Is WP attracting too many of the wrong people

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syrella
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07 May 2011, 9:52 am

MrLoony wrote:
syrella wrote:
MrLoony wrote:
I love the summer nights we get here (as long as they're not too hot), and I love walking by the river. I would have a couple of problems with going for a walk at night. I'm not going to go into all of them (they're practical reasons), but I am rather afraid of getting mugged... or serial killers (I get mistaken for a woman a lot, so I have more reason to fear them than most guys).

I'd probably enjoy going out more alone at night if I hadn't watched so many murder-mystery and crime documentaries on TV when I was younger. :lol:


For me, it comes from personal experience. I was mugged a few years ago (four, I think). It wasn't a pleasant experience, and I'd rather not relive it.

Eep. I'm thankful that hasn't happened to me. I don't really know how I'd react in such a situation.


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07 May 2011, 10:05 am

Well, for me, the reaction was falling to the ground with massive amount of pain in the back of my head (Edit: I can make jokes about it, but I'd rather have not had that experience, and I most certainly don't want anyone here to go through it). I'd actually like to see studies about what most muggings are like. I don't think they're usually like in the movies (someone brandishing a knife or a gun and demanding the person's wallet). Muggers, to me, seem like a cowardly lot, more likely to try to disable someone and run off with whatever they can carry than to confront them.

But we're getting off-topic...


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07 May 2011, 12:48 pm

It's off-topic, that's true, but I can't resist mentioning that the one time I was mugged, when crossing a large and almost deserted patch of ground in London, some time in the 1980s, I was lucky, because, even though I am weedy and nerdy, and have barely enough muscles to flex my fingers, the guy who tried to mug me was in no better shape! He was evidently drugged with some substance which made him lethargic and uncoordinated. (Probably a LOT of weed.) He came up to me suddenly, and demanded something (I forget what, money probably), I refused, and he grabbed me, but there was no real aggression in him. He was probably a nice enough chap, down on his luck. I barely even remember what happened, it was all so inconsequential. (Contrast this with the many sadistic verbal "muggings" I have suffered since around 1979, vivid memories of which regularly wake me up in the mornings, and torment me unbearably.) If I remember right, I somehow managed to trip him up, or throw him, quite gently, and he ended up on the ground, looking a bit sad (at least, that's how I picture it, but I can no longer even remember what he looked like, except for a faint impression that he may have been Rastafarian), and I walked away. It was a more comical than frightening experience, and there wasn't even any delayed shock afterwards. If only all muggings were like that!


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07 May 2011, 1:39 pm

leejosepho wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
littlelily613 wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
I would suspect that many people are self-diagnosed because there seems to be a lotta "mild" aspergers going around here. So many people claiming to have mild aspergers ...
Theres the thought, what is wrong with me? Then they read about aspergers and think they have aspergers.

I knew someone who had self-diagnosed themselves and it turns out they had a bad case of social anxiety

Yes, I think that is happens frequently. I do think a lot of people are right, but I also know a lot of people who have turned out to be wrong. A lot of the symptoms overlap with over conditions for different reasons. Also, some other conditions are misunderstood or more stigmatized (around here, it is probably more acceptable to be autistic than to have ADHD, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, etc).

What's wrong with mild Asperger's? What about other mild conditions? Is there anything wrong with mild schizophrenia or mild dyspraxia or mild ADD, or mild dyslexia or mild retardation or mild Bipolar or mild asthma, etc?

I don't understand why mild is a bad thing.

I agree, and yet I think the real problem here is simply a matter of the term "mild" not always meaning the same thing to everyone at the same time. For example:

There is no such thing as a "mild pregnancy" even though pregnancy might effect some people more "mildly" than others. So then, someone either has AS/HFA or s/he does not, and how "mild" his or her case might seem is really only a matter of how each of our lives is affected by having it at all.



