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This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community.

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TheSunAlsoRises
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21 Dec 2011, 2:31 am

MrXxx wrote:
TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
Tell me, what do you see outside your own personal experiences, Ms. Verdandi ?


TSAR, you do know that seeing things from our own personal perspectives is a core aspect of Autism, right?


I'm am aware Mr. Xxx. BUT, i truly want to know what Verdandi sees. Too many people make the assumption THAT seeing things from ones own perspective means that we have no other perspective; i don't believe that to be true for ALL.


Fair enough. I wasn't sure if it had occurred to you. I forget myself sometimes that may be what I'm seeing, or even what I'm doing. Then again, sometimes my own perspective is the only one I have to go on, because I can't see some things any other way. A lot depends on the conversational context and topic.


Cool. I appreciate your perspective Mr. Xxx.

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srriv345
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21 Dec 2011, 2:43 am

I strongly disagree with the notion that enough positive things can somehow "balance out" the negative.

For the most part, my parents have been completely loving and supportive. They've said many more kind, loving, and complimentary things towards me than hurtful ones. And yet...the negative things they've said, so few in quantity in comparison, really hurt a lot. I'm not sure that any amount of hugs and kind words could ever fully make up for some of the things my parents have said to me. They just hurt that much, and these words can't ever been un-said. (And my parents never said that they wished to kill me.)

Perhaps I am just hyper-sensitive....but you know, that's really not uncommon for people on the spectrum.

I find it really hard to believe that Allison Singer, someone who has been extremely active in the autism parent community, couldn't find another time to speak her feelings except in the presence of a camera and her daughter. Really?

And I will never understand people who justify her saying that.



MrXxx
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21 Dec 2011, 2:44 am

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
Tell me, what do you see outside your own personal experiences, Ms. Verdandi ?


TSAR, you do know that seeing things from our own personal perspectives is a core aspect of Autism, right?


I'm am aware Mr. Xxx. BUT, i truly want to know what Verdandi sees. Too many people make the assumption THAT seeing things from ones own perspective means that we have no other perspective; i don't believe that to be true for ALL.


Fair enough. I wasn't sure if it had occurred to you. I forget myself sometimes that may be what I'm seeing, or even what I'm doing. Then again, sometimes my own perspective is the only one I have to go on, because I can't see some things any other way. A lot depends on the conversational context and topic.


Cool. I appreciate your perspective Mr. Xxx.


In all fairness I feel I should add (in light of what I just brought up), that pretty much everything I've said in this thread is purely out of my own perspective. And though she may not remember, and I'm not even sure if I'm right about this (I have pretty severe ADD and have trouble remembering who I've talked to about what on these forums), I seem to recall a run in with Verdandi myself some months ago, but have since learned she is quite capable of taking other perspectives into consideration. We can both get pretty heated sometimes. Hot buttons anyone? :P

Half the time I can remember getting steamed at someone a couple of days previous, but can't remember for the life of me with whom. Next thing I know I'm talking to them for a while like nothing ever happened before I realize it's the same user I tore into (or that tore into me), not that long ago.

I must baffle the hell out of some people here. ADD in that respect is a blessing for me, but probably a head smacker for others. :lol:


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nat4200
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21 Dec 2011, 3:03 am

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Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

ictus75
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21 Dec 2011, 3:15 am

I have a lot of sympathy for the parents in the Autism Speaks video. They are in tough situations. The problem I have is that the video is so one sided, showing one extreme of the spectrum—where's the balance???

Where is the video footage showing Autistic kids who are doing things, making progress, in school?

Also, where is the video footage of Autistic kids being teased & bullied? What about the kids on the other end of the spectrum, from the ones in the video, who are trying to live a decent life, but keep having to watch out for their safety, because they are bullied by other kids, and even adults?

Autism Speaks is too one sided and too prone to using "shock value" to get their message across. I can't, and won't, ever support them until they are more balanced and include the full spectrum of Autistic people in the things they do.


