glider18's Wonderful World of Autism

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^ Re gratitude - it wasn't specifically directed at you, fiddlerpianist. In fact, most specifically it is what i need to remind myself frequently, as i tend towards intolerance and frustration with people as a "natural state."

I understand what you are saying about a negative attitude getting someone nowhere and i agree. But i also know in my case i needed a lot of help to get the jump-start into positivity and even now the grasp is a tenuous one.

Still, this is one of my favourite threads on WP, because everyone is trying to focus on the positive in spite of difficulties.

Millie, my humblest apologies for misunderstanding you. I always enjoy reading your posts; you have a very insightful perspective.

I'm not good at anything (I'm the kind of chaotic aspie) but I love the way I see (viasually) the world, and all the fascination I get about random topics or just finding a unique patternt as the way the brics in the side walk are organized at an intersection of several roads.

XD LOVE IT!!

Thank you Dianitapilla---that's a very healthy attitude. Even though you don't think you are good at anything, you can still find happiness in patterns and random topics. I think patterns are neat to examine, and I find myself looking for patterns many times.

Well...yesterday was a very busy and hectic day---our teacher workday at school. I still have one more thing to do I didn't get done---move my roller coaster model back home. So, I will go back this morning and get it. There wasn't room in the van for it yesterday.

So...today is the first day of my summer vacation. School starts back up toward the end of August. I have now laid out before me all the things I want to acccomplish this summer. Now, with the knowledge of my AS, I have a new approach to get these things done:

*Be a proper father and close friend to my two sons---with my therapy I should not feel as awkward "playing" with them as a father should.

*Maintain the lawn work better

*Clean the basement---it has overwhelmed me in the past (sensory overload issue due to AS for me). I will do it in babysteps. I already tried a little cleaning last weekend, and quit when I got tired. And even with that, my wife could even tell a difference in the basement. And, I let my sons take things out in the yard to sell, and they raised around $40 real quick. We may try that again this weekend.

*With getting the basement clean, it is time to finally get my HO scale model amusement park together. There are a lot of models to complete. The amusement park will take up four 4X8 foot sections of plywood. The rest of the model town wraps around the amusement park on other sections of plywood. The whole model town measures 24 feet by 28 feet with walk areas between the plywood. A lot of the basement storage will be underneath the plywood. So it will serve a dual purpose.

*Work on trying to complete my novel project. For this, I want to use my Airstream camper as my private work area. The Airstream is parked next to the pool, so while my sons swim and play in the yard, I can closely supervise them from the Airstream. Airstreams were a fascination of mine (the older ones). So, my wife and I went on a hunt for one almost five years ago, and found a 1961 Airstream Overlander for a very reasonable price. I am slowly fixing it up with things like new 1950s style sofa fabric, new carpeting, etc.

*Get the house clean. And dismantle some of the Christmas decor that's been up for years. At one time, I had 35 Christmas trees up in the house (AS obsession). The electric company loved me.

*Clean out the clothes closets---our entire family has a lot of clothes that we don't wear, or doesn't fit anymore. So my wife has been in contact with a person for us to donate clothes to a nearby Catholic Church that works with needy families.

(Interesting observation---I often times notice that I work best if I can see two or more positive goals come out of something---one goal benefits me, one goal benefits someone else.)

*Etc. There are many more things to do this summer.

With all the things I want/need to do, I won't be posting as much on the WP. There is too much fun to get into---or should I say work. Well, it's not all work for me. There is fun with my sons, fun with the model amusement park, fun with the novel, fun with... But I will check things here from time to time and make a post(s).

Keep posting your positives---that's what this thread is all about. Even when life gets challenging, those good things somewhere in your life can carry you through. Those fun things can be your escapes. A church newspaper just published their latest paper and had a little article on me. It related how I have always found speaking in public as difficult due to my autism. And it related how I had found escapes into music as a child---well, I still escape into music often. Music helped carry me through my childhood/teenage years. Without it, I don't know what I would have been like. But I hung on to that passion, that autistic savant talent skill, that is a dear friend to me.