I did have a mild pregnancy. :wink: I was never on bed rest, didn't have any complications and I worked till I had the baby. Sure I got some back discomforts and my legs would get sore but I dealt with it and worked through it. But I realize it may be worse for others so they can't do it and need to rest more and are more limited. Some even have to take early maternity leave. But I was still pregnant despite some of the discomforts. A person still has AS despite some of their impairments. Only thing that causes the impairments is ignorance and when people are ignorant, it effects the aspie. Same as when they discriminate. It impairs the aspie so they are forced to milk off the system. And they say mild aspies aren't impaired? Geez I must be lazy then. But when you are pregnant, you get more sympathy and accommodations because you have the belly.


Dinosaw I am saying what's wrong with mild AS because people seem to be against it. I didn't mean what is wrong with them being here.



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07 May 2011, 4:49 pm

I know I've gone at least a month without leaving the house, but I live with other people who also do the leaving and purchasing. I do have to admit that I tend to shape my life around leaving as rarely as possible.

I'm not agoraphobic nor do I have social anxiety. I thought I had both, but not really.

I do have significant trouble with new situations and insufficient preparation for those situations, however.



Dinosaw
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07 May 2011, 6:10 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Dinosaw I am saying what's wrong with mild AS because people seem to be against it. I didn't mean what is wrong with them being here.


Thanks for the explanation, I hope I didn't come across as confrontational, that wasn't my intention, I just wanted clarification because I thought the latter interpretation was your intention, not the former, but I had my doubts. Now I know better. Thanks again.

BTW, congrats on the child, I'm glad the pregnancy was 'low impact' and I wish you the best with the joys of parenting.


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08 May 2011, 5:18 pm

Verdandi wrote:
littlelily613 wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
I would suspect that many people are self-diagnosed because there seems to be a lotta "mild" aspergers going around here. So many people claiming to have mild aspergers. NTs can face difficulties in social situations and distress due to other reasons/conditions. Just cause someones NT doesnt mean they cant be ackward. Theres the thought, what is wrong with me? Then they read about aspergers and think they have aspergers.

I knew someone who had self-diagnosed themselves and it turns out they had a bad case of social anxiety


Yes, I think that is happens frequently. I do think a lot of people are right, but I also know a lot of people who have turned out to be wrong. A lot of the symptoms overlap with over conditions for different reasons. Also, some other conditions are misunderstood or more stigmatized (around here, it is probably more acceptable to be autistic than to have ADHD, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, etc).


Oh, damnit. I'm autistic, have ADHD, anxiety, and depression.

Am I fashionable or unfashionable?


Same, although the anxiety is not 'officially' dx'd, but my GP wrote it in a report for me so does that mean it's dx'd? (diagnosed AS, ADHD, and Major Depression - cyclic). Perhaps we're both unfashionable?

I think that most self-dx'd people with AS are probably right, I understand the feeling of suddenly having all the pieces fit all too well (I self-dx'd myself from a book before my parents took me to see the psychiatrist who dx'd me, didn't know about WP back then, not sure it was around yet - I was 12). Regarding myself I have trouble accepting I have anything unless I've been officially diagnosed with it. I think it's one of those rules/structure/rigidity things. I wonder if others who discriminate against self-dx'd people are simply trying to enforce their own ASD rigidity/black and white thinking onto other people's situations.


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09 May 2011, 10:08 am

Even though sometimes socially awkward people might misdiagnose themselves with AS... I welcome them to be amongst us Aspies. They may have more in common with us than with other neurotypicals. We lack any right to turn them away because we're suspicious they may be "pseudo-aspie".



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09 May 2011, 11:12 am

Daredevil-Aspie wrote:
Even though sometimes socially awkward people might misdiagnose themselves with AS... I welcome them to be amongst us Aspies. They may have more in common with us than with other neurotypicals. We lack any right to turn them away because we're suspicious they may be "pseudo-aspie".

I tend to agree, and if, for the sake of argument, I do NOT have AS, somehow with the problems I experience from day to day I certainly feel that I relate better to people here than anywhere else.

