More about my situation.

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I am assuming a lot because this thread is long, and I don't have it in me to dig.

ASS-P,

I'm assuming your brother died, and your parents are deceased?

The lawyer is trying to close out the estate getting ready to sell the house?

Or is your brother alive and just wants the stuff out of the house?

Both scenarios require a little different response.

Is there anyway you can get to Legal Aid and have some on actually talk to this lawyer? I know things like this can be overwhelming. Sometimes it's easy to get side tracked, and having another person distill it down into a 5 minute conversation is helpful.

I don't care how OLD that lawyer is. If he still has a valid license, he knows about the internet. He may be PLAYING stupid because time is money. If the lawyer can just get a roll off dumpster and chunk all the stuff, it's more money in his pocket. He loses money If his assistant has to scan your stuff in.

There has to be an actual support person who can help you atleast find out what is there.

Good luck.

ETA. It may not be the original lawyer contacting you, but another younger partner or paralegal. If he still has a business, there is someone else around who knows about the internet.

Hell...they tracked you down, and that wasn't by using a phone book.

I know you don't. But I also know that if it were the only constraint preventing you from taking a college course that it'd be relatively easily overcome. Even brand new laptops are not very expensive anymore - you could save up for one if that were your goal. Heck, the one I am posting from right now was given to me for free a week or so ago. All I had to buy was a replacement battery for $25. People give laptops away all the time rather than send them to the recyclers because they're old and not the latest & greatest for their gaming or graphics intensive stuff. If that were the only thing preventing you from starting a free tuition college course online, it would not be exceptionally difficult to find & obtain a free laptop.

However, it very likely isn't. You have other constraints. IMO, the first one you should focus on is the same one I recommended you focus on 2 or 3 years ago: Your health. If you had decided to do everything in your power to make yourself well enough to study a college class, over the last 1,000 days you'd have gotten a little tiny bit healthier each year, month, week, day.. and you'd probably be a whole lot closer to starting your first college course. But from the sounds of your health complaints, you're not way healthier than you were a few years ago, and likely have not done everything in your power to get yourself healthier day by day over the last few years.

That doesn't mean you should give up on yourself, your health, or a dream of taking college classes. IMO, what it does mean is that there's no time like the present to get started. Do something today that future you will thank you for, because you'll be healthier and ever closer to starting your first college course for the sake of actualizing that goal. Stick with it no matter how hard it is for you, because the desire to achieve your goal is stronger than anything else. Or don't. It's your choice. We all have choices to make every day, some of them move us forward and others set us back. Up to you how you live your life and whether you want to move towards realizing your goals, or keep yourself from being able to do so so that in another few years you're still in the same position as you were a few years ago.

Would it hurt to ask? Maybe they would be confused, but I think most lawyers even older ones do brush up on current technology communication...so there is a good chance he would know how to do it, or maybe he has a secretary that could do it. I mean if its important to you seems like its at least worth a try.

Also you don't have to have a lap-top to check your google account, you'd have to use public computers at a library for instance.

I mean I don't get it you post here asking for help, people try and help as best they can over the internet...then you reject every single suggestion people give. I mean people can only help so much on a forum...you should be contacting your local human services department or any organizations in your area that can provide assistance to homeless, poor and disabled people. Do you get SSI or SSDI? If so you could even apply for subsidized housing. But no one here on wrongplanet can do that for you.

Quoting for emphasis. All of THIS is what several of us have been pointing out. ASS-P refuses to do anything that might help himself, and thus is nearly impossible to help, and that's why we get frustrated with his constant complaining and requests for help he won't do a thing with.

Now, if the exact same ASS-P were to make a post saying "Hey, I took all of your recent advice and these are the things I managed to do for myself 1, 2, 3, but I had difficulty with 4 so a local human helped me get it done, and with 5 so someone from the forum did it for me (and I'm grateful for their help, thank you!) but now my next issues are 6, 7, 8 & then I know I'm going to need to tackle 9 & 10 eventually but right now I just need a little advice on how to proceed with 6.. etc. Then people would be all over helping someone who took action to help themselves, they'd be ever easier to help, and eventually may become self sufficient. Instead, he posts in the same style over and over again and it gets tiresome.

