"You can't be autistic, you can speak/write/have a job"

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You don't have to accept anything without questioning.
You can say what you think, and others are free to disagree with you.
When others disagree with me, I don't automatically think that they hate me, or I can't question what they say.
Of course I can question it, and I do.

I have trouble with the 'autism isn't a disability' attitude as well. The DSM-V states that it must cause significant impairment in functioning (as determined by a qualified professional) - so I agree that people who are perfectly functional and happy, and whimsically decide to 'embrace their autism' (without a diagnosis) are just as guilty of spreading misconceptions.

But that's really not the typical story we see on this forum. Typically what happens is that people talk about having struggled all their lives with symptoms that really do fit the pattern of autism - at least enough to raise concern. And the fact that they have struggled with these symptoms indicates that they need support, and compassion - not to have their concerns casually dismissed by someone who has never even met them.

If someone comes here seeking support, then they have my support. Whether or not they fully meet the criteria for autism is not for me to decide. But I just don't see how people coming here, and relating to our problems, harms us in any way.

Yes I have & I even thought about doing that at one time but the risk is just too high for me even for what may look like a minor mistake could be deadly.

Hi Ezra, I don't hate you either (and never did). I was a bit frustrated at first but I mistook your meaning. Thank you for explaining your position, that helps a lot. I hope there are no hard feelings. I am probably overly sensitive about my diagnosis because it's still pretty new (6 months ago) and because it took so many months just to find a psychologist who knew anything about ASD.

Don't be afraid to voice your opinions--we may get crabby and talk back, but it's okay to have debates. I can see what you mean about people using the "autistic" word the wrong way, just to mean quirky or awkward, and distorting public perception of it. I do see it as a disability and not just a quirk--and that's okay. Disability is not a bad word to me, it just means we need a little accommodation.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist next week, and he is supposed to have a lot of experience with ASD. I'm also starting my first social skills class next week! It seems a little silly at age 50, but it would be kind of nice to be able to ask someone, "what do I do when X happens?" without someone thinking I'm nuts.

This is really my fault. My overall reading comprehension isn't all that great because I am a very slow reader and often have to reread stuff. And since I am also impatient, I am usually not willing to spend that much time reading long threads thoroughly enough and will give my 2 cents worth based on the title of the thread or I will limit my comment to one or two posts in a thread. On another forum recently someone was really annoying others with what they were saying, and then telling everyone they need to go back and read the posts better. I told that person the problem was not with the readers, but with the authoring. And it seems only fair that I apply that to myself as well.

In the movie Silent Fall, the doctor who specialized in autism said something like, "Do you know who really understands autism? Nobody". And I agree with that.

I was told by the so-called experts that I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent to have anything on the spectrum & they were also impressed with the fact that i had a high-school diploma even thou I had accommodations cuz I've been diagnosed with dyslexia & ADD sense I started kindergarten.

I suppose I can say i'm affected by the stereotype but I am also caught in between a rock and a hard place in the sense that if I don't reveal my diagnosis/condition I will be treated as a normal person and will be expected to jump through the hoops from whoever will employ me in a job (when I get a job). If I do reveal it either before or during a job I will either be turned down for alot of jobs because I will be seen as weak in social situations, office politics, taking things too literally, speaking too softly and so many other things, or I will be thrown in the deep end, forced to seek advice and get Access to Work benefits that also forces the employer to make changes and that makes me feel dishonest, embarrassed and out of my comfort zone - including alot of anxiety in the process. I'm not exactly a talkative one either, I can't be expected to say hello, thank you, goodbye to everyone and I mostly stay in my room avoiding conversations.

Rant over

I am also very fond of Piaget. In my opinion Piaget had Asperger, too, btw.

You have to be careful about extrapolating the present into the past. History can be very non-linear.

Schools and parents today are hypochondriacs compared to the parents of the 1970's and '80s. A kid pretty much was "hyperactive" (and would be assumed to grow out of it) or mentally ret*d and that was about it. Maybe there could also be emotional disturbance. Virtually all the kids with labels were in special ed. Labels were a bad thing, and a parent wouldn't want one for their kid unless it was absolutely necessary.

I once met a woman who had severe dyslexia and it was somehow missed or ignored. It's stupid and mind-boggling, but it happened.

I was suicidal through most of high school and no one picked up on it, not even the psychology teacher. There was another kid who killed himself and no one saw that coming, either. It wasn't hard to fall between the cracks.

It was a different time with different worries. Young kids used to run around neighborhoods unsupervised all the time.
Child abduction was probably not in the top ten things that most parents worried about, unlike today.

You have to be careful about extrapolating the present into the past. History can be very non-linear.

Schools and parents today are hypochondriacs compared to the parents of the 1970's and '80s. A kid pretty much was "hyperactive" (and would be assumed to grow out of it) or mentally ret*d and that was about it. Maybe there could also be emotional disturbance. Virtually all the kids with labels were in special ed. Labels were a bad thing, and a parent wouldn't want one for their kid unless it was absolutely necessary.

I once met a woman who had severe dyslexia and it was somehow missed or ignored. It's stupid and mind-boggling, but it happened.

I was suicidal through most of high school and no one picked up on it, not even the psychology teacher. There was another kid who killed himself and no one saw that coming, either. It wasn't hard to fall between the cracks.

It was a different time with different worries. Young kids used to run around neighborhoods unsupervised all the time.
Child abduction was probably not in the top ten things that most parents worried about, unlike today.

Proir to the mid 1970's special education was rare.

This following video is at some points noticably NT and condescending but accurately depicts the value system of the era.

Excellent column relating to this topic
You Don't Look Autistic by Leanne Libes written for The Art Of Autism