21 Oct 2011, 5:53 pm
cubedemon6073 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Quote:
He is also undiagnosed, which frustates me also, he should have been able to tell me that he had it, (in the ideal world, of course!)
Exactly how could he have done this?
For me, it took years of research to truly figure out what exactly was wrong with me. I researched it for a number of years until I finally cracked it at the age of 29. I'm 32 now. The only reason I figured it out was because my wife gave me a lot more data to go on. Even then it was difficult for me to swallow and accept that my neurology is completely different from everyone elses. It was too painful for me to face this truth for a long time. For the women at aspartners whose husbands will not accept themselves on the autism spectrum I believe this is why. It is to painful for some of them to bare as it was for me.
I believe Wayne is correct though in what he is doing. Ultimately, I believe we can sum this up. What you're doing Wayne right now is being proactive. I believe we aspies cannot run on instinct to much. This means we have to be proactive as much as possible in everything we do and our relationships around us. Any child we have who is an aspie needs to learn to be as proactive as possible. Personally, I think we on here need to all come up with strategies on being proactive. I think proactivity needs to be one of our best friends. I believe Greentea did this as well a long time ago. She factored time for herself when doing major things for things that could go wrong. She factored in time for Murphy's law. We do the same thing as well.
These women need to stay in my opinon and need to be able to vent against their asperger spouses. By reading their stuff, we not only know who our enemy is but we truly know ourselves a lot better. Personally, I think you are on to something Wayne. My advice is to strip off all of their emotional crap and read the content that is emmeshed within this emotional crap.
I agree with what you say, but I'm unable to get past the vitriol. I'll just have to rely on less obnoxious sources for my info
~Kate
21 Oct 2011, 6:52 pm
Meow101 wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Quote:
He is also undiagnosed, which frustates me also, he should have been able to tell me that he had it, (in the ideal world, of course!)
Exactly how could he have done this?
For me, it took years of research to truly figure out what exactly was wrong with me. I researched it for a number of years until I finally cracked it at the age of 29. I'm 32 now. The only reason I figured it out was because my wife gave me a lot more data to go on. Even then it was difficult for me to swallow and accept that my neurology is completely different from everyone elses. It was too painful for me to face this truth for a long time. For the women at aspartners whose husbands will not accept themselves on the autism spectrum I believe this is why. It is to painful for some of them to bare as it was for me.
I believe Wayne is correct though in what he is doing. Ultimately, I believe we can sum this up. What you're doing Wayne right now is being proactive. I believe we aspies cannot run on instinct to much. This means we have to be proactive as much as possible in everything we do and our relationships around us. Any child we have who is an aspie needs to learn to be as proactive as possible. Personally, I think we on here need to all come up with strategies on being proactive. I think proactivity needs to be one of our best friends. I believe Greentea did this as well a long time ago. She factored time for herself when doing major things for things that could go wrong. She factored in time for Murphy's law. We do the same thing as well.
These women need to stay in my opinon and need to be able to vent against their asperger spouses. By reading their stuff, we not only know who our enemy is but we truly know ourselves a lot better. Personally, I think you are on to something Wayne. My advice is to strip off all of their emotional crap and read the content that is emmeshed within this emotional crap.
I agree with what you say, but I'm unable to get past the vitriol. I'll just have to rely on less obnoxious sources for my info
~Kate
Same here. There are lots of books on AS to get your information, including ones on AS and relationships.
21 Oct 2011, 7:15 pm
21 Oct 2011, 7:35 pm
Meow101 wrote:
I've found "Asperger's Syndrome and Long Term Relationships" to be helpful...now if I could only get my husband to read it!
~Kate
~Kate
Kate, try it. If he is like Qplan it won't do any good.
Qplan thinks his judge was an aspie. How did Qplan derive this? How many sheets of acid did this man drop? Either that or he is a flaming moron.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.a ... D11320%2E1
League_Girl is Qplan your ex-bf's conjoined twin and were they split at birth??
Both Qplan and your ex-bf need to get the rods out of their asses.
21 Oct 2011, 7:39 pm
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Meow101 wrote:
I've found "Asperger's Syndrome and Long Term Relationships" to be helpful...now if I could only get my husband to read it!
~Kate
~Kate
Kate, try it. If he is like Qplan it won't do any good.
Qplan thinks his judge was an aspie. How did Qplan derive this? How many sheets of acid did this man drop? Either that or he is a flaming moron.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.a ... D11320%2E1
League_Girl is Qplan your ex-bf's conjoined twin and were they split at birth??