My opinion: If it is true that he's been in an institution for a good chunk of his life then he's going to need help to the point where others will need to hold his hand for him to slowly become self-sufficient. Everyone's suggestions are great but overly-simplistic. Imagine, you're chucked away for a good chunk of your life in an institution, three hots and a cot are provided for you, he's told when to get up and when to go to bed, he's told where to go at different times of the day, now all of a sudden he's expected to be self-sufficient. He's expected to figure all of this out himself.

Animals that are brought into captivity are actually not released to the wild. This is what has been done to him. He's been kept in captivity for a good chunk of his life and now he's released with zero guidance of what to do. What needs to be done for him is to hold his hand for a while and slowly release the grip similar to a child riding a bike. It could take months or a few years to do so and for him since he is older and has had habits entrenched in place it will take longer for him to do. It may not even be possible and he may need to be put back into an institution, group home or a nursing home I'm sorry to say. This is a travesty.

IMHO, deinstiutionalization should never have been done the way it was done. It should have been done in many phases over a long period of time. The patients who were in them should never have been released who were there for a long time. Those who were there for a shorter time either slowly adjust them to the real world or put them into group home settings or nursing homes.

He’s been homeless for most of his adult life. If you read his old posts he went to college for a year or two while living at home with his mother. It sounds like he was institutionalized during his second year. He’s spent a bit of time in jail too and some rooming house type shelters. He gets SSDI paid to him on a weekly basis but puts none of that towards shelter.

...I don't have a bank account! Or even one of those ripp-off-ish " pre-paid cards " AND, as it happens, I have tried - on my own - to get one and it keeps blowing up in my face! People such as Goldfish state " you didn't do this, it shows you don' t want to help yourself " when, by his own admission...he THOUGHT about helping me once, but didn't, and considers himself a great authority on me based on that ! I have said,, over and over again; that I could use help that not involve material gifts or money, but connection/transportation/discussion! From where I am NOW, help with getting to places and getting stuff would be such a help for me ...

Last edited by ASS-P on 10 Dec 2017, 8:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It doesn't help much that large posts keep getting lost. I've had that happen using a phone posting to WP.

The impression I get is the lawyer is probably retired and just acting as executor of the brother's estate.

And there's a container of belongings being stored somewhere that the 90 year old lawyer doesn't actually have access to.

Who packed all this stuff away and where it is right now is unknown.

How much stuff is in the container and what size the container is, is unknown. It could be anything from the size of a shoe box to an entire shed or garage packed full of stuff. No one knows.

But apparently getting the photos from the container would require excavation.

So far it isn't clear what someone is supposed to do about this stuff. Have it shipped to them? Or they come and get it? What will they need to get it, a flatbed truck? No one knows. For shipping what's the size and weight? One small box? or 10 giant crates? No one knows.

I was recently referred to a place called Office For The Aging. The woman there assessed where I was in life and what was needed. She found two problems: I needed a new prescription coverage plan and Medicare enrollment plan, and she'll find a way to get me reimbursed for the fortune my heating bill is costing me.

Maybe such an office exists in your neck of the woods?

Hi, ASS-P. I hope you manage to have as nice a day as possible today. I like the suggestion you got from someone to try and contact http://www.legal-aid.org/en/home.aspx pro bono department, and asking them if they could scan your photos, and send them to your private gmail. They can help people for free in legal matters. Maybe that would work, at least for some photos, and maybe even a CD or two.

