Sorry I have to ask this

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friedmacguffins
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30 Dec 2016, 2:10 pm

Quote:

.....and PARENTS even more so because they feel responsible...

Yes, for every little thing.

kraftiekortie
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30 Dec 2016, 3:45 pm

Eloa:

I find the idea of an autistic-only society to be absurd, frankly.

It probably wouldn't last more than one generation.

But there are times when the "greater world" doesn't suit autistics too well. My solution would be to try to adapt to the "greater world" the best you can, and to take advantage of the resources for autistic people the "greater world" provides.

I am also, very much, for educating the "neurotypical" multitudes about the true nature of autism---about how autistic people can be useful, as well as being a "burden."

friedmacguffins
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30 Dec 2016, 4:34 pm

I don't think that we're similar enough, just based on having autism.

It would be like a society of left-handed people or brunettes, who may share nothing else in common.

Lockheart
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31 Dec 2016, 1:18 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:

Being of that older generation (born 1957) I think "getting on with it" is ok to a point. But I was "getting on with it" with wrong and incomplete information.

It is not only that work is faster today there is a lot more emphasis on teamwork and networking now. When I entered the labor force the words of wisdom I often got was along the lines of "be professional, the office is not a social club, you and your boss and your co workers do not have to like each other". I did well in that atmosphere. When it started to change in the 90's I flailed and eventually crashed.

I like the sound of the old-fashioned workplace, ASPartOfMe.

kraftiekortie
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31 Dec 2016, 6:52 am

I wish I was in a self-contained cubicle, rather than be out in the open.

EzraS
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31 Dec 2016, 9:22 am

Lockheart wrote:

ASPartOfMe wrote:

I will quess based on your age posted your dad grew up when I did or a bit earlier. It was considered unmanly to look into oneself and thus seeing a proffessional was stigmatized. Only those truly "crazy" or the idle rich saw "shrinks". While it was recognized everybody had difficulties you were expected to figure it out, deal with them, and not burden others with your "personal business".

Yep, that's about it. Dad was born a few short years after the end of WWII. His advice to me when I've had mental health problems has always been "just get on with it". I'm sure he meant it well, but I recently realised it's awful advice. To "get on with it" I've tried to pretend to be normal, at great cost to myself. He is actively hostile to the mental health professions and especially to antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. I made the mistake of telling him I was taking medication for anxiety once and let's just say his response was such that I will never make that mistake again. In his case I wonder if it's not only a matter of being part of the stoic older generations, but of being allergic to the idea that one of his children might have a mental health problem.

To bring it back to the original topic: children rely on their parents and other adults around them to pick up on their difficulties. There are many reasons why that might not happen.

Sure, sweep it under the rug so they don't have to deal with it one way or another. I've been naive when it comes to the types of intervention I thought would have come automatically.

androbot01
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31 Dec 2016, 9:24 am

BirdinFlight wrote:

I'm disgusted with this place and with you. I really don't wish you well as you demonstrate despicable behavior toward someone who has been through a lot more than YOU could ever endure without your circle of support.

None of us knows what we are capable of until the time comes. I empathize with your sentiment, but encourage you to be patient and not to define your experience by others' view of it. Having said that I cannot help but be jealous not only of the the support received by younger generations of autistic people, but also because they know that they are autistic in childhood.

EzraS
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31 Dec 2016, 9:27 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

The world is really not suited for autistic people.

That's why it's essential that at least some autistic people have support workers to help them.

Having these support workers could very well make an autistic person a more useful member of society--because then, with this support, the person can concentrate on his/her special interest.

This pursuit of the autistic person's special interest could very well benefit others. Many autistic people, some of whom had formal or informal support, have invented useful devices, or have promulgated useful ideas--useful for the Greater Society.

Absolutely, I agree 100%. Some do get that level of support and everyone seems to benefit from it. It needs to be more widespread.

Last edited by EzraS on 31 Dec 2016, 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Lockheart
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31 Dec 2016, 9:28 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

I wish I was in a self-contained cubicle, rather than be out in the open.

Don't get me started on the torture device that is the open-plan office... :cry:

iliketrees
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31 Dec 2016, 9:29 am

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

androbot01
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31 Dec 2016, 9:32 am

iliketrees wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

How old were you when you were diagnosed, trees?

iliketrees
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31 Dec 2016, 9:34 am

androbot01 wrote:

iliketrees wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

How old were you when you were diagnosed, trees?

EzraS
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31 Dec 2016, 9:38 am

iliketrees wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

Amazing autistic kids of the 90's and 00's going undiagnosed. How can a kid with autism in that time period make it all the way through high school undiagnosed? Doesn't make sense. Well I guess it does, but in a lousy way. Probably with parents and teachers just not wanting to deal with it being near or at the top of the list.

androbot01
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31 Dec 2016, 9:42 am

iliketrees wrote:

Your icon age gender is female; do you think your gender was a factor in your late diagnosis? I think women present autism differently and are able to mask more easily, which was encouraged in my case.

iliketrees
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31 Dec 2016, 9:53 am

EzraS wrote:

iliketrees wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

Amazing autistic kids of the later 90's and 00's going undiagnosed. How can a kid with autism in that time period make it all the way through high school undiagnosed? Doesn't make sense. Well I guess it does, but in a lousy way. Probably with parents and teachers just not wanting to deal with it being near or at the top of the list.

I was fine academically and didn't have any behaviour problems so me never talking was just put down to shyness. Everyone noticed how quiet I was and nobody is surprised that I'm autistic, but as I never drew their attention it never crossed their mind to think anymore about it at the time - I'm sure if I ever got assessed they'd have found I was, but I never gave them any reason to assess me. My parents did notice my symptoms but assumed I was borderline autism but not quite on the spectrum so never took it further.

EzraS
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31 Dec 2016, 10:05 am

iliketrees wrote:

EzraS wrote:

iliketrees wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

BirdinFlight wrote:

I didn't get diagnosed as a child, so not all of us.

Oh okay. I didn't mean what I said was about your parents, I was just speaking in general. There's some kids in my school for autism who are so quiet and draw so little attention to themselves in any way, they're almost invisible.

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