Both Qplan and your ex-bf need to get the rods out of their asses. Wait, isn't Qplan the one who was curled up into a little ball in the bathroom with kidney stones (!) a few years back when his wife walked past him and went to work? If so, I can see why he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder.
21 Oct 2011, 7:39 pm
21 Oct 2011, 7:43 pm
Wayne wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Meow101 wrote:
I've found "Asperger's Syndrome and Long Term Relationships" to be helpful...now if I could only get my husband to read it!
~Kate
~Kate
Kate, try it. If he is like Qplan it won't do any good.
Qplan thinks his judge was an aspie. How did Qplan derive this? How many sheets of acid did this man drop? Either that or he is a flaming moron.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.a ... D11320%2E1
League_Girl is Qplan your ex-bf's conjoined twin and were they split at birth??
Both Qplan and your ex-bf need to get the rods out of their asses. Wait, isn't Qplan the one who was curled up into a little ball in the bathroom with kidney stones (!) a few years back when his wife walked past him and went to work? If so, I can see why he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder.
Oh!! ! I did not know that. I've would've been very frantic if I saw him in that state. I can understand that. In my mind I would've saw something was wrong. Even my fully autistic cousin would've spotted that something was wrong. I have no theory to this whatsoever. It may be that she may not truly give a f**k about him at all and she may just be the wicked witch of the west. I mean, we don't know.
Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 21 Oct 2011, 7:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
21 Oct 2011, 7:44 pm
Meow101 wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Quote:
He is also undiagnosed, which frustates me also, he should have been able to tell me that he had it, (in the ideal world, of course!)
Exactly how could he have done this?
For me, it took years of research to truly figure out what exactly was wrong with me. I researched it for a number of years until I finally cracked it at the age of 29. I'm 32 now. The only reason I figured it out was because my wife gave me a lot more data to go on. Even then it was difficult for me to swallow and accept that my neurology is completely different from everyone elses. It was too painful for me to face this truth for a long time. For the women at aspartners whose husbands will not accept themselves on the autism spectrum I believe this is why. It is to painful for some of them to bare as it was for me.
I believe Wayne is correct though in what he is doing. Ultimately, I believe we can sum this up. What you're doing Wayne right now is being proactive. I believe we aspies cannot run on instinct to much. This means we have to be proactive as much as possible in everything we do and our relationships around us. Any child we have who is an aspie needs to learn to be as proactive as possible. Personally, I think we on here need to all come up with strategies on being proactive. I think proactivity needs to be one of our best friends. I believe Greentea did this as well a long time ago. She factored time for herself when doing major things for things that could go wrong. She factored in time for Murphy's law. We do the same thing as well.
These women need to stay in my opinon and need to be able to vent against their asperger spouses. By reading their stuff, we not only know who our enemy is but we truly know ourselves a lot better. Personally, I think you are on to something Wayne. My advice is to strip off all of their emotional crap and read the content that is emmeshed within this emotional crap.
I agree with what you say, but I'm unable to get past the vitriol. I'll just have to rely on less obnoxious sources for my info
~Kate
But that "emotional crap" is itself data! It may be ambiguous and confusing, but it certainly isn't random noise. Unfortunately, when I'm blasted with it in person my mind shuts down so I generally don't learn anything that way. Reading it all in silent text that holds still is much better.
People don't say any of this stuff where I can hear them, or if they do they're personally attacking me and not at all interested in whether I understand them properly or not. ASPartners is pretty much the only place in the world where I can see it all in one place. Again, it's ambiguous and complicated as all hell, as anything is when fueled by that much raw emotion, but there is a huuuuge amount of nice juicy data in there.
21 Oct 2011, 7:45 pm
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Wayne wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
Meow101 wrote:
I've found "Asperger's Syndrome and Long Term Relationships" to be helpful...now if I could only get my husband to read it!
~Kate
~Kate
Kate, try it. If he is like Qplan it won't do any good.
Qplan thinks his judge was an aspie. How did Qplan derive this? How many sheets of acid did this man drop? Either that or he is a flaming moron.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/n/main.a ... D11320%2E1
League_Girl is Qplan your ex-bf's conjoined twin and were they split at birth??
Both Qplan and your ex-bf need to get the rods out of their asses. Wait, isn't Qplan the one who was curled up into a little ball in the bathroom with kidney stones (!) a few years back when his wife walked past him and went to work? If so, I can see why he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder.
