Aspergers and victim complex

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IMO the difference between an aspie with a victim complex and one without one is whether or not the aspie believes he or she has a developmental disorder, or a disability; developmental disorder implies someone didn't develop certain skills naturally and without help the way most children do (implying the right external resources and persistence can help considerably). Disability implies "unable", as in "I will never be good at juggling tasks and becoming a spontaneous problem solver at work...if I worked my butt off for a year I would only be better at it by an inch". Or "my traumatic childhood experiences will never allow me to be handle rejection, or take risks with people that may not work out, I would simply lose it if something wrong." Having normal and healthy relationships, or being employed to a level that reflects one's intelligence, in a way most NTs do, is harder, but it's not impossible per say...and achieving something close to that as a reflection commitment and assertiveness is just as healthy as achieving those.

On the other side, I strongly dislike the "get over it" demands or allusions; it's a completely short-sighted and ineffective ( or at most temporary) way to help someone take on whatever problem they're having: it implies that the person doesn't have a backbone, and it leaves the person thinking "I really don't have it that bad, so there is something wrong with me if I feel negatively about how frustrating this is." I think it's better to focus on how to fix the problem. If executing the "how" is not happening, why? What thought process is getting in the way of the person executing a plan to get better, and if it's flawed, what's the more realistic thinking in that scenario? Ultimately, I think the intent in these "quit your b****in" type of comments comes from someone who wants to feel high and mighty.

Full disclosure I didn't read the more recent posts, this isn't directed towards any of the recent posters on this thread.

wrong,I got a GF this year.People do like me,stop using shaming tactics.

How is that shaming? Also didn't you make a very unhealthy thread about your feelings for your "girlfriend" recently?

yeah i think she expressed her emotions a few too many times and "lost status" so that now she's only a "quasi-girlfriend"--isn't that right, bill?

Yes,I did.The point is I got a GF.Even though she's a terrible
girlfriend,but a good friend. Me and her are ''separate''
for now Until she's start being more respectful towards
me,I might hook up with her again.

hale,olive,others she started the crap,this is not my fault.

He ranked them, too. He got a girlfriend and quickly tired of her because she wasn't happy all the time, and he ranks the other possible girlfriends. Just like all the other men who struggle with getting a date.

SHE needs to be more respectful to YOU????? that's rich, pal, judging by the way you've talked about her. if you think her having feelings of her own means she "disrespects" you then maybe you're not ready for an adult relationship and it's better if you are by yourself until you learn what respect actually means.

Yes,pretty much. I do like her,but she needs to be better GF.
It's not my fault,she had to get mad at me.

PaulHubert" wrote:

I think this does make sense, but it is a little too black and white, not the whole picture and does not apply in all instances. For instance a disabled person may cling to thinking he is disabled for psychological reasons and therefore not make efforts. This is not his fault per se if he was conditioned this way, but his mindset may keep him from making efforts.


I would agree.

Possibly so, but it could be a kind of game from either end, not just one,and I don't recall the Op telling anyone to stop doing it. Though the tone of her message could possibly be taken as telling people to stop, I did not get that out of it. She did ask this question. I do not really see anyone trying to answer it.

OP wrote;

It IS hard for some people to do. Why? Don't some people get stuck on having an image of themselves as being disabled, whether they are or not, and if they are stuck in this way, won't this affect how disabled they are?. I think it is a terrible feeling to be disabled, I have something very wrong with my brain...part of it is brain damage, but much more than that, However if I dwell on it I am pulled into a pit. I had this experience on another thread when I played the disabled card, which I rarely do, but did that one time, and it started to pull me into a pit. I think in my case what happened was really extreme, but anyway, the minute I start to think about being autistic it exaggerates the affect, maybe not for everyone, but for me,and I am betting for a lot of people.. I even coined a term for it some time back."the autism amplification affect." In fact it is even upsetting me to be writing this.

Last edited by littlebee on 27 Apr 2014, 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

is it at all possible, do you think, that she may have gotten angry with you because you were treating her like a subhuman?

Why are people bringing other threads into this thread to bicker over?

You just want to blame me for everything.I treated
her with respect,it's not my fault,she's a terrible girlfriend.

Leftist shaming tactics? I can't figure out whether that means you're being told off for wearing expensive loafers or there's people outside your house demanding you pay your workers.

No joking, though, bill, you do say truly awful things about women. I'm not surprised your gf isn't treating you the way you want, you've got unrealistic ideas about women and relationships.

just from the way you write about her on this forum, i can guarantee you did not treat her with respect. you can't even speak of her to others with any respect; i seriously doubt the treatment she got from you directly was any better.

Could he be writing that way about her because of the way she treats him? I always think of the other way around.

I haven't been following his posts so I have not seen him writing about his GF.

if you had read them, you wouldn't be asking this question.