Aspergers and victim complex

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I certainly don't care enough about that member for this to be the case, but back on topic is a good idea.

I just talked about comets! LOL

You do have a point, but of course

I believe bullying breeds the creation of a self-fulfilling prophecy, which creates an ideology whereby one believes it is inevitable that one will be bullied--hence, "what's the use" in trying to transcend the bullying, and rise above the bully.

Is Victim Complex in the DSM-V?

lol that's a good question, I'm curious to know if it is, personally.

It's probably been moved under a delusional disorder. Delusional beliefs or something.

Again, the OP is wrong in the definition of "victim complex". That is the delusional belief above (formerly known as persecutory delusions).

kraftiekortie wrote:

chat can feel productive for those who are on that tape, and maybe it is for them, but you obviously have a different understanding of what is productive than I do, so here is where the waters part (for me..)

Are you joking? No.

Perfectly honestly, it wouldn't phase me at all, and people have said this kind of thing to me on more than one occasion here//// I think even these exact same words somewhat recently...

I do not see it as a competition, but even from that perspective it is not a draw just because you say so. you win, and that is fine, as this is where the waters part for me.

Perhaps I should engage in active thinking for not only my own sake but also the sake of my brother and think before I speak:-)

I do not see it as an argument...maybe it is a game... on my part of course, and not on yours....

...thanks.. but imo the force has been leaked and it's is not that easy to get it back...too bad...imo...really, really too bad.....oh well, don't cry over spilt milk, and please do not take this as a criticism, but i do not believe that trying to neutralize every single drop of conflict is always the best solution in terms of coming to understanding and alleviating human sorrow....

I thought we settled this already LOL

Meanwhile...back at the ranch.

Ah, maybe I should have been more specific...I do like to understand the general social dynamics behind what is going on in any situation. That's kind of a fascination for me too. And it's important because it helps me decide what I want to get involved in or not and maybe avoid unnecessary stress if things are getting too much for me.

But what I meant is that when I post here, I basically just want to comment on the topic at hand and stay out of the personal stuff. I'm not interested in the details of why other people are offended by each other or not getting along, or whatever it is that is happening in a thread like this. This is a huge forum and I can't possibly keep up with even a fraction of the goings on here.

So when I see people sniping at each other here I usually have no idea what led up to it. I don't know if people have good reason to be criticizing someone or not. It just feels awful to see people heaping judgments and criticisms on each other, and I feel especially bad for anyone who is taking the brunt of it or being ganged up on in some way. I want to stand up for people who are being attacked and at the same time I just want to run the other way and stay out of it.

I have been on other forums where if I made a post like this I would have gotten a lot of private messages telling me the backstory of what is going on and who said what and next thing I would feel like I was being pressured to take sides against people. And I'd get jerked around a lot because I would naturally sympathize with pretty much everyone involved. I made a decision some times ago that I just don't need to know about those things anymore.

I see a lot of posters here that I really like and when I see that they posted in a thread it makes me want to read it because I want to know what they had to say. Sometimes even in a heavy debate I might want to read it because I might learn something from it. But when people are disrespectful to each other it puts me off and I don't want to read anymore.

Don't worry: you'll get your "social dynamics" now. You'll be able to answer the posters "you really like" and have a most amiable, substantive, intellectual discussion which will yield solutions to the travails of the world.

No its not.

Also re: the definition of a victim complex. That's what I was thinking too is that it's really more along the lines of a delusional belief or paranoia, not something people do for attention but because they sincerely feel victimized.

And if a person is blaming their autism or other diagnosis for everything that is wrong in their lives, that sounds more like an inferiority complex than a victim complex(?)

But I think a real victim is someone who would seldom complain, or even think to complain about their circumstances because they believe it's just their lot in life and they have to accept it. A person who just feels beat down and defeated inside. I would rather see someone talking about how bad they have it.

I got bullied. I literally was stalked throughout the school day and on my way home by people who wanted to hurt me. This wasn't a here or there thing. It was so bad the school had to step in several times and my parents had to drive me to and from school. I was deemed the weird kid and that is why I was stalked. So say I have a victim complex all you want, but it is the truth.

It stopped when I had a meltdown in the ninth grade in the middle of the quad at lunch and screamed at a bunch of my tormentors. That scared them off

That's the way to do it, QudditchChick: Stand up to the Bullies!! !! ! That took spunk!

I think it's only a "victim complex" if one's life is ruled by victimization.

See not sure that would be a victim complex either...if someone is being victimized so often their life is ruled by it, sounds to me like there would actually be people victimizing them so people in that situation could very well be real victims. Sometimes standing up to someone or a group can help, sometimes it doesn't and the harassment will continue.

I don't really like the word "victim". In my mind it implies some kind of violence. Calling a person a "victim" or telling them to "stop being a victim" comes across as calling them "weak". It's almost a taunt that will just make someone more and more angry. You want to make someone snap and do something violent, just keep telling them "don't be a victim" over and over again. Society has this sort of passive-aggressive "fighter" mentality. In a lot of cases there are things you really can't do anything about without going to jail for it. If you really can't afford to lose a job because you need money, your boss has the leverage to treat you however badly he/she wants. You don't hold the cards. The best you can do is speak up for yourself, but ultimately you don't have control when you depend on people with more power.

People don't want to see victims. They want to believe everyone in the world can change/fix their problems, and if they don't, they are CHOOSING it. It's a way to act like humans have far more control than what they actually do.

Not only is that view severely out of touch with reality, it's extremely common. So, people continue to victim blame because society accepts it as OK. It serves two purposes: To reinforce the speakers views/control, and to ignore real problems by asserting it's all within your control.

It seems easier to do unless you notice real suffering all around you.