what feminism is really about and what it was started about. And what do liberals have to do with people whining about not getting a date?

well,that explain alot. for some reason I thought you were conservative.
what is with you liberal feminist women any ways,why the
obsession with lonely guys.I never see conservative women
complain about lonely guys.

dude, WE are not the ones who are obsessed--take a good look in the mirror.

yes,you feminist are. I get it,feminist and Liberals can't
stand unpopular guys.

Last edited by billiscool on 27 Apr 2014, 2:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

OOM, that little story of yours on page 9 is hilarious!!

I don't have any obsession with lonely guys. I read the forum and respond to posts. I noticed a trend and commented on it. Trust me, I have no obsession with lonely guys and I don't complain about lonely guys, I complain about people who constantly post about a problem and refuse to do anything about it. If you posted about other topics you would notice that I do the same in other threads and other topics besides guys who can't get a girlfriend.

No, we really aren't obsessed. And somebody's popularity has nothing to do with whether or

not I like them. I like people based on personality, not popularity. I have several

friends who are guys and not popular, online and in real life. They are nice and I try to

encourage them to get out more and do things so they enjoy their lives more. However, we

talk about a lot more than just whether or not they are going out and doing things. They

are my friends. We talk about their lives, we talk about my life, we talk about tv and

stuff thats going on in the world and just general chit chat. I also have female friends

who are unpopular too. Same thing with them.

I think you are just obsessed with trying to find some reason why people don't like you so

you come up with all kinds of stuff. AS, now it's people's political views, etc. Here's a

hint. Maybe it's your personality that causes people to not like you, not your AS and not

our politics. Maybe its because you ask and ask for advice and never take it and just find

some excuse as to why you can't do anything that is suggested to you and you just turn

everything back around to make it everybody else's fault. Change how you come across to

people and maybe then they would start liking you more. Take the advice from people who

have been in your situation, with the same abilities you have, and who found a way to solve

the problem and who offer to help you solve yours.

It's much easier and much more comforting to think that it's some particular flaw or even

an across the board opinion of certain groups that cause them not to like you, when in

reality it's your personality. It's more comfortable emotionally to find something outside

yourself to pin it on because if you were to try and change the things that cause people

not to like you and risk rejection knowing that the rejection is based on you and not on

the person rejecting you. In other words, if you don't try to change and just blame it on

either your AS or our political views or our sex, then you never have to accept any blame

or feel that you have done anything wrong. Nobody likes to be told that their personality

pushes people away, and most people would like to believe that the fault lies in other

people, not themselves, but thats not always true.

Considering the fact that I do have good friends who are unpopular guys that don't have

girlfriends or women in their lives, your theory that I'm obsessed with lonely guys and

don't like unpopular guys is disproved. So, why do I dislike you? What reason can you

find about me that causes me to not like you? Could it possibly be your negative attitude

and your complete refusal to change anything at all about yourself to get what you want out

of life? If you were to accept the fact that a few simple and easy changes (even for

someone with more severe AS) could cause you to have a better outcome in many situations

then you would have to accept the fact that you have caused the rejection and the dislike

in the past and that would mean that the fault lies with you and not someone else and thats

an uncomfortable reality. I know how it is because I had to accept that about myself

decades ago when I learned what I was doing wrong and started working on changing it. The

changes helped me, and allowed me to actually live my life and enjoy it rather than

spending it resenting everybody else because they didn't like me. It's like a person with

a pollen allergy who wants to go hiking every day but refuses to take an antihistamine so

they just complain about getting sick when they go outside and say it's not fair because

other people can go outside without a benadryl and then blaming the trees for the fact that

they are stuck inside and complaining about how mean the trees are to them and how unfair

nature is to them instead of just taking a benadryl and going out to enjoy the outdoors.

And that is exactly what you are doing. You want girlfriends but you refuse to do anything

to make yourself more appealing to potential girlfriends so when you are rejected you can

blame either the AS or the girl and not put the blame where it belongs, on yourself, for

not doing anything at all to be somebody who would attract girls. If you have some made up

reason in your head about why you are rejected then it doesn't hurt your feelings as much

and if you try to change any of the actual reasons why you aren't attracting women then you

risk knowing that you are rejected because of you and not because of them.

