Aspergers and victim complex

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Well I didn't read the whole thread, but after seeing some more specific examples given, like the showering thing, I can better understand where some of this is coming from.

A victim mentality is about feeling like you have no choice, or feeling like none of the choices you have are viable. It's not an Aspergers thing, it's just a human thing, because every human being alive is going to feel that way about some aspect of their life. And people often have very legitimate reasons to feel that way.

It's easy to give suggestions and point out the simple and obvious things that another person could do to change their situation. But if the other person found it just as easy to actually take those actions, they probably wouldn't be talking about their problems or asking for help to begin with.

Most of us are posting here because we have some kind of trouble functioning. Needless to say that does not get resolved just because a person decides to finally take a shower, or get a job or get out of the house, or whatever else has been suggested by well-meaning people, because the problem is more pervasive than that.

And years of living that way can take a toll. It can lead to depression or anxiety, or other issues that further limit the ability to function. You can't just "think" or "will" your way out of it because it is like getting stuck in a giant rat maze in your mind.

People ultimately have to find their own solutions. Our needs are individual and may change as time goes on. Some need therapy or chemical intervention. Some need support services. Some need emotional support from friends or family. Sometimes people need hope or encouragement, or someone to listen. Sometimes people need to vent and complain. Sometimes people just need to know that others have similar experiences. A lot of times people can't find exactly what they need so they are just making do with the best they can find.

Sometimes, people really do need lots of attention and sympathy! Far be it from me to begrudge it to them, or judge them for it. And it's none of my business to decide whether it's actually helping them or not, or if something else might help them more. It's not my place to figure out what other people need...especially not when it's someone on the internet that I've never met in person, that I am not qualified to diagnose or treat anyway.

I would be especially careful about trying to dispense tough love or criticism to people...again, especially over the internet. A careless, insensitive remark could do so much more damage than you realize.

I have seen people dismiss sensory issues multiple times on this forum.

Saying that it's easy to just "push through the pain/discomfort" or saying that one has to deal with the sensory overload because of reasons. It's yet another way difficulties are often trivialized here.

Reminds me of this guy who told me that all one has to do to deal with anxiety is willpower through it. And, er, no. That doesn't work.

I often apply willpower to deal with sensory issues.
Like shopping for groceries or attending a meeting.
I hate those activities, and I get sensory overload from them, but I have to do them and deal with them.
I have various ways to deal with things that cause me problems and the consequences of going ahead and doing these things, but the doing these things is usually not optional for me, if I want to be independent and do what I want to do in life.

I'm deemed "mild" AS, which still seems in dispute as to definition, but I've had life-long "social problems" along such lines.

Re bullying, from pre-K to 12th grade, only the 7th grade was bully free. I'm intorvert and HSP too. In combination, I think that makes me a target -is being an antelope before a hungry lion a victim over-identification problem?

Here's the thing I want to ask you all who may know/relate. Have you experienced the effects of gaslighting, or character assassination, or severe ostracisicm or any much of such pyschopathy? One person on WP had said that was also a problem in her life with her brother. I've been experiencing this for long with my family. I'm in counseling over it all and can prove such actually happened to me by names, dates, places, witnesses, etc., but that doesn't matter. The counselor attributes it all to me (I've hardly spent 3 hours w/her and she's 1/2 my age with only a BA.)

So, while it is reported here by others that Aspies can be targeted for their naivatie, social awarkwardness, etc., and are prone to being bullied, does all such mean everything is our fault and we seek victim sympathy when we're undeservedly taken advantage of & accused? I mean, was Ingrid Bergman at fault in that "Gas Light" movie or was it her husband? Was Ingrid just seeking sympathy and feeling sorry for herself? Or, did she actually need help against her predator?

I'm poor now and have trouble finding work. My siblings benefited by taking advantage of me to the tune of $1m. Just one fraud of theirs, which I have the documents to prove would have me with $232k in the bank. I'm about near homeless and ill and others are saying it's "all my fault". I just want some justice recognition, not victim sympathy. Plus, I'd like some input on any experiences you may have had re this and any helpful advice on dealing with/recovering from such.

"Avoid the wicked" has been my motto, but that gets harder and now it's a bit late. Thanks for any comments

I'm giving up here.
Clearly you need to state every single tiny thing or risk getting blown up with paragraphs.

I'm not here to argue the genetics of diabetes. The point was, if it's not the genetic type (which it wasn't, it was the one that develops due to diet), how the hell is it the doctors fault? Sweet Leaf you seem to just be wanting a fight now, as opposed to address the actual issue.

Thanks to those who actually *GET* what I mean.