One of the most horrible things I have to deal with is when asking for money. I've gotten a little behind in my billing, and my students don't always make it home with the invoice. So here it is at the end of the year and I'm going back over my books to make sure everyone is paid-up. Every time I punch in someone's phone number, I freeze before I hit "send." And when the phone starts ringing, I really do hope that the person I'm calling does NOT answer. It's not that these are mean people. If their child quits piano, depending on the child, it's not like I really care whether they keep going with their lessons. I just don't like talking to people outside my closest circle of friends and family--and I'm talking about MAYBE 4 or 5 people. It's intense anxiety, and it's totally unproductive. I'd almost just rather do without the money, but I have bills to pay, too.

I once dated an NT who was born with albinism. She was a perfectly wonderful young lady, but because of her condition she was legally blind. So she had the same problems as aspies in that she couldn't read body language or discern sarcasm/jokes, and she had a really difficult time telling the difference between friendly people messing with her and people who were just downright mean. So she grew to have a kind of resentful attitude towards people in general that only broke when she went to college. As a music major, she fell into a college crowd that typically maintains a sense of community that doesn't concern itself with skin color (or lack thereof!) and other shallow kinds of attributes. Her table manners were atrocious, too, because she'd never been taught to be aware of other people in the room--and I'm talking about an 18-19 year old who eats spaghetti with her fingers. I actually had to TELL her she was doing something that people "just don't do" in public. She also had a nasty habit of "talking back" to professors. It was her understanding that when someone asks/tells you something, you respond. Well, that's true--but a "yessir/nosir" question doesn't require a conversation to answer! (I struggle with this one, too) Once I pulled her aside and pointed out that her professor was getting EXTREMELY annoyed, she was, like, "Oooooh, ok. Won't do that again."

Her problems resulted from a physical condition, the near-blindness, as well as the psychological effects of being made fun of most of her life and not knowing how to respond to it. If you overlook albinism and her eye defect, you might immediately think of her as an aspie. Same symptoms, just different causes. I envy her because I could point out when she was behaving inappropriately and she'd correct herself in completely natural ways. I'm 33 years old now and have lost three professional teaching gigs because I just can't seem to "get it," no matter what I do. Now, I suck at accounting, and it's a good thing I don't bring in that much money from my piano-teaching business. However, with help (like maybe offering free lessons in exchange for a parent taking care of my billing for me) I could grow and expand what I do and make as much or more money as I could at a "job-job." In all this time I've just never been able to kick the anxieties that interfere with necessary interactions with other people. It's different when I'm teaching, because I go into piano-genius mode and just be myself. But talking to other people outside that context? Just kill me now!

Anyway... Gotta make some phone calls before I have a heart-attack! A place like WP is almost perfect for someone like my ex-gf, even though her issues don't result from a neurological condition.



Beabe
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09 May 2011, 7:19 pm

Luci wrote:
Beabe wrote:
I think if you think you might have it then you should just get yourself checked. You may think you have it but you are not a doctor. Plus if you get checked and have it then you can get help with thing within the syndrome that cause you problems. There is also the chance that you may not have it and have something else or nothing at all. I don't really get why people will claim for years they have it but go undiagnosed. I mean there is just as much chance you could be wrong. Self diagnosing of the internet or books isn't the best. Its like people having a cough checking the symptoms online and thinking they have tb. Not as bad as that but I don't really believe in Self diagnosis.


People here have many times explained why they don't get an official diagnosis - the most common reasons have seemed (to me) to be:
- It's expensive
- The doctor could be less knowledgeable on the subject
those are pretty weak reasons.



syrella
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09 May 2011, 7:28 pm

Beabe wrote:
Luci wrote:
Beabe wrote:
I think if you think you might have it then you should just get yourself checked. You may think you have it but you are not a doctor. Plus if you get checked and have it then you can get help with thing within the syndrome that cause you problems. There is also the chance that you may not have it and have something else or nothing at all. I don't really get why people will claim for years they have it but go undiagnosed. I mean there is just as much chance you could be wrong. Self diagnosing of the internet or books isn't the best. Its like people having a cough checking the symptoms online and thinking they have tb. Not as bad as that but I don't really believe in Self diagnosis.


People here have many times explained why they don't get an official diagnosis - the most common reasons have seemed (to me) to be:
- It's expensive
- The doctor could be less knowledgeable on the subject
those are pretty weak reasons.