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TheSunAlsoRises
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21 Dec 2011, 4:27 am

srriv345 wrote:
I strongly disagree with the notion that enough positive things can somehow "balance out" the negative.

For the most part, my parents have been completely loving and supportive. They've said many more kind, loving, and complimentary things towards me than hurtful ones. And yet...the negative things they've said, so few in quantity in comparison, really hurt a lot. I'm not sure that any amount of hugs and kind words could ever fully make up for some of the things my parents have said to me. They just hurt that much, and these words can't ever been un-said. (And my parents never said that they wished to kill me.)

Perhaps I am just hyper-sensitive....but you know, that's really not uncommon for people on the spectrum.

I find it really hard to believe that Allison Singer, someone who has been extremely active in the autism parent community, couldn't find another time to speak her feelings except in the presence of a camera and her daughter. Really?

And I will never understand people who justify her saying that.


IF anyone in this room has never in their life, said something or done something that may have been deemed inappropriate in the presence of a love one, please come forward and speak.

John 8:7 (KJV)

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.


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pensieve
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21 Dec 2011, 4:50 am

ictus75 wrote:
Autism Speaks is too one sided and too prone to using "shock value" to get their message across. I can't, and won't, ever support them until they are more balanced and include the full spectrum of Autistic people in the things they do.

They were.
They hire autistic people. One of their bloggers has Asperger's.
They are still about research but no longer want to eliminate autism.
Have you seen the videos about them giving young autistic adults jobs?
They want to help make life less difficult for autistic people by treating their symptoms, like any other autistic organisation.
Just like a criminal finds religion in prison Autism Speaks has changed.

I'm going to go yell at that brick wall who will be more likely to respond, "wow, thanks for the info. I 'll keep that in mind, or perhaps instead of hating on Autism Speaks by tearing apart a video that looked like it's from the 1990's I will do my own research into the matter."

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
IF anyone in this room has never in their life, said something or done something that may have been deemed inappropriate in the presence of a love one, please come forward and speak.

John 8:7 (KJV)

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.


TheSunAlsoRises


The only difference is all of Man is born into sin.


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TheSunAlsoRises
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21 Dec 2011, 5:01 am

pensieve wrote:
ictus75 wrote:
Autism Speaks is too one sided and too prone to using "shock value" to get their message across. I can't, and won't, ever support them until they are more balanced and include the full spectrum of Autistic people in the things they do.

They were.
They hire autistic people. One of their bloggers has Asperger's.
They are still about research but no longer want to eliminate autism.
Have you seen the videos about them giving young autistic adults jobs?
They want to help make life less difficult for autistic people by treating their symptoms, like any other autistic organisation.
Just like a criminal finds religion in prison Autism Speaks has changed.

I'm going to go yell at that brick wall who will be more likely to respond, "wow, thanks for the info. I 'll keep that in mind, or perhaps instead of hating on Autism Speaks by tearing apart a video that looked like it's from the 1990's I will do my own research into the matter."

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:
IF anyone in this room has never in their life, said something or done something that may have been deemed inappropriate in the presence of a love one, please come forward and speak.

John 8:7 (KJV)

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.


TheSunAlsoRises


The only difference is all of Man is born into sin.


Truth

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Verdandi
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21 Dec 2011, 7:03 am

nat4200 wrote:
TheygoMew's videos put this in a different light though, in the first of these [8 seconds in], the mother from the Autism Speaks video we're discussing identifies herself as the senior vice president for communications at Autism Speaks.


I'm not sure what you mean. I first saw this video in 2008, and I knew then she was at Autism Speaks. How does that change things?