It's a difficult thing to accept and you probably won't accept it, and it's a difficult and

rude thing to have to say, but somebody needed to tell you this. You seem like you could

be a nice guy and could be somebody that girls would like and people would want to be

friends with but you won't do anything to allow that to happen. So go ahead and try and

find some explanation to comfort yourself, but thats all you are doing when you make up

reason after reason why somebody doesn't like you. You'll either come to realize that I'm

telling you the truth and you'll start to work on yourself and maybe take a chance on being

happy in life or you won't and you'll spend your entire life convincing yourself that you

are alone because everybody else is a jackass. It doesn't matter to me which one you

choose to do, but at least I told you the truth so you'll have a chance to do something

about it.

I cant get a girlfriend primarily because im pretty unfortunate looking. Were I attractive women would simply swoon into my arms and that would be that. I used to have a major victim complex. This was borne out of paranoia however. I still have the same mindset but I tend to sublimate that part of my thinking and laugh off my observations of people ostracising me. I suppose I bottle it all up.

Its highly likely that anyone with aspie tendencies is going to be victimised at some point or another. For some of us with these traits the cycle is constant and actually engenders a complex and submissive behaviour. The two combined mean that confirmation comes into play (every snub and slight confirms one's perception of victimisation and evidence to the contrary is ignored). Additionally some men and women could smell a submissive person in an abbatoir so that leads to even more bullying. Wash rinse repeat ad infinitum. The most brutally vicious circle you ever did see

not every woman in the world is a supermodel, you know. some of us are rather plain, yet it's possible to be plain physically but have a fantastic personality that draws people to you; one can be plain and still be smart, funny, interesting, caring. there's a lot more to being a date-worthy person than how you look. so why not look for a great girl who maybe isn't a supermodel but has a charming personality that you could fall in love with? or are you judging women exactly the way you wish people wouldn't judge you--by looks?

Please,Olive there a difference between a mild aspie like yourself
and more severe Aspie.Yes,some aspie struggle to wash themselves,
struggle to make friend,or get dates. You don't have the same problem,
stop thinking like a leftist,not all aspie are equally the same,or
can reach the same goal.

I never said they could reach the same goals. I'm aware of that. Stop putting words in my mouth! I said that everybody can do something to TRY to improve themselves. You refuse to do that because if you did that and failed then you wouldn't have anybody you could blame but yourself. As for the whole "leftist" thing? WTF dude? What does thinking that everybody can do something to improve their life just a little bit have to do with anybody's politics?

The problem you have is you. It's not my politics or her opinions or anybody's belief that everybody can improve just a little bit if they try. Hell, you might not be able to improve your skills but you could damn sure change your attitude. That might help you become a pleasant person to be around, which would go a long way to compensate for your lack of certain skills.

Stay in your own world if you want, it's obviously no loss.

I have improve myself,but this is not about me,stop
using leftist shaming tactics.

I know all this.... I did say primarily. The rest of it is the whole aspie-type weirdness I have going on. There was a time when I was able to get girls purely by force of personality, but that was when I was younger and before life reduced my coping mechanisms leading to the exacerbation of all my weird traits.

I generally am not looks oriented. I would date a "Plain girl" without a second thought if she shared my interests. I would be overjoyed to do so.

correction:there was a time when girls were attracted to me.... never had a girlfriend

well we're all sort of in the same boat with the awkwardness thing, it's why most of us are here. if i find the secret of how to find people willing to put up with autistic weirdness, i'll pass it along.

Bill - whenever you throw out 'leftist' or 'feminist' or 'liberal' like this, you sound like Mr Burns and his dislike of sideburns:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi_5lXIT5AY[/youtube]

Or perhaps Vizzini's cry of "inconceiveable!" in The Princess Bride:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D58LpHBnvsI[/youtube]

You dislike a certain state of affairs. You dislike leftists and feminists and liberals. It does not mean that any of the latter are responsible for or endorse the former.