You Might be an Aspie if...

Post Reply New Topic

You got hit in the face with a basketball every school year until you were no longer obliged to take gym class.

True story.

Talking to yourself often seems like the only way to have an intelligent conversation.

You have a conversation with an NT about how stupid most TV shows are, and they seem to be an ally and agree with you on all points, but then at the end of the conversation say something like, "My favorite show is coming on," and turn the TV on.

You stand most of the time while playing a sport in gym.

You stim the whole time during free days in gym class.

You're mom makes you hang out with friends, but you do your own activity alone and happen to be next to your friend.

YMBAAI...

On finding this forum, you take the time to read all 124 pages of this thread, despite the fact that some of the posts are five years old, simply because this is the first time you've gone onto an Aspie forum and want to know more about what in your behaviour is/isn't a symptom of AS.

Also, hi

You write something on here realizing you didnt explain yourself well enough so it gets interpreted all wrong from the original way you meant it by 3 different people or more.

YMBAAI:

The worst aspect of a car accident is not the damage, the injury or the shock...

You curse the existence of hit and run laws.

You open envelopes by tearing away a corner then sliding your finger down the short end to tear an opening. Every time you do this you remember who you learned it from, a girl from a relationship that soured, who you wish you could forget.

You can hardly ever play a game of chess on your computer without remembering a stupid argument you had with another girl from a relationship that turned sour (Look up b____ in the dictionary and you'll see her picture) where you had lost most of your pieces and she was lecturing you about never giving up and you were trying to say how the situation was impossible cause you simply lacked the resources to be able to win, and if you were smart enough to win from that situation you would have gotten into it in the first place, but she just kept going on with the hokum that you should never give up, the other person might make a mistake. And you say they'd have to be a total idiot.

You wonder why the saying, look up such and such term in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of a certain person, is so popular because most dictionaries don't have illustrations.

if you use really bad metaphors to describe everything

You might be an aspie if...

you had to put the words "you might be an aspie" at the beginning of your post because you know it would have been grammatically incorrect to begin with "If".

you said something to a friend that caused him to smirk, and when you asked him if he was smirking at you, he responds "No, I just saw something funny on the floor." Since you fully believed his statement, you begin to ponder what sort of amusing thing he could have seen on the floor. Then he tells you that he was kidding.

your family goes on vacation in Disney World, Florida, and you refuse to take off your fleece jacket the entire time.

you cannot get through 24 hours without making something crash, bang, or bump.

you notice that one particular joke or comment is successful once with any certain person, so you repeat that comment the next day...to the same person.

you wonder if you're not an aspie at all just because you don't fit every single symptom.

you would rather take an extra science or math course than gym.

you're one of the only teenagers you know who doesn't want to drive.

You might be an Aspie if...

...you've ever written a grocery list, critiqued what you wrote, and then re-written it four times with various modifications included such as the approximate cost of each item and how many of each you plan to purchase, then carefully separated everything into categories like "produce," and "hygiene."

...you ever sat down with a pen and paper and figured up how many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months are in a century.

...you retreat into a ready-made fantasy world inside your head when the real world gets too confusing and upsetting.

...people hang up on you when you start talking about your current favorite topic, pretend the call got lost, then quickly change the subject.

...you look at people's mouths instead of their eyes when they're talking.

...you automatically make words out of the jumble of letters and numbers on license plates.

...everyone always tells you how intelligent you are, and you say thank you while secretly feeling like a fraud because you think you're dumb since you always seem to be two steps behind everyone else.

...you can effortlessly remember phone numbers, birth dates, death dates, anniversary dates, social security numbers, credit card numbers, security codes, addresses, zip codes, driver's license numbers, etc., but repeatedly flunk intermediate algebra because you can't even force your brain to contemplate problems like 23x9y - 31y = -41x^6, much less solve them.

...you feel like the black sheep of the family.

...the only thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase "small talk" is "the weather."

...you're embarrassed to answer ambiguous questions like, "So what do you do for fun?" because you don't want the asker to think you're a weirdo when you say things like, "study neurology," "research alternative cancer treatments," or "read historical accounts of life in medieval Russia."

...others stare at you in amazement when you openly admit that you've never been to a nightclub or to a party involving more than three people you didn't know, and the looks on their faces prompt you to make a mental note to never mention it again to anyone.

...you sometimes give up on romantic relationships and friendships before you start them, feeling that you'd rather quit while you're ahead than watch yourself inadvertently ruin another one.

...you write fourteen responses to an open-ended sentence like, "You might be an Aspie if..."

I think I've got a decent one, but it's longer than one sentence, so I feel almost wrong in posting it (it's not following the pattern, see), which is a sign already, but here...

On Tuesday my professor asked the class if any of us had ever made it about halfway through a sentence and stopped, realizing what we were saying was not appropriate. No hands were raised, as my classmates have to be beaten to share opinions. Or maybe they are perfect. I didn't raise my hand, either, but after a few seconds I looked at my prof and said, "I didn't raise my hand because I get all the way through the sentence". And frankly, I usually don't figure it out then. God bless blatent honesty and the inability to leave a question unanswered.

... You frequently find yourself standing somewhere not because you need to be there, but because the previous event which just occurred is usually followed by something involving the place you are currenltly at.

YMBAAI

... you referred to the fact that "WITTGENSTEIN said/did so" as the ultimate proof of merit in an argument

YMBAAI

your electronics don't work because you drop them.

you get tired of people misquoting movie lines.

You know more about history than current events.