Sorry I have to ask this

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I agree that media is a problem for the general population's understanding of the Autism Spectrum. It makes the general population associate only blatantly ND and stereotyped people with ASD, and this is upsetting for me. I remember reading some NT on the internet explaining that such-and-such couldn't have ASD because they can understand some basic facial expressions, and enjoy literature (I cannot find said page now). I think that popular media needs more subtly ND but canonically ASD-diagnosed characters.

That's silly. I just say people who don't have my specific type of autism and same experiences as me, don't have autism jk haha?

I wasnt saying you were gatekeeping i just explained what it is.
Ezra, im with you on this one (I just wanted to explain gatekeeping in my own words)

I always called them internet doctors. people who go around saying who is on the spectrum and who isn't based on things they say or what the believe in or how bad their condition is, etc. Now I know a new term for this.

Maybe this helps: my parents and my private school attributed my quirks to a high IQ. They stopped there and just accommodated and accepted me. I wasn't forced to socialize but they did send me to 'etiquette class' and taught me the basics. They let me escape into books when I felt like it.
I went off the tracks when put into boarding school (bullied -> rebelled), but they blamed my questionable behavior on puberty and other stuff. Started delving into psychology, anthropology, sociology, etc so that I could understand NT - although I had no clue I was on the spectrum.
At uni I didn't go to class unless it was mandatory and just studied at home before finals. Socially it was ok because I kept all of this to a minimum. Found a close but small circle of friends who just accept me and I them. Work was intense with long hours and brutal deadlines so 'I'm eating at my desk / skipping lunch' was normal.
So yeah, finally I crashed once I had 'adult' responsibilities and a job which required networking and significant interaction. Then I got my diagnosis. Before I didn't even realize that the repetitive movement I made was 'stimming' or that I missed nuances during conversation or that my level of tolerance for socializing was abnormally low or that shutting down isn't something all people do sometimes etc. People just seemed to accept all of these things as me being me.

I realize this was my personal experience but maybe it helps to clarify?
TL;DR: being extremely sheltered helps

So they were all children before Asperger's became a thing, and since they were verbal they were considered to be 'normal', but also lazy, stupid, bad-tempered, selfish and whatever insult people can come up with. Years of abuse can make a person rather thin-skinned. You have to understand how many people have spent their lives being told there is nothing wrong with them and that they are only looking for attention.

Imagine that the next time you have to go somewhere in the school building, someone is supposed to take you there, but they decide at the last minute that they have something else to do, and tell you to get there on your own. You are scared, because you know you might get lost, and that you'll have a hard time asking strangers for directions. When you try to communicated this, the person gets angry with you and tell you to stop being a crybaby, and that you are only pretending to get lost because you want attention, and that they can see right through you. Repeat every second day for the next 30 years.

So when you start talking about people having nothing wrong with them, it's probably one of the most triggering things you could say to that particular subgroup of autistics.

I'm not certain if I'm considered part of this group. I don't think so? I'm plenty maternal, though. I think it's because I'm a mom

Nope, I am not entirely sure that I am one; at least not anymore.

Aah. Having doubts? You're sure obsessive enough, but yes, it is more than that.
I'd like to point out one thing, though: I think some of the autistics who have grown up in tighter communities and with strong family ties tend to have better social skills, simply because they get a lot more social learning crammed into their days. It's hard to imagine, if you're living in a very sociable environment, quite how isolated people can become in some Western countries, North America in particular.

Sorry- your profile said 15.

So anyway as to the original topic. I like to compare autism to red hair. Partially because the rates are about the same but also because both are a spectrum. You either do or you do not have red hair (genetically), but red hair can look all kinds of ways, from pretty much black, to pretty much blonde, to just being a red beard with different colored head hair, to bright orange, undeniably red hair.

Autism is like this too. Sometimes it's obvious to everyone and other times it can be debatable in one way or another. You may be autistic plus have a learning disability, or autistic plus allergies- these kinds of things make it very difficult for others (sometimes even for oneself) to know what can be attributed to autism and what is something else. Some people are autistic but with an interest in other people, or especially empathic, which can make them appear not autistic. I believe my friend AspieUtah mentioned how an interest in cinema can help greatly with masking.

PEOPLE are complicated. When applied to different people, autism is going to look and function differently each time.

Ah unintentional abuse I call it. Though I never get lost when I know the place but my husband gets lost easily but he somehow still finds his way around places.

Had my Fair share of this.

I do not understand what autism has got to do with red hair?
Having red hair would not prevent me from having severe sensory issues unabeling me to take part in lots of people so-called normal life-activities as going to a grocery store where I have to give thought about if having food this night is worth to go throuhg this hell of sensory overload going into a grocery store.
If I managed to go through senory heel supermarket do I manage to prepare food I never know.
I do not drive because I get too fixed onto environmental details as staring onto a point with no perception of time or further environment.No good for trying to drive a car.
Red hair would not prevent me from having mind-blindness, no ability to read people and it is scary to lack this ability to read people, because human contact is always unpredictable to me so I avoid it, but at the same time it feels very lonely being without any human contact except for psychologist and one friend. I did spent christmas alone, if I only had red hair I probably wouldn't.
I work very hard with autism psychologist.
I am on a list for support in every-day-matters for autistic people but I got information that I have to wait about a year from now.
I have a little help in place but not the full help I need.
Because I cannot take care of basic needs like feeding myself properly, I am seriously underweight.
I am 42 years old, never finished an education, cannot work in regular jobs.
Why do you compare having autism with having read hair?
I do not understand.

The previous poster is only comparing autism to red hair because they both are about as common as each other, according to her.

She didn't mean any harm. She's really a nice lady.

How are your cats doing? Are they still doing ballet?

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 28 Dec 2016, 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Autism comes in many forms. A person diagnosed may display only one or two stereotypical traits and otherwise "pass" as NT, others may display most or all stereotypical traits.

A person who can "pass" as NT may actually be autistic. I struggled with that idea initially as well but now I accept it.

Hi, kraftiekortie, I do not understand comparing red hair to autism, it does not make sense to me. And maybe both is common but still I do not understand, because blond hair is common as well or brown or dark hair but the impact of having autism or a hair-colour to me is not comparable, because I do have reddish-brown hair but it does not cause any trouble in every day functioning.
I really do not understand.
Thank you for answering me, kraftiekortie!

There is no connection between autism and red hair. I don't believe she thinks that, either.

I believe her intentions were humorous, not totally serious.

She was trying to say that there are different "shades" of autism, just like there are different "shades" of red hair.

She was trying to say that autism, like red hair, presents itself in many different ways.

Sometimes, people come up with very individual comparisons which seem somewhat nonsensical at first glance.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 28 Dec 2016, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.