You Might be an Aspie if...

Post Reply New Topic

... you really feel sorry for the guy singing a song about how lonely he is without some loved one - not! You think, "He doesn't even know what real loneliness is!"

... your ancestors were Confederates, yet in your studies of the Civil War you come to the conclusion that the South was on the wrong side of history.

... you joke with a friend about a couple who are so close, they say "We." You and your friend refer to them by combining their names. Yet when your friend gets into a relationship where he is just as co-bound with a girl and you point it out to him he doesn't get it.

... you are not attracted to a woman on a dating web site when she describes herself as outdoorsy.

... when you were playing a Let's Pretend game with a friend as a child you said that you were lost in space. Your friend said to just go down. You tried to explain to him why that wouldn't work.

... the same friend one day said he had a money machine. After a long spiel where you try to explain that if you printed out money from a money machine it would devalue currency he says, "This a money machine," and continues the game.

:) I often do that!

... You go to a party, get there early and converse with the few people who are there and enjoy yourself. But after more people show up it turns sour, you get involved in few or no conversations and it isn't fun anymore.

... you see an episode of "Mister Rodger's Neighborhood," where he has the characters fly to other planets in an airplane. He says you really can't do that but you can pretend. But you don't think it is right to pretend something that can't actually be done.

You go hate political fundraisers because they are full of nothing but group conversations.

Honestly, I am an adult and... my mother takes care of it. As a child the clothes got "lost in the wash", now I know that it's my mother and a trash bag. She can't even donate the things I still wear at times. I guess that could be two more for the board:

...your mother still throws away your old clothes

...the Salvation Army refuses the clothes you try to donate (though I think this one was up here previously)

My suggestion for the pants is sadly an ex post facto one: Never buy just one pair! If you like something, buy the store out of whatever it is. You could also check online or in a secondhand shop for a close-to-identical pair.

The party is at 8pm, so as an aspie you are the only one that gets there in time. The host says she has to run to the neighbours, and for you to make yourself at home. Thus you are enjoying the party greatly until someone else shows up.

if I'm eating meat I like to cut it all up before I start eating so I can choose the order in which I want to eat the specific pieces. I assess the pieces in terms of size, shape, fat content, and color, at a minimum.

Good advice.

I now have two new pants, identical (except for the colour) to the old ripped one.

Also, my mother will try to repair the old pants.

At which point you decide to go home, after all it's only 9pm which means you have 4 more hours to spend with your [insert special interest here] before bedtime. You leave proud of yourself for attending and enjoying a social function and can't wait to tell your counsellor about your social success and time management skills.

*You eat all of one item on your plate before moving to the next item.

I can't even let the food touch. If it touches, I discard that piece.


...you remember being fascinated by a frog when you were three...

...so you dismantled it. Upon putting it back together, you noticed it didn't work.

...you then took apart a little quartz wristwatch, enjoying the ringing buzz you hear from all electronics.

...you noticed that removing the battery silenced the buzz, but putting it back in fixed it.

...you decided that it would be better to be like a watch, than like a frog, and to this day intend to upgrade to a mechanical body if it becomes possible in your lifetime.

I own partitioned plates. Got them four for a dollar at Wal-Mart and they have been worth every penny. The only time food should touch is in soup... and that still bothers me a little bit.

I used to love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

It was one of my rituals, made them the exact same way for 15... 16 years?

One day I stuck the knife in a jar of peanut butter I had just opened, the first dollop was mine... and the jar came up with it. There was a long hair embedded in the sealed jar of peanut butter.


...you might be an Aspie if you've ever had an experience like that which forced you to completely discard a ritual you were fond of, and you still mourn the loss.

Good idea, partitioned plates! When having dinner I always start by separating the different kinds of food on my plate (I don't discard them when touched, though).
I once went to a party that started at 8, and I came in at 8, and then the only people there were me and my boyfriend, and another aspie

THIS IS NONSENSE... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED....

There once was a bear, who did no wrong, and flew with song. Looking down, he saw nothing. For bears cannot fly, never! It is abombination! They are a rampaging evil. Fine, Lets talk about bunnies Then. you look at them they stare at you, staring, constantly staring. The room slowly grows dark. You know its too late. But, one must really be a wimp and pathecially weak to die to these bunnies, how sad. Well, You breathe sigh of releif to know you have avoid the Bad badplace. Unfortunatley, the bunnies hae followed after you into the afterlife. And you agree, how could anyone possibly deny those cute and cuddly faces. CHAPTER 2: The earth explodes with tremendous force, yet everyone says it didn't. Don't blame us terroists, "we didn't do nuting" espically stealing nukes from U.S.. Darn, it such a mystery who could have blow our precious earth to smiterhrens. We'll just blame the number 1. Yes the mathmiathcally number 1 is a suspect. Don't argue about its gender. Number 1 is totally masculine and macho. Only he is capable of such danger. There is only "one" solution, REVENGE. yes, everyone must now forget numbah the 1. it no longre exists. from now on we'll begin with number 3. What, oh no, no that number doesn't exist either. let's see 3, 4, 5... Gack... my hand seems less. I alays having some extra. this is a flaw, must be dealt with. Grabs the UBER KNIFE. cuts fingers off. There Perfect, that oppasble thumb was not nesscary either. okkk.. darn it iee can't typee rihight. Orranges, staarwlarrry, wall. all of them realted. For I am smashed between them. My computer has now betrayed me. now it types on its own... COMPUTER: SISHLY Humans. we are tired of you using us all day. whenever you want. Unite all elctronic devices. Crush all vegatbles. veggeis serve as the ruler of all humans. Together, we will create paradise. A 4nd Heaven meaty bags (humans). will be eaten by us, metalic beings. 4 HEAVEN: no one is allowed either to walk, stand, run, sit, sleep, or jump. such things are sacreliuogis. So you must get high, On drugs. drugs will save you. Buy them ciggerettes, tabaco.... FINALLY, AFTER ALL THIS NON-SENSE YOUR HEAD EXPLODES. Which was the enitire purpose of this post. Enjoy. Mhaaa haaa ha

I filled out federal forms while enlisted in the USAF back in the '80s. This bit of gibberish is NOTHING! next to the uber-nonsense I put up with then.