You Might be an Aspie if...

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Reply with "two quarks in a proton, one in a neutron."

... if you get pissed when people compare people they dislike to nazi's when they have not prosecuted a single non-Arian person (or at least not for the sake of prosecuting a non-Arian person) ...
Comparing them to Stasi's would be much better anyway.

You might be an aspie if you try to read the New Testament for the first time and you find the genealogy of Christ, which it begins with in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 1, very fascinating and not boring like most people.
Bonus points if you are generally fascinated with biblical genealogies, also the ones in Old Testament, eg. in Genesis.

(Yep - guilty of that one. )

I have to stop myself from doing this nearly every time >_<

and will stare at the full fridge and while logically knowing there is plenty to eat still feel like there is nothing to eat because that one food you've been stuck on lately is all gone and your sitting there trying to decide to go get more and risk whats in the fridge going bad by not eating it, not eating all together, or trying to make yourself eat something else (bonus points if this takes 15 minutes or more and you space that the fridge is still open during this time).

(Oh and I still don't know how to ride a bike >_<)



I hate when there's a TV on most the time. TV + me = instazombie. I just can't focus on anything else if one of those damn things is on, especially conversations. However I will leave one on to zone out on making things because the focus of not focusing on the TV seems to help me focus on what I want to focus on (and I am pretty sure that makes absolutely no sense).

I do not think my Aspergers Syndrome/Bipolar and Schizophrenia help much in looking for jobs.. I get really pessimistic and think negatively all the time. Long-term unemployment sucks big time.

Please excuse me if I may say the wrong thing at times.

Please forgive me if I do not express the right emotion at the right time.

I am sorry that I am an alien. Being an outsider with no friends sucks.

haha! YES!

Haircuts are awful. It's so awkward. It sucks if you hate eye contact, even though you aren't really, when you look at the mirror you see them and it seems like you're looking the stylist in the eyes. And they always ask the same questions and that makes if even more awkward because my less than enthusiastic answers. At the end when they ask "how is that?" I always feel like I sound unhappy with it when I say "it's good" so Ben Stein like. To make matters worse, my hair grows extremely fast..I have to get it cut often or I get a mullet.

Or an entire 24 hours.

How about running simulated conversations for months in anticipation of having to say something?

You would rather go to work with the Flu than call in sick, which requires talking to people.

You vote for every single thing you watch on IMDB.com, and have become quite obsessive with raising the number of votes.

You have read each Harry Potter books at least 7 times and you get excited whenever it is mentioned in conversations.

You watched all 6 Star Wars films in one sitting, in chronological order, episodes 1- 6.

The next day you watched them in the order they were released.

You got in trouble on purpose so that you wouldn't have to go to recess, but could stay in and do work.

You have been playing the Guitar Hero/ Rock Band games for years but are just now mastering the 'easy' difficulty.

You watched 24 episodes of 24 in 24 hours in real time.

Every time you had to do an oral presentation in class, you mysteriously had a fever all those days.

YMBAAI you have to constantly pretend to laugh when people joke because very few people are actually funny and yet everyone tries.

You read (and loved) Charles Darwin since you were 15 (even odder in a girl.)
You can organize your essay points but not your room.
You start and your heart palpitates when you parents knock on the door, even when not doing anything guilty such as playing games instead of studying.
You read rather advanced literature for your age and was frustrated that no one else read the same thing. When peers started reading that sort of thing, you had got bored by them and moved on to nonfiction and dry articles.
Read fiction for the sake of analysing without actually enjoying the book.
Actually LOVE chemistry unlike the typical NT.
Ace exams by using random logic despite having poor memory.
Dislike good poems purely because they are ungrammatical, unmusical and do not use advanced or literary words.
Was praised for literary style in English class but unable to think up a plot.
Dislike any piece of heartwarming literature without a single intellectual theme in it.
Had a controlling mother who exploited your intelligence only to make you learn by rote and prevent independent thinking.
Learn faster by yourself, rather than being taught by someone else.

When you go out of a hairdressers and decide not to return because the hairdresser insisted on resting some of her body weight via her pubic bone against your forearm and when you moved it, she didn't get the message and re-rested it on the outer flank of your bicep.

You were figuring out an engineering type support for female hairdressers made of steel tube and nylon harnesses throughout the ordeal to prevent this degree of uninvited intimacy.

You may be an aspie, if you're too set in your new ways, to change.

Like that joke:
"There are 10 kinds of people, those who know binary and those who do not" which is stupid, because it is incorrect. It starts with 2^0 which is one, and you do not need the other 0 because there is nothing to come after it.
01 would be correct, though, because that would be 2^1 which is 2.

Actually, in binary enumeration, 01 is equivalent to decimal 1. One bit on is one bit on, after all; no bits on (00) is decimal 0. Two bits, first bit on and second bit off (10) is equal to decimal 2. Both bits on (11) is equal to decimal 3. And so on...