Well, the boys will be awake soon---and now, I have to become the breakfast and lunch chef. The school took care of that before. And my wife works year round---so, I am now officially on father duty. Oh...and I have to pick up my roller coaster model...and I have to get the yard tools out because...oh...I gotta go .

oh, no problem at all, fiddlerpianist. You are probably just as blunt as I am at times. So no problem whatsoever. It is very good to see you here on WP and I have also enjoyed reading your posts and contributions since your arrival.

Our summer break/vacation began last Friday---and I made a post about all the things that I want to do in these three months off from work. Friday was a prosperous day. I hired a lawn worker to weed eat and clean up around the pool---about a 5-hour job---it is a big lawn with a lot of trees, etc. While he was working on the yard, I cleaned up on two of the rooms of the house and a hallway. Then in the evening, I mowed the lawn. That got done. So now the lawn is around 95% in shape. And there are more rooms to clean in the house---but I'll get it---and my wife is helping too. We (family) took some sacks of clothing to the Salvation Army---so that marks a continued effort to clear out clothing we no longer wear. Yesterday and today I feel pretty tired (I am allergic to the pollen in the air right now). Last night, I took my wife to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in town---and we had a lot of laughs thinking of funny things. Today (Sunday) was church. I decided to play the piano rather than the organ for the prelude. I did a church hymn set in a very jazzy style. I didn't know how it would go over, but people were keeping the beat along with me, and when it was over everyone applauded---and I felt awkward as usual. I did what my therapist said to do---look at everyone, smile, and say "Thank you." That's all he said to do---no need to do anything else. I can tolerate that---but it's still awkward. Even though I am still tired, I am glad progress is being made. Tomorrow, I want to continue on with the list.

Well, the approach is a little different now for these things that need to be done. In the past I have gotten frustrated, but now I have tried to apply an approach that seems to fit my AS-being. I am taking it slowly, but steadily. When I feel frustration, I focus on something else, then return to the original task, or some other task. Eventually things will get done. So now, rather than feeling overwhelmed and helpless with the multitude of tasks, I feel good. By adjusting the chores to meet my AS, I have a more positive feeling. And a lot got accomplished out of what was not over-exhaustive work.

Here is the way I am trying to view it now. In the hallway was a huge pile of my sons' schoolpapers and other stuff. It looked overwhelming. But, I told myself, "Just take a few papers and file them away and leave the rest." I did that, and noticed...the pile is smaller now...not so intimidating...I guess I could remove a few more papers from it later. I did. And before I knew it...the pile was gone. I took "babysteps" to get there with the pile of papers. I set the goal at just taking away a few, but ended up getting it all. It would have been ok to have stopped at a few---because that would have been progress. But that is how I need to approach all the chores. I must not try to tackle everything about a task at once, but rather small amounts. Then, as time goes by, it won't look so "huge." Eventually, it will get done. So...whatever it is that bothers us, maybe we should view it in a manner of making little improvements and not think that it has to all be solved at once. Things take time. And I truly believe the task of getting the house in the shape that we want it might take all summer. But, each little thing that gets done is one step closer to the goal.

After posting my recent above posting, I realized I had another name to add to the list of people here who have found joy in their autism. So here is the revised list:

Glider18
Garyww
SpongeBobRocksMao
Millie
Pensieve
DeLoreanDude
GeomAsp
BobTheMartian
Inventor
Sunshower
Outlier
Poopylungstuffing
Morgana
Fiddlerpianist
WaterWater
AnAutisticMind
Starr
Scorpileo
ProfessorX
Danielismyname (your poetry is a gift whether you think so or not)
CanyonWind
Sora (I think you have described autistic gifts in your life whether you realize it or not)
Itsallrosie
Gaya
Dustintorch
Ghfreak13579
TheDoctor82
Lionesss
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo (in finding something positive about social aloofness)
Dianitapilla

i really do want to discover the good things about my diagnosis
but right now, i just can't think of anything good

i know you all like your autism and i don't mean to say it's a bad thing
and i'm not trying to offend anyone

hopefully, one day soon i'll realise the good things like all of you (:

You know what is important here? You have stated that you "really do want to discover the good things." That is an important start. This says you want to find the good things. This search for the gifts can take some time. If you want to find your "good" things, let's start with a simple question. What are your interests/hobbies?

