NT phrases or questions that drive you nuts!

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Joined: 7 May 2016
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12 Sep 2016, 12:33 pm

I like calm people in the business world. They don't get angry as often and they get things done, rather than yelling at people. Bright and bubbly is nice too, but sometimes it's so overkill that it's annoying. How about a little diversity in the hiring: bubbly, calm, warm, outgoing, quiet, ETC?

Luckily for you, the people doing the hiring are often different people than the ones writing the job descriptions, and they may not take that phrase literally. :-) sometimes, you have to get through the first level to get to the real decision-maker also.

CockneyRebel
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12 Sep 2016, 1:08 pm

FluttercordAspie93 wrote:

So, I guess you could say this is kind of related: 8 Things Not To Say To a Female With Aspergers.

I came across this a few days ago, and I found it pretty interesting.

I hate it when people ask me those questions. I'm transgender. Let me live my own life.

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momofmax
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12 Sep 2016, 2:26 pm

"How are you doing today?" That one drives, us, NTs crazy as well. On most days I've got something going on that is stressful, etc. Nobody wants to actually hear all about it. So I'm not even sure why it's asked. It's quite ridiculous. I have a friend from Germany. He says people in his country never ask that, because it's a lame thing to ask.

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naturalplastic
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12 Sep 2016, 4:29 pm

momofmax wrote:

Interesting that even NTs cant stand it.

And interesting that its not used in German.

So do the Germans have some equivalent greeting that less irksome (that we can imitate)?

Bushmaster
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12 Sep 2016, 7:39 pm

When someone from the hood comes up to you and says this:

"Yo whats up brah!" and you can here their bloody rap music blasting away in the background.

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12 Sep 2016, 8:22 pm

C2V wrote:

This drives me crazy - I'm trying to look for jobs, and practically every job stipulates "bright and bubbly."
I hate that expression. Hate it. I can't think of anything further from my demeanour than "bright and bubbly."
I'm not a manic depressive, but I'm described as anywhere from "disinterested" to "calm and zen."

Exactly the same for me. In addition, I usually find people who fit the description "bright and bubbly" tiring.

I can't stand it when people are described as for instance "quiet but smart" or "plain but kind", as if there was any contradiction or connection whatsoever between the two statements. The first one always makes me think of the phrase "It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt" or this one "Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people can appear smart until you hear them speak" :twisted:

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13 Sep 2016, 12:31 pm

Do you want to be seen as autistic or normal?

You wouldn't wear anything that says you're autistic, right? - Actually, I do wear a few things that say that I'm autistic.

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mashers
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13 Sep 2016, 12:44 pm

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if this has already been posted, but I'll post it anyway. This enrages me more than I can express in words:

"We're all a bit autistic."

No, we're not you buffoon. Being on the autism spectrum creates stresses and daily struggles that a NT can only try to comprehend. To say that "we're all autistic" undermines the significance of the daily struggle of many people with autism and is hugely offensive. It belittles a significant part of who we are and turns it into some kind of quirky personality trait that unthinking NTs want to lay claim to. I talked to a group of teachers and teaching assistants about this once, and I told them that to an autistic person, being told "we're all a bit autistic" is like telling someone who has just experienced racism that, "we're all a bit black." To say they were shocked would be an understatement.

People have done the same with the term 'OCD'. "Oh, I always put my coat back on the same hook. I'm so OCD about it!" Come back and see me when you count mouse button clicks to try to make the left and right equal, and have to look at every lamp post you walk past through both eyes because seeing out of the corner of one eye makes the other one feel unbalanced, and have to scratch your body symmetrically even if the other side doesn't need to be scratched, and feel strange and queasy if you press the home button on your phone with one thumb but not the other. THEN you can tell me you're "so OCD".

:evil:

momofmax
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13 Sep 2016, 3:44 pm

naturalplastic wrote:

momofmax wrote:

Interesting that even NTs cant stand it.

And interesting that its not used in German.

So do the Germans have some equivalent greeting that less irksome (that we can imitate)?

My German friend says that in Germany they consider it, both, dumb and rude because it's not anybody else's business what is going on in your life. Especially strangers. I'm not sure what their greetings are. Or if they have any.

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14 Sep 2016, 1:32 am

^ here is a list of German greetings:
http://www.fluentu.com/german/blog/germ ... ay-hi-bye/

In school we learned Guten Morgen / Guten Abend / Guten Tag and Wie geht's, and for goodbye auf Wiedersehen, Tschüss and Gute Nacht.

nobodycaresaboutme
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14 Sep 2016, 2:00 am

when you gonna get a job
just bee ursalf xd
man up
TRY HARDER

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14 Sep 2016, 4:23 am

Fake it 'til you make it

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14 Sep 2016, 10:04 am

mashers wrote:

I am sure clinically depressed people get tired of hearing expressions like "this rainy weather is making me depressed today"

Thing is most NT's have an or a few autistic traits but since NT's tend not put as much emphasis on exacting language as autistics the difference between "a few autistic traits" and "a bit autistic" will seem trivial to many of them.

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14 Sep 2016, 9:19 pm

mashers wrote:

It gets on my nerves as well. I see where you're going with your analogy but I don't think it's quite spot on, because race is not the same thing as a disability. (Although, of course, it's fair to say that being of an ethnic minority can expose you to prejudice in the same way that a disability can).

The example I like to use is to compare autism to blindness. I say to people "if you were short-sighted and had to wear glasses, you wouldn't walk up to a blind person and say: "I know how you feel. I'm a little bit blind, too"

That is because having to wear reading glasses is NOT AT ALL THE SAME THING as having to live in a world where there is complete absence of any visual input whatsoever.

In the same way, being a little bit shy or socially awkward is NOT AT ALL THE SAME THING as having to live in a world where nearly every single innocent little thing you say and do is criticised by NTs and deemed to be rude, condescending, offensive, or "wrong".

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14 Sep 2016, 10:41 pm

Not too much (without a number.)

Tell me more (while inattentive.)

I am not sure whether that is true or not / don't know how it works / but you must be incorrect.

Please wait for me, but do not ask again.

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the Germans

In my experience, motivated by guilt complex.

I would rather deal with sensual savages and sophomoric authoritarians than such masochists.

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15 Sep 2016, 8:07 pm

"If I can do it, you can too!"

It's not as if we all have the same abilities. O.o

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