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21 Dec 2011, 7:07 am

MrXxx wrote:
In all fairness I feel I should add (in light of what I just brought up), that pretty much everything I've said in this thread is purely out of my own perspective. And though she may not remember, and I'm not even sure if I'm right about this (I have pretty severe ADD and have trouble remembering who I've talked to about what on these forums), I seem to recall a run in with Verdandi myself some months ago, but have since learned she is quite capable of taking other perspectives into consideration. We can both get pretty heated sometimes. Hot buttons anyone? :P


The most heated exchange I recall with you was when I linked the social attribution task video and did not understand why it left you so frustrated. But you explained why and we moved on.

Well, okay, you were frustrated at that IQ test I also linked because I wanted to know about IQ test scatter and autistic people. But that didn't strike me as heated either.

Quote:
Half the time I can remember getting steamed at someone a couple of days previous, but can't remember for the life of me with whom. Next thing I know I'm talking to them for a while like nothing ever happened before I realize it's the same user I tore into (or that tore into me), not that long ago.

I must baffle the hell out of some people here. ADD in that respect is a blessing for me, but probably a head smacker for others. :lol:


Well, if the statistics are true, 2/3-3/4 of all autistic people have ADHD and are in the same boat to some degree. Forgetting a grudge quickly seems to be pretty common. With very few exceptions, I tend to forget within a few days.



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21 Dec 2011, 7:30 am

riley wrote:
The video shows the level of frustration, stress and pressure that goes with caring for someone with severe disability. Maybe it would be more constuctive to attack the system and society as a whole for not providing PWD enough help and support instead of attacking parents.

Im aware this quote has been buried on several pages of hopefully helpfull discussion about this video but I dont have time to read right now.
I just wanted to say that riley already provided a great answer to the OP and I hope members have stopped attacking parents.

Remember that some of our members are parents that are trying to understand their children better(which isnt an easy task due to limited resources...) so attacking all parents isnt acceptable.
Also keep in mind that we cant have a double standard.
Most people with as complain about nts with limited experience on as making assumptions of them as soon as they hear they have aspergers and wish to be treated as individuals. Shouldnt parents deserve the same amount of respect from us?.


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nat4200
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21 Dec 2011, 7:57 am

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Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Verdandi
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21 Dec 2011, 8:00 am

nat4200 wrote:
@Verdandi, Sorry, I didn't know this until TheygoMew posted the videos, and this may have influenced how I interpreted the comments, but I thought that the quoted text from you would made more sense if you hadn't made the connection. I thought it changed how one might judge this woman


Ah, okay. Thanks. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be difficult! :)

Quote:
As the mother is also Senior VP of Communications of the company producing the video, I have to re-evaluate things like:
* the candor of the statement; such a person presumably has more experience being behind a camera, as well as not saying the wrong things/very private things accidently
* In that role, I find it hard to believe that she did not have control over whether that statement which was caught on camera was included in the film as released
* why her employment with the organisation was not stated plainly in the video

I will say that with this information (now known to me) I don't think you should blame the film maker at all! I think film makers are quite bound to follow directions from a VP of Communications if they are heavily involved in a work such as the video.

Anyway, I'm just arguing as someone who has been well out of the loop and has seen the video for the first time thanks to this thread. I don't think there is anything new here worth debating. I was just interested / following and couldn't help chiming in with my 2 cents :wink:


You make sense. I just didn't get what you were suggesting. But spelling it out, yeah.



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21 Dec 2011, 8:03 am

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Tuttle
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21 Dec 2011, 9:26 am

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

Tell me, what do you see outside your own personal experiences, Ms. Verdandi ?


What does anyone see outside their own personal experiences?

Yes, we can try to understand others, yes, we can try to understand how they're thinking (and some of us can do that really well), but when it comes down to it, me understanding that MrXxx has difficulty with raising kids with Asperger's comes down to my experiences in participating in discussions like this. It's still my experiences. The statement "in my personal experiences" actually still holds there.

(I've also actually found people on these forums as a whole to be good at taking what someone else says into account)

Or am I somehow completely misinterpreting this question?



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21 Dec 2011, 9:48 am

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