I am one of the first to admit that autism has presented some incredible challenges in my life. And I have posted to The Haven on occasion for help when I have felt really down. But when I feel down, I try to get into my interests and plan things like my HO scale model amusement park. I have even tried to come up with a planetarium show on the great comets of history. I know that the liklihood that this will ever materialize is slim, but the planning of this comet show is fun nonetheless. And it's this type of thing that can help us. It can show us the good/positives in our lives.

So in regards to one day soon hopefully finding the good things...you will get there. You have definitely taken the first step. And your attitude seems positive---because you want to find this "good."

I look forward to hearing back from you and seeing what your interests are. Thank you for posting.

Good to read your latest posts, Glider18.
I've been somewhat down, the past few days, so thought I would read through this thread again and instill some positivity.
I have had a mangled time with the real world the past couple of weeks - which tends to happen whenever I actually engage in it beyond the realm and perameters of my rather routined and regimented lifestyle.
So...I want to focus on some positive things.

1. I am working on some new ideas in my special interest.
2. A colleague (an old artist considered a true "great" in this country) emailed me and said she loved a big work of mine. I had sent her a jpeg. It was very nice to get this support and validation as my esteem is very low at present.
3. I have been walking very early in the mornings and the scenery is beautiful. lots of birds and a great view of the Border Ranges.
4. My home life is a lot more peaceful since I have been going to get help with my autism. I am not as stressed and i am not having so many meltdowns, which have been very difficult for those around me.
5. I have recently cleaned out my work area and this is a BIG challenge for me. IT feels good. I have altered the light in it and am managing to allow filtered natural light in, without it hurting too much, and without my sunglasses. I have the levels at the right place, so I can work better and not suffer with the glare and pain.


thanks for this thread Glider18. it is good to drop in and focus on it.

Thank you Millie, it's always good to hear from you. I have felt a little down lately too---I have to get this house cleaned up---there's clutter everywhere . I just moved some of the amusement park models home tonight from my parents' house. I hope this will refuel my desire to get the basement area cleared for the HO scale layout. It does help to read over other people's positives when we need a lift.

That sounds exciting about your artwork. I have a good feeling about that. I'm glad you haven't been as stressed lately---my problem lately has been anxiety. I may need to schedule an appointment with my therapist if it continues. The natural light concept of your work area sounds nice. With my models I have had to try to rely on a big old bright light which hurt my eyes, so then I started using a smaller light that wasn't so intense. But lighting is a challenge for these kinds of projects. I may have to experiment with your idea of natural light.

Again, thanks for posting. After reading your post awhile ago, it got me motivated to get the rest of those models moved so that I can make progress on the model layout in the basement. I wish you the best on achieving your goals with your artwork. I hope to hear from you soon.

The weather here today is rainy and gloomy. And it's rather cool too. Sometimes it's nice to have a day where you have to stay inside. I still cannot believe it's summer break already. I have tried to accomplish a little something each day on the house and/or yard. Today I feel rather lazy. It's a good day to research on the internet. Where many people might be bored and not know what to do on a rainy day like this, we with obsessive AS interests can absorb ourselves into our little sunny worlds of fascination. How many of you like a rainy day where you can stay inside and explore your interests? What kinds of things do you like to research?

Oh, me! My special interest at the moment is AS. I just got a book by Digby Tantum, which is all about autism and the latest research on non-verbal communication. It looks quite interesting, but unfortunately I haven´t had time to read it yet...just got back from Avignon, and I have too much to do at work. Hopefully on Sunday I can read....

^ I'm thinking of ordering that. Let us know what you think of it.

OK, will do! I still haven´t had time to start it....

I also ordered the book "Mirroring People", which is about mirror neurons, the so-called "empathy neurons". Unfortunately, there´s a problem with my order, so I´m still waiting for it! I think it´s been lost in the mail...

Anyway, I´ll be in touch.

Those sound like interesting books Morgana. I hope the one arrives soon and is not lost in the mail. I went to a large bookstore a few months ago and found a huge selection of books on AS/autism---I got a Temple Grandin book. But the array of books was almost too overwhelming to browse through, so I left before giving them all a fair look. I would love to hear from you on how you like the one you are getting ready to start---it sounds most fascinating. Like you, AS has become one of my special interests. It's fun to learn about ourselves and research into this incredible "difference."