Why do NTs turn nasty ...

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I think what's really needed is a separate "rants" sub-forum. If people find a topic to be too vitriolic or antagonistic towards NT's they can request that it be moved to the "rants" sub-forum. People can start new topics in that sub-forum if they want to but people with thinner skin don't even have to look in there if they don't want to. I think all-out censorship of such topics will set a very bad precedent for this site. It's a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to people feeling stifled.

You also have to realize that members change over time. People coming here for the first time might have a lot of negative emotions going on but they might become more positive and reconciliatory over time.

People are getting too hung up on the original post and title. If you wish to know why the discussion became an issue, look at some of the replies on the first and second page, put blunty, they are rather disgusting.

Of course it is not comparable to using an individual person as a punching bag - it is comparable to using a whole bunch of innocent people as bunching bags. Yes, NTs are large and vaguely defined - that is why it is known as prejudice.

Yes, I agree that people don't necessarily bully because of low self-esteem. However they sometimes do - in fact the hate speech on WP is a form of bullying as NTs are in the minority and Aspies "have the power" here so to speak. The point though I was trying to make is if a bully tried to use the excuse that he was relieving tension, if you were the victim, would it make everything all right? If it wouldn't for you, why should you expect it to help the people you (using the term generally) bully?



What do you expect me to do - lie? What lie do you want me to say? Do you want me to hug them and tell them "Don't worry - what you did was not wrong because you are an Aspie and you were hurt in the past." (Truth: no it is not all right even in these circumstances) Or do you want me to say, "Don't worry. Sure it will make you happy in the long run." (Truth: no it won't) How about the every popular vague "Don't worry. Everything will probably work itself out in the long run." (Truth: no it won't) or "I'm so sorry. I feel your pain." (Truth: No I'm not sorry. I sympathize with you, but I haven't gone through the same experiences and I am not you. Also, I don't have a personal relationship with you. Also I didn't cause your pain. I have to admit I really hate that phrase). One of the most common complaints here is about white lies and this is confusing because it is difficult to tell the truth in the midst of all the other stuff. Now you are advising me to tell lies? I prefer, simple direct statements. Yes, hate speech against NTs is wrong. Yes, this is true even if you were hurt by individual NTs in the past. The person who is hurt most by your attitude is you, not your victims. No, you are not a horrible person who doesn't deserve to live because of it. You are human. Here are the logical arguments behind these positions. Simple as that.

EDIT: Actually I just realized I probably didn't talk about that last bit (about not being a horrible human being) too much. If that is why you are pissed off then I apologize.

I support sympathy. I support giving assistance, therapy, etc. However at the same time I see absolutely no use in lying to people that their actions are right or their current situation is OK or that it will make them happy in the long run if the truth is the opposite and in the long run telling these lies will cause more harm. I would like to point out, before you accuse me of not caring, that most of my arguments for moving on is based on it being better for *them*. Generally speaking while appeals to higher values and the angels can work, self-interest is a much more reliable motivator. I think this is especially true when strong feelings of hate are involved. The argument of "because it is good for them" does not work well when the person you are trying to convince hates "them".

Even assuming I do as you suggest and lie my head off and form some convoluted argument about how it is "not really their fault". Then either (1) they remain stuck in their rut with my supposed approval because I imply it is OK because "it is not really their fault" or (2) their self confidence increases because their hatred of NTs deepens and they believe they are justified to hate/feel superior to NTs because you have a bunch of people telling them it is "not really their fault" i.e. it is the fault of their victims. In this case, even increasing their self confidence by lying to them, as you suggest, leads to a very negative outcome. Hence what is the point? Well, lying to them would make life easier for *me* as people like you when you tell them they are doing the right thing and don't like you when you tell them you are doing the wrong thing so that could be a point.

If they are unable to move forward at this point in time then they can't. It's as simple as that. Whether or not I am disappointed in them though is immaterial because what is more important is - are they disappointed in themselves? Ideally if they do feel disappointed it is because my arguments made sense and they want to change, not because they feel the breath of my disapproval.

As for the description of me being "judgmental" is because I say "Hate speech against NTs is wrong" or pointing out that the people who are going to be hurt most by their hatred is most likely well them and hence there is a very good incentive to change then I am proud to be judgmental.

I would never do that, I would never display such a total lack of understanding of another person by telling them I know what they are feeling.