You Might be an Aspie if...

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You're probably an aspie if you go ballistic at external distractions

You're probably an aspie if if you ignore inner voices as much as outer ones - if you fight with them, you're probably schizophrenic (see above)

You're probably not an aspie if you go around in gangs and want to beat the crap out of others because of low self-esteem

By the way you can tell if you're an aspie and not an OCD sufferer for other reasons because your obsessive nature also includes special interest subjects

You're probably an aspie if you laugh when somebody beats you up, rather than cry or plead for mercy (again nobody but you gets the joke).

You're probably an aspie if you cannot tell left from right (or is that right from left?)

You're probably an aspie if you always wear clothes/ shoes a size smaller than you need - not because you're a woman wanting to look thinner but because you don't want them to fall off or fly off when you're walking, in the case of footwear (me insecure?)

You're probably an aspie if you walk funny because of all the tension in your body and the fact that you're not really there most of the time (I'm not in right now but if you want to leave a message, shout after the Tone, Dave, Ed, Belinda etc).

You're probably an aspie if you love staying in (See OCD and security above): Internal journeyers build homes - external journeyers live in houses i.e. are just passing through their lives not staying here (mindful inaction versus mindless activity - filling your life with something as opposed to emptying it of everything)

You're probably an aspie if that Far Side joke about what Ralph the dog really hears, applies to you, when other people speak (blah, blah, blah Tony blah, blah, blah)

You're probably an aspie if eau de cologne, lavendar and the taste of gin make you want to vomit

You're probably an aspie if you have sudden enthusiasms and none at all (blank wall and rocket up the backside, syndromes).

You're probably an aspie if you're clumsy, awkward and your handwriting is so atrocious, that people think your written communication is like The Far Side cartoon about Ralph the dog (blah, blah, blah Tony, blah, blah, blah)

You're probably an aspie if you were a quiet baby (dead from below the eyes, down)

You're probably an aspie if you have trouble physically swallowing but no trouble at all swallowing any old load of crap any NT tells you (You know it doesn't make sense so it gives you mental indigestion but you take it in an try to analyse it anyway)

You know you're probably an aspie when you suffer from the panic attack-anger-migraine cycle or just plain temper tantrum, if a kid

You know you might be an aspie if you make incessant notes and notes about the notes, ad infinitum

You know you're an aspie if you won't let go of something (obsessive - see OCD) until you've well and truly bored yourself and everyone else rigid with it (This thread for instance and my posting here)

You know you're probably an aspie when your body is as rigid as your thinking

You know you're probably an aspie when you have food fads and intolerances as well as fetishes, like sniffing scented candles in TK Maxx

You know you're probably an aspie when you collect anything and everything humanly possible

You could, I think possibly, maybe...be somebody with autistic symptoms, if.. and you can argue the point, if you want as I can't claim to be totally sure, be that way by being indirect and inoffensive in your discourse with others, including avoiding eye contact but I readily admit I could be wrong

YMBAAI... you find yourself surrounded by more action figures than humanity.

You might be an Aspie if your idea of fun is watching your video anthology on the history of Britain.

You might be an Aspie if you have ever requested a dictionary for Christmas.

You might be an Aspie if you pull out a dictionary and read it whenever you're bored at school.

You might be an Aspie if you know the exact birth date of Queen Elizabeth I.

All these things actually apply to me, but I'm sure they can apply to other Aspies as well.

YMBAAI you actually watch Mythbusters for the science and not just the explosions

you talk about what you learned from Mythbusters, and not just which experiments produced the best explosions.

YMBAAI: your chair suddenly ejects you and the floor attacks you on the way down.

YMBAAI if conversing with teachers constitutes most of your social interaction at school.

Yes! And the way spoons and forks jump out of your hand or stick to your fingers, so you can't put the buggers down!

THATS ME

You might be an Aspie if you try to count how many red lights go off in the city at one particular time during the day..

you might be an aspie if you have a bath a put teh se clothes back on and don't wash your hair or anything whilein the bath and in stead look for splash patterns in the water.

This music one is like me I got all of my moosic all 1000 + (I would put the actual number there but the incomplete look of it would annoy me )cd's all perfectly in order and the rest of my room is a bomb site hehe

I used to watch the water run down the shower walls joining with other droplets.

Never mind that I was cold...

You might be an aspie if you have no empathy for others because you have no sympathy for your own blunders either (hard on others because you're hard on yourself).

You might be an aspie if you're in a queue for the gas chamber, turn to the guard and say
'Can I see your commanding officer - I think there's a more efficient way to do this'
and not be out to save yourself, just make things run smoother (Based on Temple Grandin's humane improvements to slaughter houses and the The Guillotine Joke (Man being executed in France and twice the blade fails to fall, so the third time the guy turns his head, looks up and says to the guards 'Say you fellows, I can see why it's not working!'): Thinking about it, could the Jews have been an autistic race?

YMBAA if you spend years playing 'armies' by yourself including;
-having the full uniform and equipment
-manufacturing from scratch detailed replicas of all the weapons you would need because they are either not sold in the shops or the replicas are not very good
-digging a fox hole through 3 feet of sand, 5 feet of clay and adding a retaining wall to stop the house from falling into your foxhole.
-spending whole days happily ensconced in your pretend war and resenting it when your mother tells you to go out and play with your 'friends'. you spend the time sitting on the side of the road planning improvements to your foxhole because the other kids think you're weird and don't want to play with you.
-you move house three times and do the same thing every time. you don't give it away until you turn 14 when your mother throws everything out, saying you're too old for this sort of thing. 24 years later you still get the urge to grab a shovel and start all over again.
-you get rejected by the army because your 'socialisation skills are not sufficiently developed... [for a] small unit environment.'

You might be an Aspie if you make strange noises at airports...

Speaking of airports... I can't believe no one in this entire thread has mentioned anything about airplanes...

YMBAAI you aren't afraid of flying, but hate airplanes anyway... being trapped in a sealed environment with recirculated air, with a couple hundred other people's noises, smells, etc. Yikes.

If I have to fly anything more than a couple hours, there are drugs & hiding under a blanket involved, just due to the sensory overload.

RR

YMBAAI you just noticed you are now a "butterfly" & are irritated because that's not a bird.