Oh!! ! I did not know that. I've would've been very frantic if I saw him in that state. I can understand that. In my mind I would've saw something was wrong. Even my fully autistic cousin would've spotted that something was wrong.
I'm not 100% sure it was him, but one of the male NTs did tell that story in ASPartners a few years ago.
21 Oct 2011, 7:51 pm
Wayne wrote:
Meow101 wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Quote:
He is also undiagnosed, which frustates me also, he should have been able to tell me that he had it, (in the ideal world, of course!)
Exactly how could he have done this?
For me, it took years of research to truly figure out what exactly was wrong with me. I researched it for a number of years until I finally cracked it at the age of 29. I'm 32 now. The only reason I figured it out was because my wife gave me a lot more data to go on. Even then it was difficult for me to swallow and accept that my neurology is completely different from everyone elses. It was too painful for me to face this truth for a long time. For the women at aspartners whose husbands will not accept themselves on the autism spectrum I believe this is why. It is to painful for some of them to bare as it was for me.
I believe Wayne is correct though in what he is doing. Ultimately, I believe we can sum this up. What you're doing Wayne right now is being proactive. I believe we aspies cannot run on instinct to much. This means we have to be proactive as much as possible in everything we do and our relationships around us. Any child we have who is an aspie needs to learn to be as proactive as possible. Personally, I think we on here need to all come up with strategies on being proactive. I think proactivity needs to be one of our best friends. I believe Greentea did this as well a long time ago. She factored time for herself when doing major things for things that could go wrong. She factored in time for Murphy's law. We do the same thing as well.
These women need to stay in my opinon and need to be able to vent against their asperger spouses. By reading their stuff, we not only know who our enemy is but we truly know ourselves a lot better. Personally, I think you are on to something Wayne. My advice is to strip off all of their emotional crap and read the content that is emmeshed within this emotional crap.
I agree with what you say, but I'm unable to get past the vitriol. I'll just have to rely on less obnoxious sources for my info
~Kate
But that "emotional crap" is itself data! It may be ambiguous and confusing, but it certainly isn't random noise. Unfortunately, when I'm blasted with it in person my mind shuts down so I generally don't learn anything that way. Reading it all in silent text that holds still is much better.
People don't say any of this stuff where I can hear them, or if they do they're personally attacking me and not at all interested in whether I understand them properly or not. ASPartners is pretty much the only place in the world where I can see it all in one place. Again, it's ambiguous and complicated as all hell, as anything is when fueled by that much raw emotion, but there is a huuuuge amount of nice juicy data in there.
Yes, It is chocked full of data. It has helped me to correct certain things with my wife as well. For example, I try to stop blaming no matter if I think it is my wife's fault. I believe this is the #1 bone of contention with their husbands. I use "I" statements and turn it around to make it my fault. For example, let's say my wife says x and she meant why. I don't say she said x. I say, I thought you said or meant x. I must've misunderstood what you said. I researched this crap out myself and it has done our marriage here wonders.
Another thing I'm learning is not to be so pedantic especially if it means nothing and will accomplish nothing in the long wrong. In essence, pick your battles.
Sometimes I do slip up wayne. League_Girl and Kate, I will give you the same advice. With your husbands just pick your battles as well. There are somethings not worth fighting about. Personally, I wish my wife would use the word couple in the correct way but it's not worth raising my blood pressure over it.
Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 21 Oct 2011, 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
btbnnyr
Veteran
Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
21 Oct 2011, 7:54 pm
21 Oct 2011, 8:12 pm
21 Oct 2011, 8:13 pm
21 Oct 2011, 8:15 pm
btbnnyr
Veteran
Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
21 Oct 2011, 8:24 pm
hanyo wrote:
Here is another one.
"I completely freaked at him, I mean screaming down the phone!! and told him to never contact me again and stay the hell away from me. He did just that and I haven't heard a word from him since. I tried several times to call and text him to apologise for my behaviour as I felt bad about my reaction to him........Nothing, Nada??"
They wouldn't be hearing from me again either.
"I completely freaked at him, I mean screaming down the phone!! and told him to never contact me again and stay the hell away from me. He did just that and I haven't heard a word from him since. I tried several times to call and text him to apologise for my behaviour as I felt bad about my reaction to him........Nothing, Nada??"
They wouldn't be hearing from me again either.
Lucky guy to get away from the harpy.
21 Oct 2011, 8:28 pm