I want to say that I'm sorry about the death of your brother. That must be very sad for you, especially since you haven't gotten to see him in a very long time. I hope that you get to save some of the memorabilia; I can see how much it means to you. As you work through your grief, I hope it's not inappropriate for me to remind you that even if you don't get to keep your brother's things, you will always know that he left them to you, which means that he was thinking of you, and loved you very much, even though you two had been separated for a very long time. No one can take that knowledge away from you . . . you can keep that in your heart, forever.

kraftiekortie, I was very briefly in the NYC school system, but then moved upstate, and attended several schools. My school experiences were hit and miss. Not all good, not all bad. But it was definitely a struggle most of the time.

cubedemon6073, thanks for your understanding and insights. I agree that de-institutionalization was done completely wrong, and people who have been institutionalized and also have physical disabilities, developmental disabilities, or intellectual disabilities probably can't always be expected to just be normal. It's not sensible. Your paragraph about guidance succinctly sums up what I wish I could explain to people about myself, sometimes! People can't understand by looking at you, or even by talking to you for hours and hours what it is like to have experienced years of neglect and abuse. It's literally as if you were raised on a different planet, with a different culture, and almost impossible to understand "normal".

ASS-P, refresh my memory.
1. Where do you live?
2. How come you con't have a phone (even a free Obamaphone)?
3. How come you don't have a bank account?
4. How many pictures of your brother are you talking about?
5. What would the cost be to ship those to the continental US?
6. Are you working on reducing your weight?
7. Which Dept of Social Services/Human Services is closest to where you live?

Last edited by redrobin62 on 10 Dec 2017, 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It would take a long time for me to trawl through all of his posts, time I don't have.

He gets SSDI paid on a weekly basis? How is that possible? Mine is monthly.

I think he needs to be in a group home or a nursing home. I think his case is to severe for him to become self-reliant on his own.

...For some answers now, I am in Santa Cruz. I have this phone small and not working super well, and the phone function doesn't work at all. I don't know why. Obamaphone purveyors have told me I don't have a certain medical ID above and beyond my standard state ID (which I do have) that I would need. I dob'tdob' T have sufficient money to put it in the bank niw, briefly, having had problems that depleted the last account I had, as wee as problems with the rup-off charge card too ( a long srory)and lack of confidence + my crippled-ness + the rehab place I'm at pressuring me to not go out - and no one to visit me/do errands for me:( . I don't kniw precisely how much mass the p/m and stuff comes to, I've at least kind of asked but have received no answer yet
.




62"]ASS-P, refresh my memory.
1. Where do you live?
2. How come you con't have a phone (even a free Obamaphone)?
3. How come you don't have a bank account?
4. How many pictures of your brother are you talking about?
5. What would the cost be to ship those to the continental US?
6. Are you working on reducing your weight?
7. Which Dept of Social Services/Human Services is closest to where you live?[/quote]

So what kind of help are you asking for from WP readers?

Some WP reader to have who knows what from who knows where shipped to them who knows how and for how much?

Some WP reader to travel to Santa Cruz and transport stuff, set up things and run errands for you, for who knows how long?

You say you're asking for non-financial help, but who's going pay the who knows how expensive shipping fees? Or who's going to pay for someone's time off from work and gas money to drive to and travel all over Santa Cruz?

Nobody here even knows what your first name is.

I never wrote any such thing about being a great authority on you. I only know about your existence from your posts. A few years ago you were such a miserable A-hole while you were posting from the Seattle area that I remember posting back then that I could hop in my car and drive down there and donate some things to you but due to your attitude you're so impossible to help that it wouldn't have done either of us one bit of good.

Now with your current posts being nearly as bad, I can see you haven't changed any. You ask for help, people offer their advice, you shoot it down & be as miserable about it as you possibly can be.. rinse & repeat.

It'd be so refreshing to read an ASS-P post that was about Trying something, achieving something, accepting someone's help and sharing a success story about it, following someone's advice and improving something for yourself.. but instead it's persistent negativity no matter what anyone suggests.

It kinda sounds like that's what he has at the re-hab place as he calls it, which is pressuring him to stay put. Hopefully they are feeding him a healthy diet.

With all the the stuff he says is wrong with him, he's probably closer to being 77 than 57 physiologically speaking.

Last edited by EzraS on 11 Dec 2017, 3:25 am, edited 1 time in total.