First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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Has anyone with high functioning autism been unware, or mostly unaware that they were different from other people before you were diagnosed with ASD?

Afraid not, frogfoot.
I always knew there was something very, very different, but that idea was largely ridiculed by others, who felt that I was normal, just not "trying very hard" to be?!?

On the other hand, the one thing that DID surprise me, was that I had the (good?) habit of assuming that, at the core, everyone felt like I did, had the same wants, needs, desires, motivations. When that turned out to not be true...I was blown away! Other people were really that different? Whoah.

To speak just for myself: No, it had always been very obvious to me that I was different, mostly because I was treated as being different by the other kids,
only I couldn't figure out why, especially when I got bullied for no apparent reason.
Later I noticed the differences through self observation and comparison with the behavior of other people, and a strange hunch or inkling
which made me feel that I was being perceived as weird or bizarre, although this was always denied when I tried to ask anyone directly about it.
My NT husband is the only one who gives me honest feedback about how I am coming across to other people.
( He always does this in private only, never embarrassing me in public, of course, and it's much appreciated, even if it feels awful sometimes after I messed up.
He always assures me that our friends like me anyway.)
All the time I was mystified by the NT's social capabilities, and how they all seemed to know about some secret rules of a hidden game
that they seemed to be playing, of which I could never guess what it was all about.
It always felt like being on the outside looking in. How could I be unaware of that?
Only two years ago did I find out that the reason for this difference was autism.
Because I am a very empathic person (I feel another persons emotions like they are my own, which is very confusing sometimes) I never
suspected that I was autistic, because this didn't fit in with Aspergers Syndrome, with which you are supposed to have no empathy for others.
But a lot of the other autistic traits are very pronounced in my personality.
I hope this partly answers your question And I'm wondering too, if there is anybody out there who didn't notice anything, but I doubt it.

Yes, that answers my question. I think most people with AS are aware from early on that they are different.

A few people on this thread, though, do seem to have been unaware that they were different.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf257426-0-30.html

My question to NTs is:

I attempt to have a rational conversation with NTs. All I get is lies and evasiveness. They always claim it's a bad time to talk. Another way they evade the issue, they ask me, "do you need an ambulance?" If they are in a position of power, they abuse that power by calling an ambulance without my permission and get them to take me away.

Yes, there seems to be a subtle difference between suspecting that you are different and becoming fully aware that those suspected
differences are real rather than imagined. Getting information about the condition of AS and thus becoming able to clearly identify it
makes a huge difference.

Hi. Could an NT please look at one of my previous posts http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt267337.html

I'm asking about a joke I saw. Everyone so far said it's not funny, but my BFF started laughing at it and then wouldn't explain. Confusion. Help?

I'm an NT... I think it's the facial expressions the guy is pulling in response to what she is saying that are meant to be amusing, but to me they aren't that funny either. I think he's meant to be reacting to the idea of having 'done' everyone... in a sort of a cheeky grin, but i wouldn't have said it passed as actually 'funny', and wouldn't have got a laugh from me. Sorry I can't be of more help!

A question for aspies...

My partner has AS, and he has quite big meltdowns occasionally - and I mean total shouting meltdowns where he will even occasionally throw things. I find it quite scary when this happens, even though I know it isn't directed at me, and is usually due to a situation which is beyond his control, with things happening that are not the way that he thought they should go... I guess my question is two-fold... what does it feel like when you have a meltdown? And is there anything that I might be able to do to help calm him down (or indeed anything I can recommend to him to help him calm himself?) or am I best just trying to let it run it's course and hug him once he's calmed down?

thanks, advice is much appreciated!