Not really. Many people with AS are unemployed or underemployed. Money IS an issue, even if it isn't for you.

Doctors not being knowledgeable about AS is also an issue, especially concerning females on the spectrum. There is a lot of ignorance out there and I'd venture that autism is poorly understood, even among professionals who claim to know best.

There are other valid reasons as well that have been spoken about on these forums. Suffice to say that there are disadvantages to getting diagnosed in some cases.


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09 May 2011, 7:53 pm

Beabe wrote:
Luci wrote:
Beabe wrote:
I think if you think you might have it then you should just get yourself checked. You may think you have it but you are not a doctor. Plus if you get checked and have it then you can get help with thing within the syndrome that cause you problems. There is also the chance that you may not have it and have something else or nothing at all. I don't really get why people will claim for years they have it but go undiagnosed. I mean there is just as much chance you could be wrong. Self diagnosing of the internet or books isn't the best. Its like people having a cough checking the symptoms online and thinking they have tb. Not as bad as that but I don't really believe in Self diagnosis.


People here have many times explained why they don't get an official diagnosis - the most common reasons have seemed (to me) to be:
- It's expensive
- The doctor could be less knowledgeable on the subject
those are pretty weak reasons.


MrLoony wrote:
I self-diagnosed a couple of years ago while I was writing an essay about autism (the topic was of my choosing) for my English 101 class (autism is the first special interest that I recognized as such). A few weeks later, my mother informed me that, when I was very young, I was suspected of autism. My dad managed to convince her that there was no need for them to seek out a diagnosis for me.

I've never sought out a professional diagnosis because... well... why should I care what others think? "I don't need to fight to prove I'm right." I know I'm right and that's what matters.


It's really just not worth the effort in most cases. Instead of asking why people don't get professionally diagnosed, why don't you list a good reason why someone would?

And let's not forget the assumption that doctors have all the knowledge in the world when it comes to health. It really shocks me how many people think that doctors know everything about the human body. There's a reason doctors specialize, and doctors that aren't specialists in an area can lack considerable knowledge in that area. As much (or even more) than self-taught autistics. I have read a lot of stories of people going in to be diagnosed and the doctor dismissing autism because of ignorance on their part.


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09 May 2011, 8:30 pm

MyWorld wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
And also if you're in the UK, they can take your kids so the only way to prevent that is don't get diagnosed.

Also I have read that you aren't allowed to adopt if you are on the spectrum.

And of course if you don't want to deal with ignorance, don't get diagnosed.


League-Girl, I've read an article here on WP about how some woman in UK who had Aspergers had her child taken away because they thought she would neglect and abuse her. I did not think that that situation was that common in UK. I live in US, so I don't know what laws in UK are related to people with autism spectrum disorders.


This is why I don't bother. I don't live in the UK, but I live in a very ignorant place. I actually had to get a psychiatrist's note to drive a car because I checked off on my license application that I was treated for mental illness (depression). One of my greatest nightmares is some idiot taking my boy from me and putting him with a family of ignoramuses. I am fortunate that people here are familiar with me (he has been in treatment since he was just over a year) and the level of care my son receives, and it's never been an issue.



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09 May 2011, 8:31 pm

Beabe wrote:
Luci wrote:
People here have many times explained why they don't get an official diagnosis - the most common reasons have seemed (to me) to be:
- It's expensive
- The doctor could be less knowledgeable on the subject
those are pretty weak reasons.


Beabe, you are kidding, right? Lack of money is a weak reason for not getting a diagnosis? Wow, if you are serious, I dare say you have probably written the most thoughtless post within this entire thread.


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09 May 2011, 8:43 pm

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, nobody, even a professional, can diagnose over the internet based on somebody else's posts. Ergo, any attempt to claim, insinuate, or imply that someone else shouldn't be here, is "the wrong person" for this site, whatEVER, based on a self-diagnosis, is nothing but BS. A person can be professionally MISdiagnosed, or ACCURATELY self-diagnosed, and it is not in any of our capabilities to determine what is the case for other posters. {/rant]

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09 May 2011, 9:38 pm

Anybody can become a member of WrongPlanet. We all come from "different walks of life".