Being disliked hurts

Post Reply New Topic

I'd say there should be a point where the helper realizes they're not getting anywhere and let go. I think if they continue to hang on then they have a problem of their own they need to address. I myself have gotten sucked into such a situation and realized it was a problem on my end. I still talk to that person, but I'm not trying to fix them any longer or trying to referee their threads.

He does come across that way. Remember! He's autistic like you and me! We're not known for our charming, academy award personalities.

On Wrongplanet!! !!

I don't believe it's possible for anyone to be receptive to advice until they have fully accepted their situation. Ive learned that the hard way... The person doesnt intend to take other autistic people for granted, but that is the tangeable effect they have on me. I've seen it here with other posters too, some of us are highly empathetic and it's up to each person to choose how much to give to a person seeking comfort.

The limited energy I have is valuable and I tend to not give any advise unless I believe that it's time well spent, some of the most useful advice ive read on this forum is from old threads, where someone else struggled with a similar situation.
So at least someone somewhere could benefit, even if the OP does not.

Folk on the autistic spectrum tend to struggle with other people awareness be they the one filling the energy tank or emptying it, its not a piece to be taken personally, especially if the person is not well and lack supports in their personal lives. I've been through my share of depression and hard times and remember vegetableman and auntblabby taking the time to reply (politely) and point out that I was among peers, and my experiences were not unique, especially here. I consider myself a thoughtful person, but this genuinely had not occurred to me until that moment.
For tolerance and inclusion to work it has to be a two way process, otherwise we may as well be on any ordinary support site.

For tolerance and inclusion to work people need to realise when boundaries are being crossed. If they won't or cant understand where those boundaries are , then they have to have it spelled out to them.

The boundaries part is also a two way piece. It's like the person shouting the loudest always getting attention, what about the quiet person in the background, just because they don't shout does not mean that their challenges are any less real.
We move together or we fall apart as a community.

Apart from Alex , moderators are the only members allowed to interpret the rules in a way they see fit.

Members don't get to decide if there posts are fine or not.

Do you think I am trying to destroy the community or something by calling out a few members behaviours in a few threads ?

The only reason I wanted to become a mod is to make this a safer place for all.

If i thought that Ferris I would have said it to you straight out I'd have likely pm'd you. I actually care about this site.
No hidden meaning in my posts, saying it as I see it. Besides I've always been a supporter of our moderators, I have a great deal of respect for the energy it must take as an autistic person to navigate the social misunderstandings on this site as a volunteer.

I think I've said all I need to on the matter. It's not a discussion any more.

It's not a job I could do, and it sickens me to see your energy being taken for granted.

It's my own fault , my style leads people to think it's a discussion as I do like to explain issues in a sarcastic way rather than actually moderating. I will have to change that.

What I would like to see is the citing of the specific rule that's been broken when people are warned or threads are locked by the mods. Sometimes the moderation seems more related to how a specific mod feels about a thread or comment when there is no indication that there's been any infraction of the rules themselves. It would be nice if mods pointed to the specific rules so that the rest of us understand what is wrong with the conduct of the individual or content of the thread, and the moderation seems less arbitrary. I've seen mods lock threads that I didn't see a problem with and they only say such things like "I think this thread's gone far enough. Locked." How am I to know what the problem was with the thread, and thus, what to avoid doing, if the mods aren't transparent about their reasoning for locking certain threads?

[MOD]

This post is off topic , I have already said my piece.

If you would like to discuss moderation , start a new thread.

[/MOD]

Topic locked pending moderation.