Ok so what is happening here is that the woman makes a comment about the Tony character "doing every thing and every one". This can be taken to mean he is a bit of play boy who sleeps with lots of women. Sleeping around is generally considered to be a bad thing that people should be ashamed of. But there is also, for men anyway, a certain level of pride in bedding loads of women. It is one of the double standards between the sexes men who do this are studs and get praise from other men, women who do this are slags who get scorn from both men and women.... not fair, totally sexist but that's our screwed up society for you. Even though many men still think its cool to bed loads of women there is still an understanding that they are no supposed to think this, that it is still naughty to do so particularly in an overt way. What Robert Downy Jnr is doing is giving an expression of over the top smugness and pride at this statement. Its the kind of thing a real playboy would do i.e. his character. The "joke" , or rather the amusement, comes from the fact that one is not supposed to be prideful about such things, it is naughty to do so particularly when done in an over the top very overt way.

The humour derives from what a person is supposed to do and then them doing the naughty thing in an overt way.

Its similar to sick joke. Jokes about taboo subjects like say rape, child abuse or the holocaust. The humour is derived not from the fact that these things are actually funny (clearly they are not they are utterly horrific) but from the the fact that no one is not supposed to joke about them. It is taboo to make light of such things and so when people do its shocking and that shock is the source of the comedic tension and humour. Its not the subject matter that is funny its the fact that someone is daring to joke about something they are not allowed to joke about. In a similar, but lesser way, Robert Downy junior is not supposed to be smug about his characters playboy status, the fact that he deliberatly looks over the top smug means he is doing something slightly taboo and hence the comedic tension.

**quick disclaimer**
I am not diagnosed... just very suspicious so if you want you can take this with a grain of salt. I also rarely have meltdowns, instead I have shutdowns. I think I had a minor meltdown today though so the memory is fresh.

First question response: Panic, Hate, Stress... basically just extremely intense emotions all mixed up together. I could have sworn that I felt my temperature rising.

Second question response: This is me personally so it may not apply to him... but whether it's a meltdown or a shutdown what I want more than anything is to be left completely alone. If I'm shutdown and my parents start talking to me I just automatically answer in 'yes', 'no', and 'I don't know' the whole time wishing they'd let me leave. It's even worse if I have a meltdown. The problem is that people tend to be like, "Oh this person is in duress... I should go talk it out with them! They'll love that!." That might be true for most people but that's pretty much the worst thing you can do for me. So if I were you I'd leave him alone until he calms down and then comfort him. Maybe you're boyfriend is different though? Experiment or better yet simply ask him.

This is a fantastic thread!

I have a question for aspies, both diagnosed and undiagnosed:

Were you ever (or are you still) reluctant to get diagnosed? If so, then why?

A question for aspies:

How do you feel about the people who think aspergers should be called mild autism instead? Are you comfortable with that?

Well.."the people" who think that are the medical community itsself. They got rid of aspergers as an official diagnostic category, and lumped us aspies under the rubric of "autism" thereby turning us into "mild" or "high functioning" "autistics".

Meh.

Six of one, and half of a dozen of the other.


The lady shrink I went to never even heard of "aspergers" before my family mentioned it as a possibility. So I tend to assume that lay people never heard of it either. So the few folks Ive talked about being diagnosed to - I've explained it as "a mild form of autism" , and not even used the label "aspergers".

I'm one of those people. I've always thought it was one big spectrum ever since I first read about the "differences" between the two and thought they didn't add up. That was the early 2000's

I wonder how different we really think, - NT´s and Aspies.

My thinking style is very visual. I often "read aloud" from pages, that I have studied, when asked to explain something.
I recognize Temple Grandins way of thinking constructions in function and can see parts taking form and coming together.
When I think in plans, it looks like Exel pages, and when I think music, it is often graphs and colors - sometimes light, - ever since early childhood.
Some days ago, I planned an afternoon with a friend. She was uncertain and shifted to and fro, and I had to rearrange my Exel page every time, so I stared kind of empty in the air and she asked, if she should toss in a coin
I explained why I had that look and asked, what she sees, when she thinks in plans.
"Nothing", she replied. (How can anyone NOT picture their plans?)

Question:
How many aspies and NT´s recognize these things?
Are they indeed typical for asperger minds, - or are they just as typical for engineer minds?
(I don´t buy the myth, that all engineers should be autistic. That is bull).

I am simply curious about how it looks in other peoples heads.