You know you're autistic when...

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you can't imagine some one reads what you write.

you wonder why your friend is your friend.

it's your birthday and nobody cared.

You know you're an Aspie when you are stressed both at work and at home, so you just have to face it: You Get Stressed Everywhere.

You know you're an Aspie when you can empathise with this situation:-
Your mum is having a rare occasion of having friends from work round in the evening, and so the living-room is full of people you don't know very well, so you hide away in your room so that it looks like you're not here and so can get away with not showing your face without feeling rude or unfriendly (unless your mum tells them you're here, which she usually doesn't) - so you've just got to imprison yourself into your room and everything is going smoothly.....Until you discover you have left your mobile phone, your headphones, and all of your writing books aout your special interest in the living-room!

That you should not say everything you think. Some times I think pretty funny or sarcastic thoughts that are very fast. Many people that I have known thru my life find them funny and this is how I have blended in for so long.

However sometimes my humor is inappropriate for work, or may be to sexual, or to rude, or just gross.

So a filter is what they use to stop them from saying everything they speak. We have it too .. but usually it is something I learn after getting in trouble first.

Ahhh, I'm the same. A lot of the time, I come across as quite witty but at others, I just get some strange looks and uncomfortable silence (or worse). In that case, perhaps I could use a filter. Where do you get them?

Wow, this happened to me the other night. We had (sort of) family over and although I had to sit at the dining room table to eat with them, as soon as we finished, I made up an excuse as to why I had to go to the lounge room and use my computer.

In hindsight, it may have seemed a bit rude as they didn't see me again until they were leaving but I didn't care. The slight uncomfortableness I felt at the time was far better than being stuck in a poky dining room forced to talk meaningless stuff with people who pretend to care about each other - who live 5 minutes away and see each other in a blue moon.
So fake. I can't stand falseness!

Oh, you poor thing. I can really sympathise with you on this.

to bad your ladies , lucky as a male I can pee out the window.

Good! I'm happy for you.
Now, do you think we can lift the conversation to a level above toilet humour?

well I got a pm I am sorry if I have caused offense.

Its my birthday, and I had comletely forgotten until mum rings up to wish me a happy birthday.

happy birthday it's nice somebody cares.

Happy Birthday mate. Many happy returns.

You know you're an aspie when someone makes a pun with one of your posts and you don't get it for a day and a half.

Yes, I was going to make a similar comment. I could see the whole thing unfolding in front of my eyes and thought, this is hilarious. Don't worry. I've done the same heaps of times and not around Aspies, who understand. Neurotypicals just think I'm stupid but I run rings around them in other ways. I'm just not real good with puns and sarcasm.

Your Mom tells you to pick up that pile of dirt for her so you pick it up and leave the other pile of dirt.

Your husband tells you he is going to bed soon so you say "okay" and keep on watching TV in his room.

You do not understand these two at all how it's an aspie thing because you are also being literal.